Having played “therapist” to countless Needy women who “Recently Broke Up With their Boyfriends,” here is my two cents:
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Originally Posted by frosty
Quite truthfully, I didn't really pay close attention to every thing said but it was something to the effect of I recently broke up with my boyfriend...
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RED FLAG. She is missing her boyfriend and you can fill the void … until they get back together.
Quote:
Originally Posted by frosty
I'm somewhat floored by this msg and don't know what to make of it, and I'm not quite sure why--or maybe I do know.
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Most men are floored when women flip the script and become aggressive pursuers. Don’t be floored or flattered; be cautious. This came out of nowhere, and she has an agenda, with you as her unwitting “tool.”
Quote:
Originally Posted by frosty
Here's the thing. I've not called her back and don't want to yet.
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Excellent. Keep playing it cool, and call when/if you are comfortable doing so. She essentially has forced your hand, and you need to maintain control (over your reaction).
Quote:
Originally Posted by frosty
I've never really taken an interest in her…
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And please don’t conjure up interest where none previously existed, or else this is what will happen:
You will become emotionally evolved, begin perceiving and treating her like a serious girlfriend, and then one day she will announce that she and her boyfriend are getting back together, leaving your injured and feeling used.
Note: If they recently broke up, they are likely still together, since “recently” is womanese for “yesterday.”
She was attracted to you because you were going about your life, oblivious to her. If you suddenly turn into an eager little puppy, delighted with the attention she has tossed at you, her attraction will decline rapidly. Once you become attainable, she will no longer want you.
Maintain your stature and allow the euphoria and surprise to boil off, before following up (or not) with her. A short acknowledgement of her call – “hi, got your message, let’s talk soon” -- is an OK courtesy, but try to do it when you know the call will roll to voice mail so you don’t get dragged into a conversation/potential therapy session (focused on her silly boyfriend).
It is too soon after her breakup for her to be a serious romantic contender. It is possible, but not probable, that she wants you as a friend. But it is far more likely that she wants you to listen to an endless rehash of her relationship. After giving her insights into various issues, from a a male perspective, she will use what she has learned to repair things with her “ex,” leaving you wondering what the f**k just happened.