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Weird post from another list
Courtesy of Roger Woodbury
Quote:
As some of you know, I have a friend who is a journalist who covers the
automobile scene in Europe. He was the first journalist to break the news
of the soon to be released, Porsche Cayenne SUV. (He leaked the news after
overhearing top Porsche/Audi consortium officials discussing it in the mens'
room following a special meeting of executives at Bad Hershoff, the Porsche
executive retreat facility. Anyway, the following is the text of an email
that I received from him, which is forwarded to you for your interest.
"I had an opportunity to spend a week at the Mercedes executive office, and
then attend a very festive party held in at the Mercedes VERY posh spa that
is maintained only for the very highest of Daimler-Chrysler executives and
very special guests. The subject of the weekend long soiree was the new
Mayback luxury touring car, and we on the invited list were given an
opportunity to sit in an actual Mayback interior.
After dinner on Saturday evening, I went for my usual walk on the grounds.
The facility is located at Baden-und-der-Hoffstadler am Berg, and as the
name suggests, it is very mountainous country. I went out the front door of
the hotel, and walked around the service road where I had seen delivery
lorries drive during the morning. It was nearly midnight, and I had decided
that it was time to retire, after walking up a steep slope near the rear
gate of the hotel.
As I headed back, I noticed a side road that went off at an angle, and
further up the side of the mountain. I had walked past it before, and
didn't notice it as the angle was wrong in the dark. As I approached it, I
saw headlights coming toward me. To my surprise, the headlights were those
of a short wheelbase 600 Pullman, and it made the reverse turn into the
smaller road, and continued up the hill. Naturally, my interest piqued, I
decided to follow.
About two kilometers further, the road bent sharply to the right, and
entered a flat area roughly half the size of a football field. The field
was lit with low wattage flood lights, making it appear as it would at dusk.
There were at least a dozen large cars....mostly "S Class" Mercedes, but I
saw at least one stretch M-class and what looked in the distance, like a
500SL. The 600 was backing carefully against a tall board fence, and I
could see in the hillside in back of the fence, a dull, grey rectangular
structure, that looked almost like a door.
The 600 stopped and two men got out of the front. The driver came around to
the rear, and opened the rear door.
Another set of headlights appeared in back of me, and I stepped close to one
of the parked "S-class" sedans. The arriving car stopped in front of where
I was standing, and reversed into a parking space next to the car I was
standing behind. I looked up and the 600 was now quiet, its door closed.
I never saw who got out or where he or she went.
Now, the newly arrived "S class" engine was turned off, and the doors
opened. Out stepped a tall grey haired man, oh, I would say, in his
seventies or so. Immaculately dressed. His chauffeur passed him a walking
stick, and he instructed him to remain with the car. Turning to me, he
asked if I would mind walking with him, as he had some trouble with the
ground. Surprised, I agreed and we walked across the lot together. As I
was still dressed in evening clothes, he obviously assumed that I had just
arrived in the own "S-class" that I had been nearly hiding behind.
As we passed around the fence, he said to me: "It is a terrible thing this.
To have to meet like this, and have to take action. The Americans are SO
important, but this is too much. The chairman is very angry." I nodded and
voiced my agreements, having no idea what the gentleman was talking aobut.
We reached what in fact, was a massive portal set into the hill side. I
could see the dull gleam of the metal work of the door way. It seemed at
first as though it was steel painted a dull grey, but as we approached, I
saw that it was not painted at all, but highly polished, and appeared to be
bare metalwork. I wondered if it might be titanium.
There was a bright band of light that shown down onto the threshhold in
front of the door, and I could see recesses in each side of the casements
beside what was a huge door. Let me describe the door now, as it was truly
impressive. At least twenty feet tall, and at least twenty feet wide.
Standing close beside it I could see a seam running vertically down the
center. It was firmly closed as we approached, and very suddendly, two very
large black uniformed guards emerged from the recesses on either side of the
door way. Their uniforms were black and totally unadorned, except for a
large three pointed stars on the left breast, and epaulets with some sort of
insignia which I could not clearly see on them.
They clicked their heels, and I saw, to my great surprise, held down by
their sides, some sort of short, semi-automatic weapon....a MAC 10, perhaps.
My companion smiled, and held up a white plastic card or some sort. They
must have assumed that I was his chauffeur or something, because they never
looked at me. One man extended his left hand, and extended it toward the
door. I could see he held some sort of control, and suddenly, there was a
humming sound, and the huge metal doors opened inward.
My companion/guide and I walked inside, he continued his discourse on the
Americans, and how difficult the market was and how important that there be
no disruptions to the market or the satisfaction with what he called "the
Experience", and about every other sentence, he would say something like,
"We have come so far...."
Inside was a wide corridor. The walls and ceiling were of the same metal
that the portal was made of, and it was all brightly lit from indirect
lighting in behind soffits near the vaulted ceiling. At the end of the
corridor...oh, I would say perhaps fifty meters away, was a large, double
door....normal banquet room height....made of what seemed to be poliched
walnut. There were several people standing in front of the open door in a
line, and there was another pair of the uniformed attendants speaking to
each one as they began to enter the room beyond. I could see a through the
opened door into what was a small ampitheater, was looking directly at the
podium. A short, powerfully built man of indeterminate age was speaking,
and I could hear most of his words which were amplified. He was saying:
"...in America. Sales are reaching the highest levels since our
manufacturing cycles changed. The image of our products is still recovering
from the feeble attempts of the Japanese to emulate our quality, and our
quality control efforts have improved. But now, we have this "issue" with
the enthusiast club, which is treatening to undermine the desired
"experience" of ownership...."
The line was now down to two in front of my companion and me. I could now
see that each person entering the room was required to give his identity
card to one of the attendants.
"....unsupportable interference with the successful overtaking of the
automotive segment, if this enthusiast club activity continues....." I could
n't hear the rest clearly, as I was listening to what the "attendants" were
saying to the man two in front of me, then I heard....
"So you will be asked to review the options as presented by Herr Ostenmeier,
who represents the Executive for Marketing and Contract Enforcement. There
is a procedure for the cleaning of marketing errors. We have only used this
process once, and that was in Argentina in 1957. But our distribution
network MUST NOT (and his voice rose), allow continued enrollment in this
club, if it is to continue to alienate future sales points and customers.
Any subject of "ethics must be approved by US, not some upstart who is not a
part of this circle: WE DECIDE THE ETHICS OF OUR MARQUE!"
Obviously, we hold ethics in our product line to a very high standard. But
ethics at the social level, MUST NOT errode the image of our marketing
efforts. Charges and allegations of embezelment of funds from this social
club are serious. This man, Bobbit, Barron....I cannot bring myself to
remember....is damaging the image of our history and our products. Should
the membership of this club actually organize and bring charges, there will
be a great deal of difficullty for the average person to distinguish between
this "social club" and the Company."
Now, the "attendants" were examining the card of my companion.
"....the sanctioning effort will go forward with your votes and review. The
subject is to be cleansed of even the appearance of illegality, and only the
highest code of behavior will be tolerated....now I will yield to Herr
Ostenmeier."
I saw this new speaker walk to the podium. He was powerfully built, but
seemd quite old. Completely bald, he wore a black patch over one eye. The
attendants were on either side of me as he began to speak.
I said to the first guard, as my former companion disappeared into the
chamber, "I have forgotten something and must return to my car." He nodded
curtly and said: "I will accompany you to the door".
Once outside, I walked back to the "S-class" that I had stood beside when
this whole scenario began. I turned and looked back toward the fence that
partially hid the portal and saw no one, so I walked back down the road to
my hotel.
I thought you might find this story of interest."
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You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows - Robert A. Zimmerman
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05-13-2002, 03:58 PM
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