My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning, can you believe that 2:30am?!
Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes.

The Grim Reaper came for me last night, and I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner.
F*ck me, talk about Dyson with death.


Did you hear about the fat alcoholic transvestite?
All he wanted to do was eat, drink and be Mary.

My girlfriend thinks that I’m a stalker.
Well, she’s not exactly my girlfriend yet.

I woke up last night to find the ghost of Gloria Gaynor standing at the foot of my bed.

At first I was afraid.......then I was petrified.


What’s the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman?
One’s a superhero and the other is an instruction.



Hi mate i don't want you to panic but I’m texting you from

the casualty. Turns out the new Dyson Ball cleaner isn't what i thought it was.

__________________
Grumpy Old Diesel Owners Club group

I no longer question authority, I annoy authority. More effect, less effort....

1967 230-6 auto parts car. rust bucket.
1980 300D now parts car 800k miles
1984 300D 500k miles
1987 250td 160k miles English import
2001 jeep turbo diesel 130k miles
1998 jeep tdi ~ followed me home. Needs a turbo.
1968 Ford F750 truck. 6-354 diesel conversion.
Other toys ~J.D.,Cat & GM ~ mainly earth moving