It certainly appears that a proper calibration is decidedly not fun to do but it is probably possible to unplug the weight sensors entirely and feed the circuit with whatever - resistance or voltage ? - that will satisfy the computer that all is well with the seat and an adult is sitting in it. I'm surprised that someone hasn't come up with it.
Actually, thinking about it, I just did a search and someone did! What do you think of this as a solution:
https://shop.blshop24.com/en_US/p/Emulator-for-E-Class-W211-4-wired-mat-Mercedes-WSS/107
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