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Old 03-13-2013, 11:30 AM
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I Found the Solution on Another Forum

A Divorce Agreement For America
This is so well put that I can hardly believe it is written by a law college student. Perhaps there is hope for us after all. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:










We have stuck together since the late 1950's for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.

Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a our separation agreement:

- - Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

- - We don't like re-distributive taxes so you can keep them.

- - You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.






- - Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military.

- - We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and the coal mines, and you can go with wind, solar and bio-diesel.

- - You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.

- - We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street.

- - You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens.

- - We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks.

- - We'll keep Bill O'Reilly, and Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood.

- - You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.

- - You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

- - We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.

- - You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McClane. You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.

- - We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks and oversize luxury cars. You can take every Volt and Leaf you can find.

- - You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.

- - We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem."

- - I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya" or "We Are the World".

- - We'll practice trickle-down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.

- - Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you might think about which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,
John J. Wall
Law Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin & Charlie Sheen, Barbara Streisand, & (Hanoi) Jane Fonda with you.

P.S.S. You won't have to press 1 for English when you call our country.


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Old 03-13-2013, 11:38 AM
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Sincerely,
John J. Wall
Law Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin & Charlie Sheen, Barbara Streisand, & (Hanoi) Jane Fonda with you.

A giveaway it's written by an old fart.
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Old 03-13-2013, 12:04 PM
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Hey,

I heard that on the "John Boy and Billy Show" last week, and loved it. However, I am thinking it might be too late for the conservative, God fearing minority in this country --at least we can still clutch to our guns and Bibles -- can't we ? Or, has that been banned or outlawed too ?
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Old 03-13-2013, 12:24 PM
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Here's a link to a well thought out response to your tired old forward. You won't read it of course.

A Liberal Responds to a Conservative’s “Divorce Agreement for America” | This Ruthless World
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Old 03-13-2013, 12:25 PM
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I thought that Larry, as a devout Christian, was opposed to divorce.
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Old 03-13-2013, 12:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by greazzer View Post
I am thinking it might be too late for the conservative, God fearing minority in this country?
Couldn't have said it better myself.
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Old 03-13-2013, 12:29 PM
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and it goes without saying

Quote:
Originally Posted by elchivito View Post
Couldn't have said it better myself.
It should have been somewhat obvious it was a figurative comment and not literal. Thank GOD that a majority of Americans still believe in God, but who can trust Wikipedia. Religion in the United States - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
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Old 03-13-2013, 12:48 PM
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Funny, I can hardly believe it was written by a law college student either
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Old 03-13-2013, 12:57 PM
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Why would anyone lie about being a law student?
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Old 03-13-2013, 01:38 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by elchivito View Post
Here's a link to a well thought out response to your tired old forward. You won't read it of course.

A Liberal Responds to a Conservative’s “Divorce Agreement for America” | This Ruthless World
zing! this was great.

funny excerpt-
"We’ll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right."
You can continue to believe whatever you want to believe, including that the Moon is made of green cheese and that Baby Jesus had a pet dinosaur. Your beliefs expose you as inhumane. Putting saving someone’s life with a week-long course of antibiotics in the same category as drinking Crystal champagne or bedding a high-class hooker does not shame us — it shames you. If your morality demands that an underage rape victim die on the street giving birth in the name of fetal life, and then the child must also die on the street because health care is a luxury — what can be said of such a morality? Nothing that would be printable, I think.
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Old 03-13-2013, 01:46 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MTI View Post
Why would anyone lie about being a law student?
apparently being a law student is now representative of wisdom. Would have been bettor off signed "Law Professor"
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Old 03-13-2013, 01:52 PM
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And it still goes without saying ...

Quote:
Originally Posted by elchivito View Post
Here's a link to a well thought out response to your tired old forward. You won't read it of course.

A Liberal Responds to a Conservative’s “Divorce Agreement for America” | This Ruthless World
"Well thought out response" ... LOL. You got to be kidding me. Setting aside the on-going ad hominem attacks in the "response", I guess the clever fellow who "responded" didn't quite understand either that the "divorce decree" was figurative /parody et cet. However, on a more serious note, there might not be much to fight over in the so-called divorce decree. In the course of the past four years, the U.S.A. is not perceived anymore as "the" world's superpower by a vast majority of the world's inhabitants. Second fiddle now to the Chinese. We did manage to maybe cut 2.4% in the rate of growth for the next five months, but B.O. is campaigning hard right now to stop the cuts. I wonder why? We are almost 17 trillion dollars in debt, and it's growing by leaps and bounds. So, the marital estate is for the most part "bankrupt", but if the parties want to fight over all the so-called great achievments acquired in the past four years, have at it --Won't be able to afford the alimony or child support payments to those who percieve their entitlement to the entitlements, so to speak.
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Old 03-13-2013, 01:57 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by elchivito View Post
Here's a link to a well thought out response to your tired old forward. You won't read it of course.

A Liberal Responds to a Conservative’s “Divorce Agreement for America” | This Ruthless World
Excellent!!
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Old 03-13-2013, 02:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by greazzer View Post
"Well thought out response" ... LOL. You got to be kidding me. Setting aside the on-going ad hominem attacks in the "response", I guess the clever fellow who "responded" didn't quite understand either that the "divorce decree" was figurative /parody et cet. However, on a more serious note, there might not be much to fight over in the so-called divorce decree. In the course of the past four years, the U.S.A. is not perceived anymore as "the" world's superpower by a vast majority of the world's inhabitants. Second fiddle now to the Chinese. We did manage to maybe cut 2.4% in the rate of growth for the next five months, but B.O. is campaigning hard right now to stop the cuts. I wonder why? We are almost 17 trillion dollars in debt, and it's growing by leaps and bounds. So, the marital estate is for the most part "bankrupt", but if the parties want to fight over all the so-called great achievments acquired in the past four years, have at it --Won't be able to afford the alimony or child support payments to those who percieve their entitlement to the entitlements, so to speak.
1. If you actually read it, you would know differently. He does explain this in paragraph one.

There is a pretty awful, but amusing piece of writing being sent around in chain e-mails and praised to high heaven on various conservative boards and blogs. Appearing with minor variations, it purports to be a “Divorce Agreement” for dividing the United States between conservatives and liberals. It is supposedly written by one “John J. Wall”, who may or may not be a real person and may or may not be studying law in what may or may not be an accredited U.S. law school. I’ve heard of it before, but having received it in an e-mail this weekend past, I thought I’d write a response.

2. Your response is pretty much that anyone would know its not to be taken as anything other than figuratively or as a parody. Yet people like Larry actually believe some law student wrote it. Yes, there are people in this county who blindy believe without thought or reason.

3. Amusingly, you "oh, it was just a joke" plays nicely into one of his points- another quote-
"Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete."
Ahh, time for some passive-aggressive cowardice. You write a bunch of inflammatory drivel, then pray — in the spirit of friendliness, no less — that those liberals who disagree “just hit delete”. Sorry, that’s not how it works, John. You don’t get a delete, you get a response. Freedom of speech isn’t freedom from consequences. With your professed belief in taking responsibility, I’m sure you’ll understand that.




Agree with you on the state of the country fiscally, though fixing the problem actually takes some understanding of finance, not the ability to blame 30 years of deficit spending and entitlement on the current president without the slightest notion of how interest on debt that size compounds. We are well and truly ****ed, but preventing ourselves from getting in that situation again means we actually have to look at how we got into it, not read stupid ill informed chain emails and let our pet prejudices and hatreds be stroked by like minded fools.
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Old 03-13-2013, 02:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JB3 View Post
1. If you actually read it, you would know differently. He does explain this in paragraph one.

There is a pretty awful, but amusing piece of writing being sent around in chain e-mails and praised to high heaven on various conservative boards and blogs. Appearing with minor variations, it purports to be a “Divorce Agreement” for dividing the United States between conservatives and liberals. It is supposedly written by one “John J. Wall”, who may or may not be a real person and may or may not be studying law in what may or may not be an accredited U.S. law school. I’ve heard of it before, but having received it in an e-mail this weekend past, I thought I’d write a response.

2. Your response is pretty much that anyone would know its not to be taken as anything other than figuratively or as a parody. Yet people like Larry actually believe some law student wrote it. Yes, there are people in this county who blindy believe without thought or reason.

3. Amusingly, you "oh, it was just a joke" plays nicely into one of his points- another quote-
"Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete."
Ahh, time for some passive-aggressive cowardice. You write a bunch of inflammatory drivel, then pray — in the spirit of friendliness, no less — that those liberals who disagree “just hit delete”. Sorry, that’s not how it works, John. You don’t get a delete, you get a response. Freedom of speech isn’t freedom from consequences. With your professed belief in taking responsibility, I’m sure you’ll understand that.




Agree with you on the state of the country fiscally, though fixing the problem actually takes some understanding of finance, not the ability to blame 30 years of deficit spending and entitlement on the current president without the slightest notion of how interest on debt that size compounds. We are well and truly ****ed, but preventing ourselves from getting in that situation again means we actually have to look at how we got into it, not read stupid ill informed chain emails and let our pet prejudices and hatreds be stroked by like minded fools.

LOL. The above is funny also.

And you write : Ahh, time for some passive-aggressive cowardice. You write a bunch of inflammatory drivel, then pray — in the spirit of friendliness, no less — that those liberals who disagree “just hit delete”. Sorry, that’s not how it works, John. You don’t get a delete, you get a response. Freedom of speech isn’t freedom from consequences. With your professed belief in taking responsibility, I’m sure you’ll understand that.

What are you talking about here ?

I guess if you call a duck a cow, it must be a cow. All too funny here.

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