just use the drain plug like real guys do...there is a drain plug you know...

Mitey Vac makes a good unit. It's available at Sears. Get the 8L version, about $80.

I use it a lot. I do fleet maintenance and I have several remote locations. I can change the oil and filters in my units with just a couple of small spots of oil left on the ground. Easy to clean and the old oil is in a sealed container ready to be taken to any store which accepts old oil. Much easier and neater than draining the 10qts in a pan, replacing the drain plug every 4th or 5th time (I'm a little pedantic at times), messing with trying to drain the oil into a sealable container and then having to clean and store the drain pan.

The first one I did I pulled the drain plug just to see how well it did. After 2 or 3 minutes I got maybe three small drops of oil from the pan.

Yep, it doesn't cost anything for equipment and gives you a chance to look underneath and see what's falling off. For those times in bad weather or for other times that come up where you just need to do a quick change and let the under car inspection wait until next time, I have YET to find a Mercedes that I could not drain the oil into a shallow pan with the car setting flat on a level floor.

If you think you can't get the drain plug out without raising the car, you must be trying to change oil while wearing your wedding tuxedo. Get some old clothes that you use specifically for the purpose and crawl under the car by the method that I call "walking on my shoulders."

I can't even get the pan under the car without raising it up. It is much too close to the ground. Older models, sure, no problem.

Yep, ramps are the way to go.

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Those ramps are the best investment I have ever made, along with a floor jack. I remember back in the '60s seeing in the JC Whitney catalogue a quick-release drain plug with a cable that went to the dash. The idea was to pull the cable, drain the oil, and return the cable to closed when finished. Anyone know if this thing fizzled or not?

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Aint that the truth!!

I have older ramps - no rubber stops. I have found some old carpet tiles with a rubber base. Sit them underneath the ramps to stop them being pushed back.
I'm 60 and don't mind getting underneath the car. A friend of mine has a hoist. Every few months or so I put my cars up on it and go over the underneath with a very bright torch.