(ok this is the 3rd freaking time I'm typing this up b/c something messed up and it didn't post > )

Check this:

Im at a 4 way stop. I let a good 3 cars go before me, b/c they were morons and didn't realize it was my freaknig turn to go. So finally, I make a left, and I'm 1/2 way through the intersection, when the bonehead in the jetta across from me decides to make a right and go straight in front of me (we both headed to the same direction!).

So I brake, nearly hitting him, I don't honk, I don't look at him, I don't flip him off, nothing.

SO here he is, stopped. I decide to go forth on the wrong way of the road I was already facing trying to avoid him earlier, and to attempt to make my way back to the right lane, in front of him.

He's not moving, so I'm thinking he knew he was wrong, and he's letting me go.

BUT NO!

The mofo hits the gas, and takes off, blocking me from tgoing to the right lane, keeping me in the incoming traffic lane. Mind you this is only a parking lot road, but STILL cars come haulnig ass around there.

So he's trying to keep me from passing him, I Punch it, the road is upward and curvy, and he veers to the left, doing jerky leftward movements w/ his steering wheel, trying to run me off the freaking road!

So now there's an SUV coming around the blind corner going 15mph, and I manage to barely squeeze between his car and the SUV to not get hit!!!

and the mofo in the jetta (dood who is crazy) keeps trying to run me off the road. finally I try to box him in as we are nearing a stop sign, to give him a mafia style beatdown.

My attempt fails, but he's stuck behind traffic.

So I jump outta my car, go around the back of it, and go up to his car which is now right of mine, w/ his trunk at the height of my headlights.

I come behind his car, and w/ an open hand I SLAM the HELL out of his trunk lid and I go "BAM!" and I yell obscenities at him.

then he comes outta the car and he's pissed, i mean REALLY pissed. And he takes a swing at.... no other than my freaking hood emblem! He tried to rip it off but he can't! AT that point, I am really furious and I open my passenger door, grab my 3 cell maglite and I'm about to break his taillight and rear windshield, but I decide against it, as I don't fancy a night in a cell...

So anyway, now the guy's coming after me... uh oh.

I'm so ready to take him out, (w/o the maglite) but hey, I know the law, so I wait for him to touch me first. And he does.

Mofo pushes me like a pansy, I blocked his gay push and I was gonna reply w/ a swing of the maglite on his skull, but weapons are weak, so I was gonna go for a good old fist attack...but no I still don't want to. I took karate for 9 years, they teach you to walk away form a fight if you can.

I did just that, although I wanted to mess him up sooo bad. I backed down and I say "mother fuk2$&! get yo ass back in the car im calling the cops"


He says "fine, call them, I'll be across the street." and so he goes there and I'm sitting here like mmmm what do I do? I decide to bone it outta there. I came outta the car, I hit my hand on his car, I pull out the maglite, doesn't look good for me.

So then I do call my friends at the PD, have them come down, and I tell them what happened. They tell me "Wtf man, dont go otuta your car, u know better than that." he said "you got out, get got out, u hit his car, he hit yours, you pull the maglite out, he pushes you. I'd tell your two to just go home."

OH well. I wish I was in France so I cuold've kicked his silly ass and made him bleed in front of his wife. He was 40 or so.

I was so pissed off somebody f$k42@ w/ my car like he did. I didnt even get his plate b/c of the way he pushed me, it was so ghey. Techically that's battery, but then my w/ my maglite would be assault so he could say he was in fear of his life or crap like that.

Well that's it and that's all, it's just to show you guys I was a dumb ass tonight , but that guy was too.

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2003 E55 AMG
2007 FJ Cruiser