|
|
|
#1
|
|||
|
|||
Millions of children relieved.
Millions of unbaptized children around the world expressed relief today when it was learned that they might not have to spend eternity in limbo. They joined their medieval counterparts who had been overjoyed when their eternal abode had been switched from hell to limbo. A few disgruntled young uns are still lobbying for upgraded rooms at the Holiday Inn while the Grey Panthers registered an age discrimination claim with the Vatican. Hindus for Eternal Justice filed their own Amicus Curae brief in Rome.
US Supreme Court Justices, Scalia, Thomas and Roberts issued a joint press release decrying the decision. "If women think their unborn children won't be going to limbo, it will simply encourage more abortions." http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/headline/world/4735415.html
__________________
1977 300d 70k--sold 08 1985 300TD 185k+ 1984 307d 126k--sold 8/03 1985 409d 65k--sold 06 1984 300SD 315k--daughter's car 1979 300SD 122k--sold 2/11 1999 Fuso FG Expedition Camper 1993 GMC Sierra 6.5 TD 4x4 1982 Bluebird Wanderlodge CAT 3208--Sold 2/13 Last edited by kerry; 04-21-2007 at 03:08 PM. |
#2
|
|||
|
|||
This just in from the press office of the King of Kings in the New Jerusalem:
Mr. Ratzinger failed to coordinate with the office of economic planning before announcing the new policy. In addition he has failed to live up to the requirement for economic restraint to which he agreed before being appointed to his office. As anyone who has taken Celestial Economics 101 knows, the costs of keeping a soul in heaven far exceed the costs of keeping a soul in heaven. Any changes in economic planning related to future predictions of residents of each need to be planned centuries in advance. The announcement is particularly unfortunate given the recent pressures placed on the heavenly administration by widespread awareness that Muslim males are being offered 72 virgins. Even the Great Doctor himself appealed his benefits to the standing committee on Heavenly Security, arguing that he should have access to a few virgins, if not the whole 72. The committee ruled in his favor, stating that the benefit was enacted in 647, prior to the Great Doctor's birth, therefore making him eligible. On the other hand, they turned down Mr. Augustine's appeal arguing that the celibacy policy was still firmly in effect when he passed on to his eternal reward. These decisions open the possibility that the Omnipotent one might enter into negotiations with Mr. Ratzinger, allowing a limited number of unbaptized girls into heaven while keeping the requirement that unbaptized boys enter into limbo. The administration expects serious resistance to this proposal from the Boston Archdiocese.
__________________
1977 300d 70k--sold 08 1985 300TD 185k+ 1984 307d 126k--sold 8/03 1985 409d 65k--sold 06 1984 300SD 315k--daughter's car 1979 300SD 122k--sold 2/11 1999 Fuso FG Expedition Camper 1993 GMC Sierra 6.5 TD 4x4 1982 Bluebird Wanderlodge CAT 3208--Sold 2/13 |
#3
|
|||
|
|||
I imagine the entertainment directors on Caribbean cruise ships are struggling to decide how to replace the limbo dance and what to do with the now unneeded wood limbo sticks.
Mark |
Bookmarks |
|
|