Reason #88 to keep your women off commercial flights...

[merc lover]

around 2003, I was on an AirTran flight; the flight attendants kept serving an obviously drunk passenger more and more alcohol. he told all of us he was a 'stand up comedian'. Right. The more alcohol the flight attendants served him the more obnoxious he became. Was I ever happy to get off that airplane!


https://www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle/travel/family-sues-delta-after-drunken-passenger-allegedly-groped-mom-and-her-teen-daughter-on-a-9-hour-flight/ar-AA1eyVar?OCID=ansmsnnews11

[tbomachines]

"keep your women"

I take it your harem is all chained up and hasnt seem the sun in years?

[P.C.]

Missy, unpack your bags. I'm not allowing you to fly because they had a drunk masher on one of the approximately 45,000 flights which occur each day in the U.S. Now go make my dinner...

[cmac2012]

You never know, it could happen again.

All seriousness aside, that was a pretty extreme example. Serious steps should’ve been taken to get that ass in a seat not next to a teenage girl, I mean not initially, but after that behavior. It’s a weird environment in an airplane - nowhere to go for nine hours. Stuck with a bunch of strangers in a small space. Clearly they gave that guy too much alcohol.

[Idle]

As obvious as it sound you can't judge all men by just one drunk.

About twenty-five years ago I was flying first class (on the studio's dime!) and sitting next to me was a nine year old girl who was very prett,y wearing a dress that had to have cost $800, and scared to death of flying.

So I started joking with her and telling her show biz stories. She started telling me about her Mother's boyfriends. It was obvious she didn't understand some of the details of those relationships. An attendant was seated in the jump seat next to the cockpit and every now and then she would roll her eyes at the parts of the story we both understood.

But all in all we had a lot of fun joking with each other between LA and Dallas. And I picked up a lot of jokes that nine year olds find hilarious.

QUESTION: Why can't elephants dance? Well, because they have two left feet!

A three legged dog enters a bar. The bartender says no one wants any trouble. The dog says don't worry. I'm just looking for the man who shot my paw.

[cornemuse]

waddayah call a cow without any legs? ground beef!

[Idle]

Originally Posted by cornemuse

waddayah call a cow without any legs? ground beef!

Yup. She had a million of them. Most of them were quite cute.

The important thing was it took her mind off of her fear of flying. It was clear she was being shunted to visit one parent or the other and that likely made her nervous as well.

[Mxfrank]

I must have missed the first 87 reasons. Feel free to go though them again, one by one.

[davidmash]

Originally Posted by Mxfrank

I must have missed the first 87 reasons. Feel free to go though them again, one by one.

Aw come on. Don't poke that bear.

[merc lover]

the airlines will continue to serve drunk-off-their-a** passengers because (drum roll), they MAKE A LOT OF MONEY serving over priced booze.

Now, what if an in-flight emergency occurs and EVERYONE on the flight needs to be in control of their faculties? What will happen if there are more than a few DRUNKS? What if a drunk is sitting next to the exit door?

you tell me.

[cmac2012]

I rarely fly anymore. I don’t miss it.

[davidmash]

I know I am flying to Europe in April. I am sure we will take one or two domestic trips between now and then. Easiest and cheapest way to travel long distance.

[tbomachines]

I fly all the time. Its fine.

[cmac2012]

I’ve never had any serious trouble. One flight however gave me jet lag like I couldn’t believe. I had to get up about 4 AM to catch a flight at SFO going to JFK with a stopover in Minneapolis. I was visiting my niece in Brooklyn. I got into NYC around five or 6 PM IIRC and slept about 24 hours. I can’t explain it.

[Paulg1]

Worst flight I ever had was going from Dutch Harbor, Alaska to Anchorage.
Dutch is the biggest harbor in the US for commercial fishing

The guy I sat next to was a freezer packer. They sling 40 pound boxes of fish into the hold of a boat. 12 hours a day, 6 to 7 days per week.

The boxes are not yet frozen as they’re just off the factory header and gutting lines.
The whole place was a bit wet and slippery, you might say.
I’d say slimy.

Anyway, this guy, he hadn’t , I think, ever changed his coveralls.
You can’t smell much in a freezer, and if you can, everyone and everything smells, and so what.

So, this guy, he sits next to me. Friendly guy.

Oh, but he smelled bad.
I mean dead animal in a gutter in 105 degree weather after 3 days bad.

Of course, the plane was full. Nowhere else to sit.

I turned those air jets in the ceiling at my face. I tried, subtly, to point one at him.

It didn’t really help.

As I had just come off a 30 person fishing boat and had done a 3 month shift, I was used to some amount of foul smell, and truth, I wanted to go home.

The plane took off. People in front of us and behind us noticed.
The flight attendant came to my row.
I gave her the universal sign of distress.

They had dealt with this issue before. Being very empathetic, I pitied them, even while I was the most visible victim on this flight.

The attendants handed out bags of coffee made from filter paper. Sort of like giant tea bags. I guess that’s the secret method to brew coffee on planes.

Some people held the bags of coffee, others strapped it into the mesh bags which hold magazines.

I made too many trips to the bathroom and held my breath as long as possible.

On one of my sorties I noticed there was an extra fold down seat where the attendants hung out.
I spent the last hour with them.

When the plane landed, security was at the gate. I overheard them telling the guy he couldn’t board for Seattle unles he changed clothes. He argued with them.

Next I saw workers carting away the whole row of seats to be washed, burned, or buried, under nuclear waste perhaps.

On the way to Seattle I saw stinkypants a few rows away getting wasted.
He periodically shot me dirty looks, as if it was all my fault.

True story, bro.