I heard this one today:

"The Honest Drunk"

A woman walks into the grocery store. She buys a head of lettuce, gallon of milk, bacon, cereal, and bread.

She then proceeds to the checkout counter and begins placing these items, one by one, on the conveyer belt to be rung up.

Behind her a drunkard watches.

"Single, huh?", he states.

Astonished, she replies, "Why yes, I am. How'd you know by looking at what I've bought that I am in fact single?"




















"'Cus you're uglier than CR@P!! that's why!!".

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!