A lady friend of mine has lost 22 pounds, gone into a deep depression with anxiety attacks and sleeps badly after being rear ended last fall and suffering lower back damage and pain. She needs muscle relaxants and painkillers which dont help the issue! She also has nightmares and when I lost saw her, she looked very sick and frail.
I have a few collateral points to raise. When it comes to mental, physical and spiritual toughness there is no difference between men and women.
I've clumsily trashed two cars, one my 300D which was squeezed like a stepped on soda can, and escaped without injury or emotional trauma, as well as fallen off a roof unconscious.
Believe me I am no Iron colonel, I have my equally terrifying or even more terrifying feelings on other issues, and I've had nightmares and fears when it comes to my job, my job performance, approaching 50 and losing my loved ones or being incarcerated ( Could you imagine being locked up? No tools, no creative outlet, no 300D to work on.)
Have you been in a serious accident? How did you feel afterwards?

On September 4, 2001, my dad was driving me to school in his 1996 Cadillac Sedan DeVille, and we were t-boned on the passenger's side by a Nissan pickup that he didn't see. No windows broke, no airbags deployed, but the frame was bent and B-pillar pushed in quite a bit so it was totalled. I wasn't hurt, though I was gripping the door handle at the time of impact, so I had a little wrist pain, nothing major, but I had it checked out by the doctor just in case. When I started driving a few months later, I found myself taking a longer time than usual to make left turns at unsignaled intersections. I know now there were clear points back then when I could cross the opposing lane(s) of traffic safely, but I was still a little nerved about the accident and didn't cross unless the opposing side's vehicles were quite a bit away, no wait, make that FAR, or until all the traffic cleared. I've since overcome that though.

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'81 MB 300SD, '82 MB 300D Turbo (sold/RIP), '04 Lincoln Town Car Ultimate

Sooner or later every car falls apart, ours does it later!
-German Narrator in a MB Promotion Film about the then brand new W123.

It can be traumatising, depends on lots of factors though.

I wrecked a lot of cars when I was young and invulnerable, one of them being a Triumph GT6 with 1200miles on it, I had the car for 27hours, ... lost control in the rain and hit a utility pole (cracked) and a building (moved one wall), totalled the car but my passenger and I escaped without injury (somehow), he claims he saw 80mph on the speedo when we looped it. Damn lucky. I couldn't take a curve in the rain at speed for a long time, and even longer before I could ride passenger in the rain on a curve at speed (years).

Much later in life I was unlucky enough to have my family in the car when a drunk lost control and went airborn coming towards me, nothing I could do but stop and hope he would miss me, he didn't. My 4-year-old was sitting behind me and got the worse injuries, made me really emotional talking about it for at least a year afterwords, can't imagine how tough it would be to have someone die whether at-fault or otherwise, hope I never do.

Interesting to note that this was the mid-90s, I had bought for a family car an E-150 conversion van, with custom seating to protect for side impact, Ford was the only body-on-frame van in the '90s and the only double-wall-steel body, bought it for impact safety. It did it's job but even with its frame strength it was pretzeled and totaled, only 2years old. Ironically, my car, a '91 300TE 4matic which I bought because I considered it the safest station-wagon in the world (active and passive safety) no longer made me comfortable after the collision, too low and lightweight, sold it. Difficult to consider the frame-height and mass of a full-size truck/suburban type hitting your car in the door, but it happens. I bought a 40,000lb BlueBird Wanderlodge motorhome, figured the next drunk that pulls out in front of me is a bug on the windshield.

When I was young, it scared me, when I was older, it changed when and what I drive. I seldom take the family out late in the evening on Saturdays. It changes you permanently. Even more so when you're not at fault, makes you realize that at any moment it might be your "time".

- Jeff Miller
190DT

I rolled my 69 bug 3 months after I spent 9+ months restoring it.

I was obviously emotionally upset but the corner that bit me has since been throughly "covered" to take care of any trama that might have formed.

At the time, I didn't even want to drive anymore, but the reason I didn't want to was becuase insurace basically tears off your head and feasts on your spine the second that anything happens.

I've found that I remain very calm, composed, and have yet to ever simply "lock up" after an accident or serious injury. This is probably a good thing because when out on Search and Rescue missions, you often find things that will seriously trouble people who cannot compose themselves.

When the bug rolled, eyes open, hands on the wheel, maintained I shut the key off as the car was rolling over on its back while I was looking at grass. My passenger just covered his face and was really shook up for the next few months. Even riding with me in a car to this day bothers him a little. I don't think I would be happy with myself if I froze up or reacted in a bad way to things that might throw most people into trama.

It just isn't how I work...however MANY people do suffer serious damage mentally and emotionally with any form of serious incident...see in SAR all the time.

Interesting you should mention that Brandon. To me, the trauma was delayed, whip into damage control at first, calling emergency crew, checking vitals, slowing bleeding, spending ten hours in the emergency room with my daughter getting stitches, CT-scans, neurological testing, etc., it isn't until days later when everything calms down and the emotional toll is taken. It's easy to be calm when there's work to be done, later when you reflect on it all is where the "holy ****" starts.

Been there enough times at other people's accidents, crashed a couple myself, it's when there's nothing that you can do to prevent it that you struggle with how fragile life is.

- Jeff Miller
190DT

I felt fine right after my car was totaled, except for being extremely upset that all my hard work for the last six months had been shot to hell by some woman that couldn't manage to keep her eyes off of the flashing police lights and on me where they should have been. I thought I was fine, and this was right before Thanksgiving, but I still catch myself wincing and bracing for impact whenever I'm stopped and I see someone slowing down behind me. I mean it really works me up. My heart starts beating quicker and if they're really coming on I'll break out into a sweat. So yeah I guess you could say its made me a little gunshy but I don't know if I'd call that trauma. Maybe slightly.

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Seth

1984 300D 225K
1985 300D Donor body
1985 300D Turbo 165K. Totaled. Donor Engine. It runs!!!
1980 300SD 311K My New Baby.
1979 BMW 633csi 62K+++? Dead odo

You come up with some funny off topic posts.

But I'll add to this.

I was driving my Parents 928S German Imported Porche up the road from my dads work to our house. There was a new punched through road that ran perpendicular to the main road back to our house. I was cruisng up the hill at about 30 when a car caught some air on the up hill and shot across running the stop sign. He must have been doing 50+. I slammed on the brakes and he basically flew right over top of my front bumper. I waited there in disbelief at what just happened as another car slammed on its breaks comming to a sideways halt just in front of me. A bunch of skinheads flipped me off then kept on going.

This was a very lucky day as I was just seconds away from stepping on the gas, just because the car was a powerhouse. I could peel the rubber on the tires on a wet day all the way to 4th gear. On a Dry day it would snap your neck back and bounce off the ground left to right.

Anyway about an hour later we saw both cars pulled over. Apperently the first car had shot at the second car and they were chasing them to keep an eye on them and call the cops on them. My dad about beat their A$$es before the cop stopped him.

Every single time I travel back home and go down that road I can feel my blood pressure rise and I slow way down and hold my breath as I cut across. It is stupid really as the potential of getting hit there is just as much as anywere else but still it has the same effect.

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76 300D 130K "Stella" (Sold )
74 240D 299K (Donated to Highschool For Senior Project WVO)
83 300TDT 290K (My one and only)
Sanford, NC

After bending up a 914 about 20 years ago, due to hydroplaning and spinning off the road in the rain, I was overly careful driving in the wet for a few months. I've had a few interesting close calls on motorcycles over the years that tended to focus my attention for a while. However, I've always gotten back to my "normal" relaxed driving/riding after a little while. I'm just not going to waste time worrying about stuff that's not in my control.

I think a big part of her trouble might be her new to her chronic lower back pain. Adjusting to being in constant pain like I am can change some people. No one who has not experienced severe back pain can really understand how devastating it can really be. She can look into joining a pain support group for people in chronic pain in her area. I fell 35 feet and I landed on a tree stump. I dislocated my spine permanently at T-10 and suffered multiple Lumbar burst fractures of my tired vertabrae. To this day I have trouble at friend's houses when they go out on a balcony at parties to talk. I can and do walk out there but I am quite uncomfortable for a minute or two until I adjust to it each time. I have had some amazing car wrecks over the years. One at enough speed when the steering snapped on my 1971 T-Bird to put the jack that was secured under the spare tire through the rear 1/4 panel. The car folded the trunk inwards to the door area neatly. I have no problems in cars since with fears of accidents, but heights are no longer my friend. I am OK on airplanes so go figure? She can do a search, or you can help her out and locate for her a pain support group in her area. She needs to talk to other people so she learns she is not alone. In the USA the suicide rate for people in chronic pain who do not get adequate pain relief is really high. Try to nudge her to at least sit in on one support group meeting if she is willing to try that. She needs to learn that she is not all alone. Good luck! John

I've been rearended (under 20mph so no damage to my car....the infiniti that hit me needed a new plastic front and bumper.... ) I was also sideswiped by a nut job/drunk/druggie, one of those, it was a hit and run. Due to these I also have the "look behind me as people slow down" paranoia, and I pay extra attention to everything happening in general, it pays off, I've probably avoided 4-5 near collisions from lunatics out there who don't know how to drive.

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-diesel is not just a fuel, its a way of life-
'15 GLK250 Bluetec 118k - mine - (OC-123,800)
'17 Metris(VITO!) - 37k - wifes (OC-41k)
'09 Sprinter 3500 Winnebago View - 62k (OC - 67k)
'13 ML350 Bluetec - 95k - dad's (OC-98k)
'01 SL500 - 103k(km) - dad's (OC-110,000km)
'16 E400 4matic Sedan - 148k - Brothers (OC-155k)

I got T-boned in my 99 C280. The girl was doing 55 or better since it was a 55 mph road. In my case, the seat width was reduced to about 12 inches. I had a concussion, cracked ribs, stable sacreal fracture, stable semi-pubic remi fracture and a little blood in the urine. I was brought to Ft Adkinson Memorail and they dumb PA said I had a strained hip without doing any tests. Wife told me to STFU and check in to the hospital she works at where they found all these breaks.

To answer your question, NO!

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01 Ford Excursion Powerstroke
99 E300 Turbodiesel
91 Vette with 383 motor
05 Polaris Sportsman 800 EFI
06 Polaris Sportsman 500 EFI
03 SeaDoo GTX SC Red
03 SeaDoo GTX SC Yellow
04 Tailgator 21 ft Toy Hauler
11 Harley Davidson 883 SuperLow

I would think that if someone has after effects THAT dramatic and severe that the person is either mentally weak in the first place or effected by some serious injuries and/or the drugs that are used to treat those injuries.

My daughter and I raced Go Karts when she was a teenager and she was clearly the best and fastest driver out there. She had a few crashes, but just shook them off and kept on winning. It was really fun to see her so dominant in a male dominated sport.

Anyway she then rolled her little Ranger pickup and a year or two after that had a large tractor turn in front of her that was almost a head on crash. She was lucky to survive both of them. The first was due to crazy teenage wildness, while the second was not her fault at all, the guy driving the tractor was impaired.

Last fall I took my Corvette over near where she lives for she and I to autocross. I was REALLY surprised when she didn't want to drive. I thought that she would jump at the chance. I was also surprised when it took a lot of persuasion to get her to ride with me even with her helmet on. Aftewards she said that it scared her because of the wreck.

Her wreck(s) did not effect her every day life, she is working and going to college and doing great, but she is sure not anxious to go fast in a car anymore.

Have a great day,

I was in a bad one last July due to a bad right side tie rod; got sucked into the back of a semi-trailer with the semi going about 20mph faster than me. I lost consciousness briefly and have no idea how I got the car parked on the shoulder of the Interstate. Yes, I can say I was traumatized for a day or so, but I just had to let it go to experience and never drive with a known problem. One just has to buckle back up and return to relaxed but vigilant driving, especially defensive driving. Walk or drive is what it come's down to. I was also in a headon with a bunch of drunk kids in 1992; no seat belt, put my head through the windshield then was thrown from the truck (with my engine in the front seat). Like I say, learn and get over it or quit driving. It's a harsh choice, but one has to learn and then deal with the hand your dealt.

Or is faking it to get a few bucks from insurance companies.

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01 Ford Excursion Powerstroke
99 E300 Turbodiesel
91 Vette with 383 motor
05 Polaris Sportsman 800 EFI
06 Polaris Sportsman 500 EFI
03 SeaDoo GTX SC Red
03 SeaDoo GTX SC Yellow
04 Tailgator 21 ft Toy Hauler
11 Harley Davidson 883 SuperLow

Absolutely. This can be very, very hard to understand if you've never been in the situation. I developed a bizarre case of neuritis while a junior in college, and after seeing 20+ doctors and specialists no one fix it or even come up with a way to stop or reduce the pain, not even temporarily. When you have a neural pain that stabs at you 24/7 and you don't know if it will ever stop, it is very, very hard emotionally. I was not in any traumatic accident or any sort ... the problem came on out of nowhere while I was training for cross country running preseason (as such, it was treated as tendonitis despite my telling the doctors that I knew it wasn't ... took them half a year to figure out it wasn't). It stinks to have any injury or pain, but when it's unstoppable, unpredictable and unexplainable, it can really tear apart your mind and heart. I was lucky ... mine has subsided to the point that I don't much notice it anymore. The doctors gave up on me and told me there was a good chance it would never go away, and the only thing I could do was learn to live with it ... I took the handicapped sticker off my car and starting running again. After three years, it has faded enough that what is left I can get used to it. A lot of people aren't so fortunate as to have it go away after three years, and I cannot imagine how hard it must be when you have something like that for 10, 20 years.

At any rate, I would say if your friend has a low-back injury, it isn't the mental trauma of the accident that's getting to her ... it's the mental trauma of a nerve injury.

And re: the men/women issue, I would contest that neither deals with it any better than the other. Women tend to have a higher pain threshold (i.e., they are genetically built to tolerate more pain, probably because of childbirth), but that doesn't really mean anything as far as mental unflappability goes. I know both genders can be rattled by something like an auto accident, a crime or war combat.

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1987 300D, arctic white/palomino--314,000 miles
1978 240D 4-speed, Euro Delivery, light ivory/bamboo--370,000 miles
2005 Jeep Liberty CRD Limited, light khaki/slate--140,000 miles
2018 Chevy Cruze diesel, 6-speed manual, satin steel metallic/kalahari--19,000 miles
1982 Peugeot 505 diesel, 4-speed manual, blue/blue, 130,000 miles
1995 S320, black/parchment--34,000 miles (Dad's car)