Drug dealers down sizing?? - PeachParts Mercedes-Benz Forum

layback40 · #1 03-20-2010, 02:15 AM

2005 RENAULT CLIO DYNAMIQUE 16V BLUE

Time left:3d 09h (23 Mar, 201015:10:07 GMT)

Current bid:£560.00

beanmasteruk
100% Positive feedback

Item number:230451057921Item location:farnborough, Hampshire

Item specifics - Cars & Other VehiclesManufacturer: RenaultColour: BlueModel: ClioEngine Size: 1,149 cc

Attention Teenage Drug Dealers/Low Life & Oxygen Thieves

If you think you've saved enough benefit from your 4 children before your 20, this could be the answer to your prayers.

A proper bastardised, chaved up Skippy mobile if ever there was. Enhance your street cred at the local drive thru burger joint or council estate shop front no end with this utterly tacky converted little Renault Clio. Not your Gran's idea of a lift to town, granted, but a fantastic opportunity to increase 3 fold your class A drug selling ability. This is the car you need boys. The punters will flock to the window for your home grown skunk and other illegal substances. you just ain't gonna look out of place in this little beauty! Now I've made sure the tax ran out last November, so there is a big pat on your scrawny little backs already.

Dig out yer favourite unwashed "Umbro" hoodie and come cast your shifty little eyes on this. Ideal for the "Street Pharmacist" and other suitably attired twats. Your gonna need a baseball cap with this beauty, ideally one that comes with no fitting instructions. Heaven forbid you should put it on the right way. What better way to compliment your stolen Nike Air Max trainers than to be seen dangling a foot outta this pocket rocket.
Worried about the Babylon spotting ya, no need. Car comes fully equipped with proper blacked out gangster glass on the side windows. Hell, you could even fill the back up with yer ugly chav kids and knowone'd see 'em. doesn't get much better boys. Ah, but it does. It does. To show your complete and utter lack of taste and knowledge of the motor car you'll also find the ridiculous rock hard lowered suspension to your taste as well. Why not get a step closer to Gran's inheritance by offering her a lift in ya new "wheels" then taking her down the post Office flat out over the speed humps round your estate and hopefully knocking the spine out of her? Might need 2 laps but god damn them single teenage mums smoking Marlboro Lights outside the chippy will be impressed fella's. You know that they like a ride like this. Turn up the Alpine Head Unit, stick in your favourite and incomprehensible "Drum & Bass" Cd and the throbbing out the 6x9 parcel shelf will have them pregnant in no time.

To complete the proper drug dealer look, a tasteless stripe has been fitted from the front to the rear. Finished in "Air Max" white it really doesn't complement the car in any shape or form. Rather like you and your Brethren spitting on the floor constantly. Completely needless but you think it makes a statement about you. You'll also enjoy the totally pointless but ridiculously noisy after market air filter. About as helpful as a fart in an astronaut suit, but hell, you didn't get where you are today by being helpful, did you?
I'm quite sad to see the thing go really. There is nothing more pleasurable to me at 41 than to drive round in this bit of **** and look a complete prick. I'd much rather hand the opportunity to you work shy crack head council tenants any day. This little set of wheels is gonna let the other hoodies know you've made it. cocaine and skunk selling is never gonna get any easier for the lucky buyer of this car. I might have a deal on a couple of gram's of smack or coke, but ideally I'd need to get a serious drug habit before hand. Perhaps someone could help? You can pay in cash or wraps, I'm easy really. Bring along your mums credit card or one that your mate has cloned down the petrol station. If it is going to be hard cash, please ensure it is discretely hidden in a used Tesco carrier bag, and you have folded one £20 note around 4 others. Makes counting so much easier.

For any female buyer I'm offering a free Tatoo of something utterly meaninless to go in the middle of your lower back. If you haven't already got your "Tramp Stamp" that is.

If your an under-age drink driver, or under-age driver for that matter, this little beauty really isn't going to attract the attention of the local constabulary at all. you'll drift pass any patrol car effortlessly. Make sure there is at least 6 of you in the car though, Splif in hand. If your driving, have another swig from your 2 litre plastic "LIDL" brand cider as you nonchalantly flip the bird to the passing police patrol. Head off for the nearest estate for some tyre screeching fun. They ain't never gonna take you alive in this.

The car does like a good rev in the morning at any unsocial hour. Neighbours will love it and feel proud to live in the same road. don't forget to rev the pants off of it at all junctions and roundabouts as well. This really will increase the length of your manhood no end. your virginity is gonna be a thing of the past when the babes see you in this "fanny magnet". You can almost bet your last eighth of puff your gonna get laid. Hell, might even get a few STD's as well. your gonna get a proper bird with this motor.

For the disqualified driver I'll even offer to recover it from outside the local Magistrates or police station. What better way to impress the local Judicial system in one final act of defiance before collecting your ASBO?

Don't let the frivolous matter of actually holding a current, valid drivers licence and insurance put you off this bargain. A visit to your local crack house should procure some documentation from as little as fifty quid.

Nuff said, innit.

Questions and answers about this item

Q: Geeza, ave u got a Bi it naaa I's desperate. Me ***** Joolie says by dis 4 me Winston & yoos can av me up me clacker. R dem seets crusty Elp me art Geez Winston
A: I takz a cuple ofz 9 bar, not soap, cuple ov henryies n sum skunk.

Q: Badbeanyman, Ma joolie sed she moist & ungry for ya sack offa dude, eefen gonna barf & shave er booty, Wot ya got goin wiv thees biches dude?,Iff I mak it 15 passpots wud ya cloo me ya nikka nolidge? Ise stil...

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A: not be wash hin da beetch. me want it as is. i catch ya on me cellula communikatea later bro, we bang out da deal. Big up. Get me some knockia 8800 wid da pastports dude

Q: Yo ride is well dope geez, an I reckon da front seat will fit my biatch like a glove....I already got a fiver cummin' outta da benefit for me tribe o' kids dat I av some'ow managed to build but I'm sure I can...
A: 'astins massiv big showtz from do hood in da 'f'boro. keep savin dem giro's man, & work dat beetch in da seet. it um up 'ard bro. bye da wey, met ur cuz on remand down feltham. good geezer. he get bail...

Q: cuzzy, i was wonderin innit, wud u consider a swap for a bag one of my bredbins home grown plus a sick pair of kappa tracky b'z with all the popper buttons in tact? holla back one time. safe
A: juz maybe man. c ow tings go but goodupya 4 pukka deal. Real. init.

Q: Beaniedude, I is well made up but megga! Ya clito-shed is MUST, Me stretched & jacked Cat`A` Matiz just fallen off da ****n M4 after 7 wite litnins & a shooful of Meffs, Ise renda`d homless & credless wiv ma...
A: YO YO man i is genyouin gutted 4 ya, so is ma hommies. You is had well bad luc init. I is always needin pastpot man. we get a deal 2geffer. i is wantin no pics on dem docs right. me make up ma own for da crew. bustin outta...

jt20 · #2 03-20-2010, 04:16 AM

everybody's feeling the heat these days, LB.

Who would supply us with kine buds if the thugs didn't keep their overhead down....?

There's just too much at stake.