So many of these posts don't have a conclusion so i want to put closure to mine. I got it fixed. I swapped in some good motor mounts from a parts car I have. No change! Still shakes. So I gave up. Without some kind of diagnosis, I couldn't see throwing parts at it. The mounts cost me nothing (and were getting bad anyway) so no harm there. Easy job too, took <1hr to swap them if anyone wonders.

The solution: The #6 cylinder was missing I was told. Half the coil was not firing. Not sure i totally understand that but that was what I was told. He replaced the coil and shaking is gone. Interestingly, it never threw a code to the OBD for this problem. I had all 3 coils out myself and of course couldn't tell anything (I need to learn how to test these things) so I was all over the problem but I stopped short of replacing parts. I just couldn't hear a 'miss' but it was the problem. I got out for $289 so life goes on. I am a little bummed I couldn't figure it out on my own but the car is on the road again. Thanks for all the help and suggetions.

Now my diesel 300D is on the fritz so trying to figure that one out over on the other side of the forum. These cars are going to be the end of me!