PeachParts Mercedes-Benz Forum - View Single Post - Dr in the house? This happened to anyone here? Need help with elbow

pcmaher · #7 07-29-2004, 09:13 AM

CAUTION...the following may not be suitable for younger or more sensitive readers...:-)

A guy has a sore elbow, and he think's it's from playing tennis. He's pretty sure about his self-diagnosis, but to be safe he sees a doctor. As he walks through the lobby of the doctor's building, he see a vending machine in a dark corner that claims to diagnose your medical problems for 50 cents. He chuckles, shakes his head, and continues on to the doctor office. He sees the doctor, and explains what his problem is. The doctor diagnosis his condition in 15 seconds as tennis elbow, that he should stop playing for two weeks and take Motrin. He is the handed a bill for $200. The man is upset about this, and leaves the office grumbling. As he leaves the building, he spots that vending machine again. He figures, what the hell, he'll give it a try. He places 50 cents into the machine, and out pops a specimen cup and a piece of paper telling him to provide a urine sample. He is to pour the sample back into the machine for diagnosis. He takes the cup to a bathroom, pees in it, and pours it back into the machine. Lights blink, gears whirl, and out pops a piece of paper with the words..."You have tennis elbow. Rest for two weeks, and take Motrin". The man is amazed! Now he's even more upset that he had to pay the doctor $200 when this machine could have done the same diagnosis for 50 cents! He decides to really test the machine. The man goes home that evening, and rigs his toilet to not flush. His wife goes into the bathroom, and comes out complaining the toilet isn't working. He goes in to "fix it", and grabs a urine sample from the toilet. He does the same thing for his daughter. He then puts in a stool sample from his dog, and for good measure, he j**ks off into the cup. The next day he takes this concoction back to the vending machine. He puts 50 cents in, and out pops the specimen cup. He pours in his concoction, and the machine starts to shake, lights are flashing, gears are really whiring, and some smoke comes out the back. After minutes of this, the machine finally stops. The man thinks he broke the machine, but finally the diagnosis comes out on a long piece of paper...Your wife has VD, Your daughter is pregnant, your dog has intestinal worms, and if you don't stop j**rking off, you'll never get rid of that tennis elbow!