Commiting Adulty.... - PeachParts Mercedes-Benz Forum

DuckMuck · #1 07-13-2003, 03:16 AM

I have found it difficult talkin' to guy friends about their relationships or any sorta sentimental stuff...especially this whole adultery thingy...but yes, I do know friends who do it...never could really open up a dialogue about it...so I sorta distance myself from the whole topic...which is kinda bad...

#2 07-13-2003, 07:10 AM

Stay away!

#3 07-13-2003, 09:58 AM

My option wasn't listed, though between the two, I would have to distance myself from the friendship.

But because it is a friendship, I would confront him about it and try to get him to stop. As a friend, I'd feel an obligation to help him stop doing something that is not only detrimental to himself but also to his family and his soul.

Hope this helps.

JCE · #4 07-13-2003, 10:01 AM

Presumably this person is married to someone they consider a friend, at the very least. They made their spouse a promise - a vow - not to commit adultery. If this woman or man won't honor their commitments to their most intimate friend, what makes you think they would treat the other people in their lives any better?

#5 07-13-2003, 04:06 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by JCE
Presumably this person is married to someone they consider a friend, at the very least. They made their spouse a promise - a vow - not to commit adultery. If this woman or man won't honor their commitments to their most intimate friend, what makes you think they would treat the other people in their lives any better?

That's the way I see it.

DuckMuck · #6 07-13-2003, 08:41 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SP0CK
How did DuckMuck become the creator of the topic, lol!!!!!

THIS IS MY THREAD NOW!!!

DogFart · #7 07-14-2003, 09:25 AM

Don't get married in the first place.

dtanesq · #8 07-14-2003, 08:27 PM

JCE -

I may have misunderstood what you wrote. I have to disagree mildly. I have a good friend struggling with this very issue at the moment. He has problems in his marriage and had an affair. He is obviously confused, screwed up and totally wrong and perhaps in that emotional state he can't be trusted. However, he has been a good friend for many years and as he has been I at least owe it to him to do what I can to see that he either gets the help he needs or modifies his behavior.

If he messes up with me, then I can't trust him, but he hasn't so far. He's abused the trust of his spouse and his children, but so far hasn't abused mine. Until he does, I think I should give him the benefit of the doubt.

Adultery is an ugly business for sure; it's a very complicated business and there is a lot of room for confusion and misdirection. While the chance exists that one who abuses the trust of his spouse might also abuse the trust of a friend, that's not necessarily a foregone conclusion and until proven otherwise, I prefer to give a friend the chance to remain my friend.

Doesn't mean I didn't give him a verbal lashing for being a screw-up, but I can't just abandon him for being human.

G-Benz · #9 07-15-2003, 11:26 AM

Many people justify their adulterous ways by pointing out that their current relationship is seriously flawed.

It's a weak argument with no merit whatsoever..."for better or worse", remember.

Still, as fallible human beings, we are forgiven by God unconditionally...so your friend at least deserves some amnesty from you as well.

Get him to seek help...and remind him what's at stake should the clandestine encounters reveal themselves to his significant other...loss of family, financial hardship, etc.

Divorce is not a pretty sight!

View Poll Results: On Friends Commiting Adulty
I would keep things "business as usual."	9	29.03%
I would have to distance myself.	22	70.97%
Voters: 31. You may not vote on this poll