Absolutely. This can be very, very hard to understand if you've never been in the situation. I developed a bizarre case of neuritis while a junior in college, and after seeing 20+ doctors and specialists no one fix it or even come up with a way to stop or reduce the pain, not even temporarily. When you have a neural pain that stabs at you 24/7 and you don't know if it will ever stop, it is very, very hard emotionally. I was not in any traumatic accident or any sort ... the problem came on out of nowhere while I was training for cross country running preseason (as such, it was treated as tendonitis despite my telling the doctors that I knew it wasn't ... took them half a year to figure out it wasn't). It stinks to have any injury or pain, but when it's unstoppable, unpredictable and unexplainable, it can really tear apart your mind and heart. I was lucky ... mine has subsided to the point that I don't much notice it anymore. The doctors gave up on me and told me there was a good chance it would never go away, and the only thing I could do was learn to live with it ... I took the handicapped sticker off my car and starting running again. After three years, it has faded enough that what is left I can get used to it. A lot of people aren't so fortunate as to have it go away after three years, and I cannot imagine how hard it must be when you have something like that for 10, 20 years.

At any rate, I would say if your friend has a low-back injury, it isn't the mental trauma of the accident that's getting to her ... it's the mental trauma of a nerve injury.

And re: the men/women issue, I would contest that neither deals with it any better than the other. Women tend to have a higher pain threshold (i.e., they are genetically built to tolerate more pain, probably because of childbirth), but that doesn't really mean anything as far as mental unflappability goes. I know both genders can be rattled by something like an auto accident, a crime or war combat.

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1987 300D, arctic white/palomino--314,000 miles
1978 240D 4-speed, Euro Delivery, light ivory/bamboo--370,000 miles
2005 Jeep Liberty CRD Limited, light khaki/slate--140,000 miles
2018 Chevy Cruze diesel, 6-speed manual, satin steel metallic/kalahari--19,000 miles
1982 Peugeot 505 diesel, 4-speed manual, blue/blue, 130,000 miles
1995 S320, black/parchment--34,000 miles (Dad's car)

I have been lucky not getting hurt, despite doing a lot of dangerous things. That doesnt amke me brave, that makes me STOOPID!

Last week I was at the dentist getting work done. So much for any theory about having a higher pain threshold or being macho. Pain can be very Painful, so maybe I should thank the Lord he's been so kind to me...

I would think that if someone has after effects THAT dramatic and severe that the person is either mentally weak in the first place or effected by some serious injuries and/or the drugs that are used to treat those injuries.

My daughter and I raced Go Karts when she was a teenager and she was clearly the best and fastest driver out there. She had a few crashes, but just shook them off and kept on winning. It was really fun to see her so dominant in a male dominated sport.

Anyway she then rolled her little Ranger pickup and a year or two after that had a large tractor turn in front of her that was almost a head on crash. She was lucky to survive both of them. The first was due to crazy teenage wildness, while the second was not her fault at all, the guy driving the tractor was impaired.

Last fall I took my Corvette over near where she lives for she and I to autocross. I was REALLY surprised when she didn't want to drive. I thought that she would jump at the chance. I was also surprised when it took a lot of persuasion to get her to ride with me even with her helmet on. Aftewards she said that it scared her because of the wreck.

Her wreck(s) did not effect her every day life, she is working and going to college and doing great, but she is sure not anxious to go fast in a car anymore.

Have a great day,

I was in a bad one last July due to a bad right side tie rod; got sucked into the back of a semi-trailer with the semi going about 20mph faster than me. I lost consciousness briefly and have no idea how I got the car parked on the shoulder of the Interstate. Yes, I can say I was traumatized for a day or so, but I just had to let it go to experience and never drive with a known problem. One just has to buckle back up and return to relaxed but vigilant driving, especially defensive driving. Walk or drive is what it come's down to. I was also in a headon with a bunch of drunk kids in 1992; no seat belt, put my head through the windshield then was thrown from the truck (with my engine in the front seat). Like I say, learn and get over it or quit driving. It's a harsh choice, but one has to learn and then deal with the hand your dealt.

Or is faking it to get a few bucks from insurance companies.

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01 Ford Excursion Powerstroke
99 E300 Turbodiesel
91 Vette with 383 motor
05 Polaris Sportsman 800 EFI
06 Polaris Sportsman 500 EFI
03 SeaDoo GTX SC Red
03 SeaDoo GTX SC Yellow
04 Tailgator 21 ft Toy Hauler
11 Harley Davidson 883 SuperLow

Here is something to realize. You may be able to bite the bullet but the pain is still there. Even when you sleep, it is there and that means you don't get quality rest. That leads to slower healing. Pain needs to be managed so the patient can get rest. When I had a broken leg, there was no amount of humour that could make the pain go away. First night I was up all night and felt crummy the next day. Went to the doctor to hear what I already know. Get surgery to fix it and some pain meds. Slept better the next night and the night after that. Went to surgery and fixed the leg. Took so long because I wanted a certain doctor and not the doctor that they assigned to fix it. I don't know about you but when I am in pain, I cannot rest and I feel irritable which in turn makes me feel worse and more uncomfortable.

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01 Ford Excursion Powerstroke
99 E300 Turbodiesel
91 Vette with 383 motor
05 Polaris Sportsman 800 EFI
06 Polaris Sportsman 500 EFI
03 SeaDoo GTX SC Red
03 SeaDoo GTX SC Yellow
04 Tailgator 21 ft Toy Hauler
11 Harley Davidson 883 SuperLow

I'm not a doctor....but I have known prolonged pain and it will cripple your body AND your mind. It hurts to move, so you don't. Then you feel crappy about being a lazy lay-around couch spud. The meds for pain help the body deal with pain but do nothing for the head game! Depression sets in and you just keep spinning on downhill.

My dear old Dad started coming by early in the mornings and cranking my arse outta that bed and throwing out the pain pills. We walked and talked...just minutes at first, then more and more, finally we were walking for hours. FINALLY, my head popped back out into the daylight! It was a new lease on life. I try to exercise everyday now, it just makes me feel better....so does Dad, same reason.

Your friend may need a friend to get her jump started again. See if you can get her body moving, then her mind will follow. In the end, it is her choice, get back to life or just lay there. Get her back up, get her moving, get the body working again, turn on the lights, open the curtains, throw cold water on her....be a real PITA.

Good luck.

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Mark
1983 300TD Wagon
Even a broken watch is right twice a day