Here!

Countless penny-saving tips and tricks to keep your Mercedes at the pinnacle of its glory. Non-stop action and hedonist debauchery! Overwhelming depths of knowledge and insight. Doctors without borders!!! Senseless humor, unprecedented political nonchalance, Kevin Bacon, Sydney Poitier and that chic from Aliens. Everything your Mercedes NEEDS to live the final years of its drawn-out existence. Did I mention Kavorkian too!! This is not a test, it is an official announcement brought to you by citizens of BOOOOMB!


Membership is $375 and is TOTALLY REFUNDABLE!!*


JOIN TODAY!!!!


..or whenever I answer your message.





*depending on date of circumcision and beginning on the first day of ownership of your vehicle. From that point subtract six months time, add it to your birthday divided by number of siblings that each of your parents had. If you're adopted, you can't join, sorry thats the rules. Refunds are only granted on the success of a very elaborate Ponzi scheme in which all members must initiate ten members per week to sustain the grotesque amounts of partying and cocaine that being a member of BOOOOMB requires. However, the one way to totally get your refund is to sell your car to some poor, unsuspecting schmuck or with proof of donation to the American Kidney foundation. Sorry, cancer, heart, AIDS and cerebral Paulsy DO NOT qualify, these foundations are a total hoax.

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