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  #16  
Old 12-23-2004, 02:30 PM
boneheaddoctor's Avatar
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Join Date: May 2004
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Volkl42
It sure does me. Here's my situation.

College Grad as of the spring. This summer was great, good girl, ok job with lots of free time, good times. Well this fall I started looking for a career, and landed one. Great potential, good starting salary for my age $30-$40k. Well, my girlfriend broke up with me. We lived 100 miles apart since college, she is down there, I am up here, she didn't want to deal with it any longer. Fine, I can put her behind me, it was only a year.

So here I am, 22 years old, living at home. I want to move out, but I need to pay off the debt I accumulated over 4 years of college. That, and I am trying to save up to purchase a place, as opposed to rent. I live 65 miles from work, and have a hellish commute accross the city of Chicago. Any free time I have over the week is spent by eating dinner or going to bed. I get home at 7:30 pm, and need to be out the door at 6:30am to get to work on time. I have no social outlets beyond work or my friends from school. They all have significant others, so they don't go out as often, and I don't think I want to pick up a girl at a bar.

So I am 22, single, living at home, and very little money to spread around. For those of you that met your significant other, where did you do so? I think I missed the boat on meeting her in school...
I met mine when I was 27 married her at 30........we met at a neighbors birthday party and she caught me eye...avoid the bar scene...good for picking up someone to bang for the night or pick up an STD...bad for meeting good women. Odds are you will meet miss perfect when you least expect to.....

Women sense desperation and avoid it........I have more women flock to me now than I did when I was single and looking...when you are looking none are interested....when you are not interested thats when they want you.....

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Last edited by boneheaddoctor; 12-23-2004 at 02:36 PM.
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  #17  
Old 12-23-2004, 02:42 PM
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Pay no attention to these people. They’re all caught up in this spirit of the season nonsense. First thing you need to do is go out and join an athletic club. You’ll feel better and develop the extra energy you’ll need to compete in the boring grind you’ve entered into. Forget about women in bars as long as you live at home, you’ll have to have a place to take them and women in Chicago are into older guys anyway. Learn to use bus depots and if there are blood banks that pay for donors learn to catch them on the way in. Buy an expensive looking knockoff watch. You’ll have the good feeling that comes from not paying full price and the women that are actually impressed will be easy. You may need more stress in your life to make you more aggressive. Start making payments on a really expensive car a get even further into debt. If you want to be great you’ve got to act like you are. Learn to play Poker – this is catching on and most of the player’s stink. It may be one way to get on the fast track in a hurry.
Or if your thinking I’m a complete sh**head, take a deep breath and relax. Right now before you’re really deep into it, sit back and try to find what you really like. Wash all the advertised marketing hype out and consider what really makes you feel good, and your perspective may change dramatically – You really should join the athletic club though – make sure it’s the one popular with the ladies.
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  #18  
Old 12-23-2004, 02:59 PM
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Posts: 5,303
Quote:
Originally Posted by Volkl42
One, I have no time. Two, seeing other people's problems does not solve my own. While it may make me reflect on my problems in a different light, it does not take away from the fact that these problems still exist, no matter how insignificant
Yeah, but you won't whine so much.
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  #19  
Old 12-23-2004, 03:01 PM
MedMech
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KirkVining
Yeah, but you won't whine so much.
No doubt, use the hot air for a blow up doll.
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  #20  
Old 12-23-2004, 03:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MedMech
No doubt, use the hot air for a blow up doll.
Twenty minutes later, and I am still laughing over that one.
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  #21  
Old 12-23-2004, 07:06 PM
webwench
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Smile

At 22, it's far too early to worry about having 'missed your chance' to meet an SO in college. For one, at least in my experience, no one is sane enough to marry at that age anyway... you and your prospective SOs still have a lot of growing and changing to do. You still need some freedom to move, change jobs, try different things in your life, and so should she. Wait until at least your mid to late twenties before seriously 'shopping' for an s.o., unless of course you meet the right girl between now and then. The last thing you would want to do is marry too early, have one of you realize a few years down the road it was a mistake, and find yourself single at an older age -- ask me how I know

Suggestions:

(1) Find something to do one day a weekend that is active and allows you to meet others. There are hiking clubs, dinner clubs, volunteer groups that do things like building houses for poor people, and weekend classes. Set a goal for yourself to sign up for something along these lines at least one weekend in January. It's easy, no commitment, will make you feel like you've accomplished something, and then you can decide whether to continue with that particular activity. I do agree that you don't have time or energy during the week, so stop feeling bad about that and plan for your weekends.

(2) Decide how much money you need to save to buy your own place. Then project out what you're saving now, to determine when you'll be 'done'. If you're in an unhappy situation, it always helps to know when you'll reach the light at the end of the tunnel. Plus, you can decide when to start house-shopping. If the magic date is too far in the future for your liking, you can take steps now to address that (increase income, decrease expeditures, or scale down your target figure).

(3) Don't listen to the advice that you'll only get women when you get money. You will certainly have better chances with a certain kind of woman who has certain priorities if you can flash cash... of course, it's up to you to decide whether that's the kind of woman you want or not If you want career success, put in the work for yourself and to achieve your goals, not someone else's.

The holidays get a lot of people down... I'm also sans s.o., not dating by choice (but I'll still whine about being lonely, so there), and worst of all for me, this is my son's Christmas to be with his dad, so I'm right there with you. Stay busy, stay out of the bars , and keep your eyes on your goal, and you'll be okay.
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  #22  
Old 12-23-2004, 07:12 PM
jjl jjl is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 695
Quote:
Originally Posted by webwench
At 22, it's far too early to worry about having 'missed your chance' to meet an SO in college. For one, at least in my experience, no one is sane enough to marry at that age anyway... you and your prospective SOs still have a lot of growing and changing to do. You still need some freedom to move, change jobs, try different things in your life, and so should she. Wait until at least your mid to late twenties before seriously 'shopping' for an s.o., unless of course you meet the right girl between now and then. The last thing you would want to do is marry too early, have one of you realize a few years down the road it was a mistake, and find yourself single at an older age -- ask me how I know

Suggestions:

(1) Find something to do one day a weekend that is active and allows you to meet others. There are hiking clubs, dinner clubs, volunteer groups that do things like building houses for poor people, and weekend classes. Set a goal for yourself to sign up for something along these lines at least one weekend in January. It's easy, no commitment, will make you feel like you've accomplished something, and then you can decide whether to continue with that particular activity. I do agree that you don't have time or energy during the week, so stop feeling bad about that and plan for your weekends.

(2) Decide how much money you need to save to buy your own place. Then project out what you're saving now, to determine when you'll be 'done'. If you're in an unhappy situation, it always helps to know when you'll reach the light at the end of the tunnel. Plus, you can decide when to start house-shopping. If the magic date is too far in the future for your liking, you can take steps now to address that (increase income, decrease expeditures, or scale down your target figure).

(3) Don't listen to the advice that you'll only get women when you get money. You will certainly have better chances with a certain kind of woman who has certain priorities if you can flash cash... of course, it's up to you to decide whether that's the kind of woman you want or not If you want career success, put in the work for yourself and to achieve your goals, not someone else's.

The holidays get a lot of people down... I'm also sans s.o., not dating by choice (but I'll still whine about being lonely, so there), and worst of all for me, this is my son's Christmas to be with his dad, so I'm right there with you. Stay busy, stay out of the bars , and keep your eyes on your goal, and you'll be okay.
Now THAT is good advice.
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  #23  
Old 12-23-2004, 08:51 PM
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I am not looking for the one to marry, more for companionship right now.
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  #24  
Old 12-23-2004, 08:56 PM
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Get a dog.
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  #25  
Old 12-23-2004, 09:01 PM
azimuth's Avatar
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 433
Quote:
Originally Posted by KirkVining
Get a dog.
at the risk of stating the obvious, and, at the risk of being labeled a boor, i think he's looking more for a cat......a small one.
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  #26  
Old 12-23-2004, 09:03 PM
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Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 512
Hey man, having been there not too long ago, a couple of ideas for you. First, DON'T buy a place. The fact is you're going to move in the next few years anyway, so why not just rent until you figure out in what area you're going to live? Not having to save up for a down payment frees you up to get out of your partent's and rent a place now. So... rent a place in a cool area that you like, preferably near your friends and HAVE A GOOD TIME.
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  #27  
Old 12-23-2004, 09:06 PM
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Posts: 433
on a more serious note, and i don't mean to sound pajorative, patience, patience. the SO will happen and if it is not forced it will be life changing. good luck......also, a word of caution to one with so much on the ball so far.....after you pay off the debt----stay out of debt. a very rich man said once," those who understand interest, collect it; those who don't, pay it." Did i mention he's rich?
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  #28  
Old 12-23-2004, 09:36 PM
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Location: Hells half acre (Great Falls, Virginia)
Posts: 16,007
Like I said.....stop trying to find a woman and they will come looking for you....nothing is more irresistible to a woman that a man that is NOT oogling all over her, or that seems like he doesn't NEED a woman....

And avoid the gold diggers.......they are easy to spot....they are the high maintenance types that are always blowing money on something or other....stay with the women that are happy to be with you....regardless of what you are doing......even if its just watching the sunset fron your back yard.
__________________
Proud owner of ....
1971 280SE W108
1979 300SD W116
1983 300D W123
1975 Ironhead Sportster chopper
1987 GMC 3/4 ton 4X4 Diesel
1989 Honda Civic (Heavily modified)
---------------------
Section 609 MVAC Certified
---------------------
"He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." - Friedrich Nietzsche
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  #29  
Old 12-23-2004, 10:51 PM
MedMech
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Posts: n/a
Quote:
Originally Posted by KirkVining
Get a dog.
Now I'm laughing.

Honestly, V if your boo hooing on the forum it's a safe bet you don't have that dynamite 24/7 load of confidence and happiness that EVERYONE NOTICES. Unforunatly they notice the down mooder's and run in the opposite direction. Until you start projecting a positive image it's only going to get worse.

I suggest some time with 1 dollar a dance college student, most of their lives are so screwed up it's likely you'll feel pretty good about yourself and thank uncle Medmech in the morning.
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  #30  
Old 12-24-2004, 12:49 AM
VollkommenWar's Avatar
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 125
Quote:
Originally Posted by Volkl42
It sure does me. Here's my situation.

College Grad as of the spring. This summer was great, good girl, ok job with lots of free time, good times. Well this fall I started looking for a career, and landed one. Great potential, good starting salary for my age $30-$40k. Well, my girlfriend broke up with me. We lived 100 miles apart since college, she is down there, I am up here, she didn't want to deal with it any longer. Fine, I can put her behind me, it was only a year.

So here I am, 22 years old, living at home. I want to move out, but I need to pay off the debt I accumulated over 4 years of college. That, and I am trying to save up to purchase a place, as opposed to rent. I live 65 miles from work, and have a hellish commute accross the city of Chicago. Any free time I have over the week is spent by eating dinner or going to bed. I get home at 7:30 pm, and need to be out the door at 6:30am to get to work on time. I have no social outlets beyond work or my friends from school. They all have significant others, so they don't go out as often, and I don't think I want to pick up a girl at a bar.

So I am 22, single, living at home, and very little money to spread around. For those of you that met your significant other, where did you do so? I think I missed the boat on meeting her in school...
Stick with it. Remember, you are just starting out. Make some goals for yourself short and long term. If you decide the job is too much travel and eats away too much time, just try and look for another and maybe even interview b4 you quit so you have no gaps. I met my S.O. in college. Just give it time. At 22 you have pleanty of time. The right person will come along. No need to rush. Best of luck!

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