Texas jury finds that... - PeachParts Mercedes-Benz Forum

BENZ-LGB · #1 02-13-2003, 12:20 PM

In a related story the ACLU quickly moves to have Benzes added to the list of weapons, including hunting rifles, handguns, etc., they would like to see banned.

Mercedes Benz responds with an ad campaign featuring Charlton Heston and stating that: "Benzes don't kill people, people kill people."

Democrats in Congress sponsor new legislature requiring that all Benzes be registered with a Federal agency, that Benzes be electronically fingerprinted and that there be background checks and 24-hour waiting periods for anyone wanting to purchase a Benz.

Right wingers ask for a ban on all Benzes because Germany refuses to support the US in the war against Iraq.

Arianna Huffington categorically states that Jesus would NOT drive a Benz (but the Pope is driven in a Benz) and sponsors new TV and newspaper ads that superimpose pictures of moms driving ML-series Benzes over pictures of Iraqui terrorist camps.

Stay tuned.

rickg · #2 02-13-2003, 12:34 PM

Great! Now we'll have to register our cars, and won't be able to take them across state lines without a permit

And I suppose a Concealed Mercedes Permit is going to cost a fortune!

G-Benz · #3 02-13-2003, 12:36 PM

Excuse #1: "But but...I only use my ML for hunting, not assault!"

Excuse #2: "And all of them are kept unloaded in a locked garage, so my kid won't accidentally discover one of them and run over a friend!"

Excuse #3: "I have a lawful right to arm bears (no wait, that's wrong)..."

Excuse #4: "I have them to protect myself and my family in case I find myself face-to-face with a soccer mom (well-armed with a Tahoe)"

Excuse #5: "Outlaw Mercedes and only outlaws will have them" (whoa, outlaws DO have them!)

Excuse #6: "All Texans have a Mercedes". It's a must in this lawless territory!

rickg · #4 02-13-2003, 12:41 PM

Just don't get caught driving it loaded!!:p

MTI · #5 02-13-2003, 01:36 PM

Newly appointed MBNA Spokesman Charlton Heston has issued a press release stating "You'll have to pry that burlwood and leather multi-function AMG wheel out of my cold dead hands!"

JCE · #6 02-13-2003, 02:56 PM

Governor Grey Devious was quick to respond to allegations he wanted to outlaw private ownership of Mercedes Benz vehicles. In a press release the governor pointed out his proposed ban applied only to the Assault Mercedes used by the USMC, and the civilian versions, including the ML. He described the assault vehicles as easily identified by their black color, and called Daimler Chrysler to task for their "...shallow and cynical attempts to hide the true nature of these weapons by offering them in other colors and adding wood trim, as if they were legitimate sporting or luxury vehicles." He further indicated that the ban may be extended in the future to include any black SUV (semi-utomatic vehicle), especially to inexpensive 'Saturday Night Special' imports.

G-Benz · #7 02-13-2003, 05:34 PM

The "Urban Assault Vehicle" especially lethal at youth soccer gatherings!

BENZ-LGB · #8 02-13-2003, 06:11 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by JCE
Governor Grey Devious was quick to respond to allegations he wanted to outlaw private ownership of Mercedes Benz vehicles. In a press release the governor pointed out his proposed ban applied only to the Assault Mercedes used by the USMC, and the civilian versions, including the ML. He described the assault vehicles as easily identified by their black color, and called Daimler Chrysler to task for their "...shallow and cynical attempts to hide the true nature of these weapons by offering them in other colors and adding wood trim, as if they were legitimate sporting or luxury vehicles." He further indicated that the ban may be extended in the future to include any black SUV (semi-utomatic vehicle), especially to inexpensive 'Saturday Night Special' imports.

:p

mikemover · #9 02-13-2003, 07:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by G-Benz
Excuse #1: "But but...I only use my ML for hunting, not assault!"

Excuse #2: "And all of them are kept unloaded in a locked garage, so my kid won't accidentally discover one of them and run over a friend!"

Excuse #3: "I have a lawful right to arm bears (no wait, that's wrong)..."

Excuse #4: "I have them to protect myself and my family in case I find myself face-to-face with a soccer mom (well-armed with a Tahoe)"

Excuse #5: "Outlaw Mercedes and only outlaws will have them" (whoa, outlaws DO have them!)

Excuse #6: "All Texans have a Mercedes". It's a must in this lawless territory!

I'm particularly fond of Excuse # 4!

Mike

rickg · #10 02-13-2003, 09:42 PM

New bumper sticker I want for my car:
"Mercedes don't kill people,
People kill people"