My dating life's an open book , Part II: I pose a question... - Page 2 - PeachParts Mercedes-Benz Forum

#16 07-31-2003, 05:25 PM

Jason,

You and I are probably pretty similar in our approach to women. I've been known to send a dozen roses after a first date. I've always been on the romantic side and love to do little special things for the women I date.

In this circumstance, I thought to approach things in a different way.... take them slow, as I'm prone to going too fast in relationships. Thought that would be the best thing, to try to establish a good foundation and take it from there.

Suppose I was wrong on that one and blew it.

Hope you see better results!! Good luck!

engatwork · #17 07-31-2003, 06:26 PM

Quote:

I'm not sure where I'll take it from here.

I wouldn't do anything, no email, no call, nothing. I think you are wasting your time if you have romantic interest Stefano. Personally, I would meet and get to know as many different women as I could and actually still do to this day but not for romantic purposes, I just like to meet people.

Not sure what Christian dating is but from now when you find one that is the "only one" you want to date just tell her that.

Southern ways of telling if a woman likes you:

a) When she goes to the grocery store you ask her to bring back a 6 pack of beer and she comes back with a 12 pack

.

b) You return to her apartment/house after the second date and she tells you to make yourself comfortable in the den. She goes to her room and returns a few minutes later dressed more "comfortable".

#18 07-31-2003, 07:36 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SP0CK
- When I was dating, this was my focus. It was only getting my expectations up too high too fast for one girl that I have to watch out for. Just be yourself and do what comes natural and always have another one in the pipeline you are thinking about.

Yup! I'm totally guilty of that! I tend to be on the romantic side myself and easily get caught up in the "ideas" of what could be in the future. Too much future-thinking, I guess, for my own good.

Regarding the "other one in the pipeline", there is this sweet, cute, Vietnemese pediatrician I've thought of asking out. She emailed me the other day and suggested that I come over to her house for "dinner and to catch up". It's understood that her roommates will be there, but I think there's a little interest on her part. I have flirted with her a little bit in the past couple months...

Dare I begin another thread if I ask her out!!

engatwork · #19 07-31-2003, 07:51 PM

Quote:

"dinner and to catch up"

and no, I would not talk about it in the forum. I'll bet she will kiss on the second date if you try.

Just relax

with the whole thing.

#20 07-31-2003, 07:55 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by engatwork
and no, I would not talk about it in the forum. I'll bet she will kiss on the second date if you try.

Just relax with the whole thing.

Good advice to heed.

Yeah, it won't be a forum thing next time, though all the different views and advice was interesting, at least.

#21 08-01-2003, 06:45 PM

I think you are thinking about this too much. I agree with Spock in that you have to get to a place where things will just flow. Try doing some things that are a little physical, like going to an amusement park or something. See how she feels when you make contact. Does she jump? Get out and do something wild and fun. She may be thinking that you want to always be serious.

pentoman · #22 08-01-2003, 07:18 PM

Stefano - I wonder too much just like you, and I've come to think that women want a certain amount of 'spark'. Without spark, they will only want to be friends. It's true that

Friendship + spark = relationship

It may or may not be a good way to add spark, but I've realised that I never have 'control' (see the 'playing games with girls' thread...) of anything, I am a puppet. So, if you are interested in this Viatnemese girl, don't be a puppet, I think it may work to decline her offer to go over to hers (for some good-sounding reason), thus suggesting you aren't instantly available, but then saying 'but how about you come over to mine/we go for dinner etc. next week?'.

It can only be good - either she says yes and you have some sort of control (that's 'spark' if she thinks she can't have you whenever she likes), or she says no and plainly isn't interested. It's a double-check too. Maybe when she emailed before she was bored, or drunk (!), or 'tired and emotional'. You don't want to have your time wasted again...

good luck!

Russ

#23 08-01-2003, 11:15 PM

You guys are great!

Thanks for the posts!

I'm still figuring out what and where I'm gonna go next. Try again? Move on? Wait a while and see what happens? Who knows.

I've thought of writing her and basically telling her how my approach to her was not really typical of how I am in a relationship, but really a reaction to other girls I've dated and a desire to do things differently, less physically, and right ( in my book).

Just feeling things out for now..... not really upset or depressed, which is good.

Hell, it was only four dates and a month and a half of my summer, right??

G-Benz · #24 08-02-2003, 12:43 AM

Can you cook? (If not get some tips from Kuan!)

Invite her over for a home-cooked meal! The intimate enviroment will allow the both of you to concentrate on each other, and not the general public...

...it's time for some aggressive action on your part...not mercenary, but you need to initiate something in order to take this relationship to the next level!

engatwork · #25 08-02-2003, 06:51 AM

You need to do what Spock said with this one "there is this sweet, cute, Vietnemese pediatrician"

. Forget about the first one, her loss is your gain. I'm telling you Stefano, I have run into women like that before and the majority of the time they are nut cases.

#26 08-02-2003, 09:11 AM

I'm actually kinda enjoying this too! Like someone said earlier: "For the love of GOD never let her see this thread!!"-- or words to that effect.

Spock: just as things would be, I've got three room mates, the TV is unhooked because we had to take all the furniture out of the basement due to the raw sewage flood two weeks ago, and we can't use the AC until we get rid of all the mold!! The living room is also unusable because it's full of all the furniture from the basement!

Can't wait to buy my own place-- I've got my eye on a great place that I know is going on the market soon.

Don't worry, I still get your message.

Jim: I wouldn't be surprised to find in retrospect that you've come closest to hitting the proverbial nail on the head than anyone else. As it were, my last girlfriend was a complete nutcase! And I'm not being totally figurative either.

engatwork · #27 08-02-2003, 09:36 AM

Sfori - wow, you've become a guest again

.

If you can bring a woman over to your place now - no air, raw sewage, etc... and she doesn't have any problem with it then you have found a woman that likes you

. May be a perfect opportunity to "weed em out".

My most memorable date was with this young lady back around 1978 or 79. It was a blind date that had been lined up by her friends (female) who lived in an adjacent apt at that time. Anyway, at the time my BMW 2002 was in the shop and I was driving a '64 Ford F100, straight shift on the column and loads of torque. My roomates loaded the front seat up and cab up with pine cones and I said to heck with it and picked her up just like that. You should have seen the look on her face when I went to pick her up

- her face was red/flushed looking and with this particular young lady that has always been a good sign

. It was great and we have been real good friends since that time. I do kinda hate that one got away (I moved away that fall after college) but so it goes.

jassz · #28 08-02-2003, 11:58 AM

Quote:

Like someone said earlier: "For the love of GOD never let her see this thread!!"-- or words to that effect.

Mmmm, I tend to disagree. It's not like you were describing your sex life, haha.

I think any woman who read what YOU wrote about her (before the disappointment) couldn't help but melt. She'd probably be less enamoured with the respondants.

Plus the fact that you were willing to risk humiliation amongst the guys trying to seek an answer to the situation would score a lot of points too. I would think 'This is a guy willing to risk anything for me. Sigh....'.

That said, don't send her a link to this thread.:p It's not like we're the Borg and have a collective conscienceness. What I find endearing, she may not.

I like the raw-sewage as a litmus paper test though! Picture it... raw sewage, sweltering heat, no furniture, your allergies acting up so you're one big drip, maybe sneezing all over her.... if she didn't run screaming from the room, marry her quick!