Math & science jokes
 

Newton

Once all the scientists die and go to heaven. They decide to play hide-n-seek

Unfortunately Einstein
is the one who has the den...........He is supposed to count up to 100...and then start searching.....


Everyone starts hiding except Newton.........

Newton just draws a square of 1 meter and stands in it right in front of Einstein.

Einstein's counting 1,2,3......97,98,99.....100........ He opens his eyes and finds Newton standing in front........

Einstein says " newton's out..newton's out....."

Newton denies and says "I am not out........I am not Newton......"

All the scientists come out to see how he proves that he is not Newton.

Newton says "I am standing in an area of 1 sq meter..... That makes me Newton per square meter...... Since one Newton per square meter is one Pascal, I'm Pascal, Therefore Pascal is OUT.......!
************

Mathemetician: Device for turning laughter into boredom.

Not quite, Kuan.

"A device for turning coffee into theorems." These days, however, I spend my time turning coffee into computer programs.

Bot,
That has GOT to be the WORST joke I have ever heard...I dont fwd things a lot but I am gonna set the internet on FIRE with that one....

:) Thank you =)


-John

I can imgaine B at the office telling jokes like:

What did the Rhus radicans say to the Toxicodendron diversilobum?

You think he's a Quercus but I folio every time.

Always got an Acer up your sleeve, no need to root around for a fungi...

See what I mean? I rest my case.

You would have something here, had your original been funny. As it is, this is a null hypothesis.

I rest *my* case.

Mathmaticians can't spell either. That's the first time I've seen "dull" spelled like that.

It's your own hypothesis which is null. Do you also imply that it is "dull?"

I didn't think so.

Uh hum, that was self referential. You said "this is a null hypothesis."

Friend of mine, a mathematician, decides he wants to open a business. He consults me of course. Turns out he wants to open a torus shoppe.

While it's hard to fathom that you would seriously believe that I was talking about my own hypothesis, I guess it takes all kinds.

Unless of course, you're intentionally being dense. While this is very likely the case, I don't think you were being very entertaining in this response or in the original. I can't speak for others, clearly.

Gosh Matt you really don't have a sense of humor. Yes it was only vaguely self referential. Had it been clearly self referential it would have been something like

1) This hypothesis is null

However, your use of the subjunctive conditional before concluding that "this," is a null hypothesis, implies that the "this" in the latter part of your post refers to the previous conditional which makes the whole thing self contradictory.

Say what you want. I'm moving on. It's gone past the humor stage.