Our 5th, so far - PeachParts Mercedes-Benz Forum

ramonajim · #1 07-05-2010, 05:55 PM

Loverly brunch with Darling Wife, Dear Friend Barb and her friend from high school. Wander a bit through downtown, run into friend of Ed from way back when, visit Jennifer at the consignment store, generally have a wonderfully relaxed early afternoon.

Get home, and within 15 minutes Ed calls. "Earl's bad - he's hurting. Can't talk him into going to the emergency room, he says he's just gonna sit here in his own pi$$ and $hit and be done with it."

Earl is a sweetheart of a guy, retired Marine, lives across the street from the cottage Darling Wife and I bought for Ma and Ed. Earl drinks. A lot. Half gallon a day or more.

So Darling Wife and I toss the goons back in their crates and boogie on over to Earl's. Ed is there, Josh and Mike are there (two other neighbors). Everybody trying to talk Earl into a car or an ambulance or something so he can get checked out. Hasn't eaten in at least three days, hasn't been off the couch in at least two. Four empty vodka half's and a couple empty rum half's all within arm's reach of the couch.

Darling Wife gets Earl talking, Mike (a very young ex-Marine) gives Earl a sharp but loving lecture, I tell Earl he looks like $hit and that his skin is hanging off of him like a dead rat. I go on to say that if nothing else he ought to let us take him down to the ER to get some fluids - can tell by looking he's dehydrated.

That he grabs. Apparently safe to admit to needing help with dehydration. Half an hour later we've got him in his truck, and a caravan heading over to the hospital.

Get him checked in, waiting for a room. Dear Friend Barb comes rushing in - she saw my car in the parking lot when she was walking to the grocery store and panicked. Ed is there, Mike came along (Josh stayed behind to take care of Skipper, the dog Earl loves to hate), Darling Wife and Barb.

Darling Wife knows everybody and every process in the ER (many, many trips there with Ma and some with Ed). I've come home to free the dogs for a while and get some prep work done for the birthday party I'm throwing for Darling Wife on Wednesday.

Underneath the addiction that has become Earl is a wonderful, strong, giving, sweet man who proudly served his country because it was the right thing to do. His kids, his ex-wife, the rest of his family have written him off, apparently unable to get past the addiction. I have to assume that they're pain is too much to do more - assume that they're good folk who just don't know how to be there for him.

That and be thankful that he's got friends that don't carry that burden, people who see the real human inside and want to help. Thankful to have the chance to try and do what we can.

Darling Wife has already gathered names and numbers for the local VA hospital. Tomorrow she'll do everything possible to hand Earl the keys to help, and we'll all try to convince him to take the help that is there. Up to him in the end, all we can do is clear road blocks and encourage.

Bondavi · #2 07-05-2010, 06:02 PM

Of what? Beer or hard liquor? The former, nah, the latter, oh yeah.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ramonajim

Earl drinks. A lot. Half gallon a day or more..

ramonajim · #3 07-05-2010, 06:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bondavi

Of what? Beer or hard liquor? The former, nah, the latter, oh yeah.

Half gallon of "brown water" as Earl puts it. Rum. Recently gave up the brown water, switched to just plain water (aka vodka). Figured it was less bad.

hanno · #4 07-05-2010, 06:09 PM

Any time you wanna move to my neighborhood, you're more than welcome

.

My mom is never going to move close to us, as her neighbors/friends all look out for one another. Its a far better support group than we can ever offer.

Thanks for what you are doing for another. I firmly believe that a measure of our culture is how well we take care of those that can't take care of themselves (this doesn't include those that won't, but declare they are entitled).

jt20 · #5 07-05-2010, 06:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ramonajim

Underneath the addiction that has become Earl is a wonderful, strong, giving, sweet man who proudly served his country because it was the right thing to do. His kids, his ex-wife, the rest of his family have written him off, apparently unable to get past the addiction. I have to assume that they're pain is too much to do more - assume that they're good folk who just don't know how to be there for him.

That and be thankful that he's got friends that don't carry that burden, people who see the real human inside and want to help. Thankful to have the chance to try and do what we can.

I don't read too much in this forum.

But usually, they are your posts that incite a fundamental re-evaluation of any negative perspectives I have of human nature.... or this forum.

Thank you, and best wishes.

SwampYankee · #6 07-05-2010, 09:12 PM

It goes without saying, Jim, but I'll say it anyway. You're one helluva guy and your DW is one helluva lady. Lots of folks are lucky to have you both in their circles.

elchivito · #7 07-05-2010, 11:51 PM

I have a pal who I fully intend to find in a similar state sometime soon. All our entreaties to him are lost, but we will be there for him when he hits bottom. Bless you and best of fortune to your pal. You are a true friend.

ramonajim · #8 07-06-2010, 03:49 AM

Back from the hospital, Earl's in the ICU. Hepatitis, anemia, dehydrated.

DT's had started in earnest about the time we left. Doc said next 72 hours are gonna be tough - 20% chance he won't survive the withdrawal even with real time medical intervention. Next steps get thought about if he makes it through this one.

G-Benz · #9 07-06-2010, 12:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ramonajim

Back from the hospital, Earl's in the ICU. Hepatitis, anemia, dehydrated...

WOW! I was thinking large kidney stone...

TnBob · #10 07-06-2010, 12:13 PM

In a hospital he will not die from DT's. Hep is much more serious.

The VA has an excellent substance abuse program all he has to do it
go and be willing. Alcohol misuse is substance abuse.

ramonajim · #11 07-06-2010, 12:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TnBob

In a hospital he will not die from DT's. Hep is much more serious.

The VA has an excellent substance abuse program all he has to do it
go and be willing. Alcohol misuse is substance abuse.

Well, according to the doc in charge last night (3 ayem this morning, actually) there was a non-zero chance the DT's WOULD kill him. The number he chose to throw out was 20%.

Biggest concerns seemed to be heart related. In the 11 hours we were in the hospital with him, Earl's pulse never once dropped below 115, even while he was sleeping. Most of the time it was between 140 and 150 - saw it spike to 184 once.

The "TACHY" warning on his monitor was flashing on so frequently I quit noticing it seemed to trigger at 150 bpm). Blood pressure running 180 / 145 kind of range.

All of this is withdrawal related - this going on while he was still on the bed, and doc said getting that under control while his body/brain was adjusting to functioning without the alcohol (trying to re-establish homeostasis) was tough in many and a serious challenge in someone as long-term pickled as Earl (apparently the fact that Earl has quit multiple times actually increases the risk of having and the affects of DT's).

Earl's been through the VA program before (a 30 day in patient treatment), he's convinced that VA is now a 6 month or nothing program - which he swears he'll never do (dog. house. too long.) Darling Wife is getting the particulars on options there, and at the hospital he's in.

Looking for good news, hoping for the best, expecting something far less. Time will tell.

BobK · #12 07-07-2010, 09:15 AM

The odds are still a whole lot better for Earl than if ya'll had not stepped in for him. I hope he takes the lifeline you are handing him-I know he has to grasp it himself. Matbe a few days of sober reflection will help him make the choice. I suspect your young Marine friend may be a good influence in that direction. I met quite a few ex-Marines when I worked for the Post Office. Can't recall one I didn't like.

Dee8go · #13 07-07-2010, 11:32 AM

Earl is fortunate to have you all for neighbors.

Skid Row Joe · #14 07-07-2010, 05:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ramonajim

Darling Wife has already gathered names and numbers for the local VA hospital. Tomorrow she'll do everything possible to hand Earl the keys to help, and we'll all try to convince him to take the help that is there. Up to him in the end, all we can do is clear road blocks and encourage.

I didn't read entire thread.....responding to orig. post:

That's where Earl needs to get to. As a Vet, he's earned the right too.

When my older Brother went bananas after he left the service (Honorably discharged - 2ND Lieutenant U.S. Army) in the late '70s - the VA in Omaha, NE. took him for the better part of a year - locked away on Thorazine in their mental ward, and cleaned him (his mind) up. His was strictly mental problem(s) he never drank or took drugs. He was suicidal, was why we committed him.

Today, he's a 60 yr. old, functioning, angry, divorced from his entire first family, re-married, broke (financial-illiterate) person - 1/2 the family stays away from. The half that hangs with him is an unemployed alchy - so it goes.

Earl probably has carved out his chosen pathway in life I am thinking - he is used to his lot, you might say. Estranged family and all. He may want to continue, so don't get your hopes up too high...

Skid Row Joe · #15 07-07-2010, 05:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ramonajim

Loverly brunch with Darling Wife, Dear Friend Barb and her friend from high school. Wander a bit through downtown, run into friend of Ed from way back when, visit Jennifer at the consignment store, generally have a wonderfully relaxed early afternoon.

I also wanted to respond to this beautiful day you shared with us, Jim. Enjoyed reading very much.