Okay, here's the update.

After not seeing each other for almost two weeks, due to schedules and her leaving town on vacation for a week, Barbara and I got together Monday evening for dinner.

She was out at her parents' house tending the garden during the day; they're still in NC for another week. Our plans were for me to pick her up there, have dinner, then for me to show her pictures I took during my last vacation to Europe a couple months ago.

I gave her a hug when she opened the door. We talked for a little bit, then decided to eat first before looking at the pictures. It was raining, so it was nice walking together under my umbrella, though I didn't really put my arm around her, just a couple times briefly.

We ate at Clyde's Steak House. Great dinner and, as usual, great conversation. Man!, what a repor we have. We talked mostly of some of the crazy things we did in our youths and had a lot of fun. Never a lull, never a dull moment.

After dinner, we returned to her parents' house. Of course, we were the only ones there. She poured us each a shot of some kind of liquer. I'm not really a liquer kinda guy, but thought it nice for each of us to have a little. (Always helps a bit anyway, right?)

We sat at the corner of the dining room table and looked through each of the 200+ pictures. I think she really enjoyed it. She's done a lot of traveling herself and, like me, really enjoys photography. A couple times we were pretty close to each other while looking at a photo, and the thought entered my mind to just lean over and give her a kiss, but I still wasn't sure what her comfort level was, so I didn't.

After we finished looking at the pics, we talked for a bit more. What I didn't like, was the fact that she was leaning back into her chair instead of forward towards me. But we were both still pretty comfortable.

Finally, she said, "Well, I should let you go..." "Yeah, it's getting a little late," I replied. It was about 10:30 or so. I put the photos back into my bag and we got up and walked towards the front door.

Instinctively, I knew she wasn't going to walk me to my car, as she had each time before. I was beginning to get the feeling that yet another date was to pass without either a kiss or any indication on either of our parts as to weather this was going anywhere romantically or not.

She opened the door and I stepped out onto the landing. As I turned around, I immediately regretted having done that as I was now below her eye level, putting me at somewhat of a disadvantage should I choose to lean forward and kiss her.

We talked briefly of the possibility of getting together with her friend (and one of my housemates), Mike and his girlfriend this Friday night for an outdoor movie in a local park. She didn't know if she's be able to get out of a bridal shower she was supposed to go to, but said she'd let me know.

That was it, time to say goodbye and I hadn't learned or gotten any feeling or indication form the date as to what was on her mind regarding "us". I stood there for a second or so as this realization sunk in, and knew that if I didn't do at least something I was neither man enough or deserving of any kind of relationship. I hated the idea of driving home and, at least for the next few days, pondering and over analyzing everything until I was miserable.

"Can I ask you a question?", I asked casually, as my heart began to beat out of my chest. I leaned against the door jam and crossed one foot over the other casually.

"Sure", she replied.

"Are you interested in christian dating?", I asked.

"What's christian dating?" she asked.

"I'm not sure," I replied, "just dating the 'right' way" I answered. I continued, "I've had a really great time with you during the time we've spent together. I think we have a lot of fun and I like you a lot. I'm not sure where it would necessarily lead, but I'd like to find out."

"I'd like to find out too", then added, "Do you mean exclusive dating?"

"No not necessarily", I answered.

I'm not sure what she was thinking, I may have caught her off-guard with the question.

"Well, can I think about it?", she asked.

"Sure," I answered, "but you'll have to let me know, I'm not one to pressure in that way."

I paused for a second and, with a little smile, said what I had told myself I absolutely would NOT say to her. "I think you're pretty neat!" [What a dork!]

She got a little smile herself and replied, "I think you're pretty neat too!"

I leaned forward and gave her a hug, with the usual kiss on the cheek. Turning, I said, "Let me know about Friday night."

"Okay", she answered.

There was no light on in the doorway. I said a little prayer as I tried to walk down the stairs to the walkway without tripping and looking like a total idiot. I then "casually" walked down the walkway to my car (the E-320... there's my Benz reference to legitimize this post!) and drove home.

POST SCRIPT:

There was no communication on Tuesday, but today I received this email from Barbara:

"Stefano,
Thank you very much for dinner at Clydes. It was very nice and good to hear about some of your crazy times. I wanted to let you know asap that I can't make Friday night. I guess I'm not really sure what Christian dating is either. I'd be interested in finding out. I've tried to be open to dating. I haven't dated much in the last ten years but the last year has been different. I've tried to just go out and have a good time. If something more comes of it then so be it. I hope I've been charitable to you.

I would like to talk more and really didn't intend to mention all of this on email... sorry. Barbara"

I sent this reply tonight:

"Hi Barbara,

Don't worry about Friday night-- I knew you had possible plans, so it wasn't completely fair of me to ask. Hope you all have fun!

I agree about the dating part. I'm not sure exactly what Christian dating is either, except to think that it would be at least honest and platonic. From what you've said, I think we may have similar dating histories. If you're comfortable, we could talk more about this in person-- but only if you're comfortable. Email certainly isn't a great venue for subjects like this. Just let me know; like I said, I'm not one to pressure in this regard.

Have a great week!

Stefano

PS Yes, you've been charitable ot me.... you've shown more than a lot of class."


So there you have it. That's where things stand.......