Stop using your digital cameras!! - PeachParts Mercedes-Benz Forum

rickg · #1 08-28-2003, 02:34 PM

And this newsflash just in...

August 25, 2003 (AP)
Scientists Say Subatomic Particles Damaged by Use in Digital Photography

Researchers at Eastman Kodak announce discovery of a disturbing phenomenon
that may mean the eventual end of digital photography as it is presently
known.

Dr. Steven Bowman of the Curtis Advanced Labs division of Kodak tells
reporters that the unique handling of electrons made necessary by digital
photography actually damages those particles such that they gradually lose
their ability to convey color. As this occurs, says Dr. Bowman, storage
media casts off the damaged electrons and draws electrons from surrounding
materials - including the photographer - to continue functioning.

"The eventual result will be that not only is there a net loss of functional
matter in the universe, but what is left will be less colorful, less
vibrant," Dr. Bowman warns. "When cameras commonly capture 20 megapixels (a
standard of resolution) or more, the damage process seems to increase
exponentially, such that digital cameras may observably damage the fabric of
the known universe within our lifetimes. First we will notice a loss of
color in digital photographs. Then it will seem to spread to print media.
Eventually we ourselves will lose the ability to see color. From then on,
all color will be drained from personalities, localities, and we will live
in a black-and-white-world. The universe may stabilize in a B&W state,
although present research is inconclusive."

Dr. Bowman says that there may be one possible benefit of the phenomenon:
Early adopters of high-resolution digital photography also tend to drive
SUVs and other large and expensive cars. "We predict that, as these
photographers carry their cameras and storage media around in their
vehicles, they will draw electrons from the, making them potentially ligher
and more fuel efficient."

However, Dr. Bowman also observes that the damaged electrons are likely to
rise in the atmosphere and become assimiltated by the ozone layer.

"The altered ozone has no ultraviolet shielding properties, which of course
is bad. Worse is that it is more stable than normal ozone - once displaced
by damaged ozone, normal ozone is unlikely to be created in the upper
atmosphere. Altered ozone also has greatly enhanced heat-storage and
reflective properties. In other words, if we continue taking digital
pictures, we're toast."

Botnst · #2 08-28-2003, 02:44 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by rickg
And this newsflash just in...

August 25, 2003 (AP)
Scientists Say Subatomic Particles Damaged by Use in Digital Photography

Researchers at Eastman Kodak announce discovery of a disturbing phenomenon
that may mean the eventual end of digital photography as it is presently
known.

Dr. Steven Bowman of the Curtis Advanced Labs division of Kodak tells
reporters that the unique handling of electrons made necessary by digital
photography actually damages those particles such that they gradually lose
their ability to convey color. As this occurs, says Dr. Bowman, storage
media casts off the damaged electrons and draws electrons from surrounding
materials - including the photographer - to continue functioning.

"The eventual result will be that not only is there a net loss of functional
matter in the universe, but what is left will be less colorful, less
vibrant," Dr. Bowman warns. "When cameras commonly capture 20 megapixels (a
standard of resolution) or more, the damage process seems to increase
exponentially, such that digital cameras may observably damage the fabric of
the known universe within our lifetimes. First we will notice a loss of
color in digital photographs. Then it will seem to spread to print media.
Eventually we ourselves will lose the ability to see color. From then on,
all color will be drained from personalities, localities, and we will live
in a black-and-white-world. The universe may stabilize in a B&W state,
although present research is inconclusive."

Dr. Bowman says that there may be one possible benefit of the phenomenon:
Early adopters of high-resolution digital photography also tend to drive
SUVs and other large and expensive cars. "We predict that, as these
photographers carry their cameras and storage media around in their
vehicles, they will draw electrons from the, making them potentially ligher
and more fuel efficient."

However, Dr. Bowman also observes that the damaged electrons are likely to
rise in the atmosphere and become assimiltated by the ozone layer.

"The altered ozone has no ultraviolet shielding properties, which of course
is bad. Worse is that it is more stable than normal ozone - once displaced
by damaged ozone, normal ozone is unlikely to be created in the upper
atmosphere. Altered ozone also has greatly enhanced heat-storage and
reflective properties. In other words, if we continue taking digital
pictures, we're toast."

This is a really old phenomenon and has been present in nature since the first day of creation. It's the celestial color-suck and explains why everything is gray at night.

Botnst

jassz · #3 08-28-2003, 03:14 PM

I dunno, it was sounding fairly credible, till I got to this part:

Quote:

"We predict that, as these photographers carry their cameras and storage media around in their
vehicles, they will draw electrons from the, making them potentially ligher
and more fuel efficient."

So this is a bunch of milarky, right?

Colours are colours because of how they reflect or absorb light. Remove the light, the greyer things become, until it's black.

rickg · #4 08-28-2003, 03:36 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by jassz
So this is a bunch of milarky, right?

If anyone else here asked that, I'd let them continue wondering

But yes, it's a joke.

(because your special

)

BrierS · #5 08-28-2003, 03:50 PM

Does this mean we will see:

1) Fewer photos and more black & white drawings being submitted?

2) People offering to give away their color draining digital cameras?

Just when I was getting used to mine . . .

rickg · #6 08-28-2003, 03:55 PM

There's going to be a glut of digi-cameras on Ebay now!!

jassz · #7 08-28-2003, 04:00 PM

Quote:

But yes, it's a joke. (because your special )

Rick, how do you have time for milarky? Don't you have a houseful of annoying guests using all the hot water? Tissue flowers and pew bows to make?:p :p Are you decorating the Benz, BTW?

Botnst · #8 08-28-2003, 04:38 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by rickg
There's going to be a glut of digi-cameras on Ebay now!!

For goodness sake, DON'T OPEN THE USED CAMERA! All of that extracted color will burst free like some mad "Wizard of Oz" colorizer and you'd get doused with sequestered, high-density technicolor hues. I don't know how much unplanned pimentation a man could take before succumbing. I shudder to imagine. Death by pastel.

Botnst

rickg · #9 08-28-2003, 04:44 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Botnst
For goodness sake, DON'T OPEN THE USED CAMERA! All of that extracted color will burst free like some mad "Wizard of Oz" colorizer and you'd get doused with sequestered, high-density technicolor hues. I don't know how much unplanned pimentation a man could take before succumbing. I shudder to imagine. Death by pastel.

Botnst

LMAO!

Hey! There's an opportunity. Start a black market on refurbished color extracted from all the discarded digital cameras. It'd be the 60's all over again

rickg · #10 08-28-2003, 04:46 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by jassz
Rick, how do you have time for milarky? Don't you have a houseful of annoying guests using all the hot water? Tissue flowers and pew bows to make?:p :p Are you decorating the Benz, BTW?

LOL!
No, not decorating the Benz(hmm, but maybe.......)
But I was going to try and get my friend with the old Caddie hearse to show up at my daughters' wedding. But he can't make it that weekend. Too bad!

Oh, and I'm doing this at work. Once I get home, all the fun goes away

#11 08-31-2003, 10:19 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by rickg
And this newsflash just in...

"The eventual result will be that not only is there a net loss of functional
matter in the universe, but what is left will be less colorful, less vibrant,"

As long as we have photoshop any lost color or vibrancy can be restored. I would not worry about any color loss or living in a colorless world.:p

#12 08-31-2003, 11:00 AM

OMG it looks like we have to use film again

I think the funny part is Kodak just might try something like this.

kerry · #13 08-31-2003, 11:53 AM

According to Galileo and Locke, (and ignoring Berkeley for the moment), color is not a component of the 'real' world anyway. It is a secondary quality dependent on consciousness for its existence.

JCE · #14 08-31-2003, 12:31 PM

One consequence to this electron stripping is that our eyes will adapt and we will see further into the less-used portions of the electromagnetic spectrum, much as honeybees see into the ultraviolet regions and thus see flowers in different colors and patterns than do humans. The real danger, however, is not the loss of color.

This electron drain will result in a wavelength shift such that as our eyes adapt we will see further into the RF region of the electromagnetic spectrum. Eventually 2.4GHz telephones, cell phones, and Starbuck's WiFi hot spots will become so intense to our vision that they will blot out details of all other objects in their area. Car phones will dazzle the eyes of nearby drivers, causing accidents. Ultimately, our eyes will become so sensitive to RF that the microwave background residual to the 'Big Bang' will turn night into day, and we will become a world of insomniacs. Worse still, we will not need television sets, but will directly perceive network TV in our eyes - and it can't be turned off. At that point civilization will end in a wave of mass suicide.

jassz · #15 08-31-2003, 01:33 PM

Quote:

At that point civilization will end in a wave of mass suicide.

What a shame we won't be able to get a picture of that. :p