Regardless of any idiocy on the buyer's part, you

1. don't have any way to compel him to pay your listing fees and
2. don't have any way to prevent him from leaving negative feedback.

What you CAN do - and will have to do if you want eBay to refund your final value fee - is go through the "unpaid item" process.

You could, if you wish, ask the buyer if he'd be willing to forgo feedback altogether (strictly voluntary), with you simply eating your listing fees, and then go through the unpaid item process to get your final value fee refunded.

You could also go through the unpaid item process without his cooperation, and still get your final value fee refunded. Sad to say, though, as long as he responds to the dispute, a non-paying bidder still gets to leave feedback if he wishes.