It sure does me. Here's my situation.

College Grad as of the spring. This summer was great, good girl, ok job with lots of free time, good times. Well this fall I started looking for a career, and landed one. Great potential, good starting salary for my age $30-$40k. Well, my girlfriend broke up with me. We lived 100 miles apart since college, she is down there, I am up here, she didn't want to deal with it any longer. Fine, I can put her behind me, it was only a year.

So here I am, 22 years old, living at home. I want to move out, but I need to pay off the debt I accumulated over 4 years of college. That, and I am trying to save up to purchase a place, as opposed to rent. I live 65 miles from work, and have a hellish commute accross the city of Chicago. Any free time I have over the week is spent by eating dinner or going to bed. I get home at 7:30 pm, and need to be out the door at 6:30am to get to work on time. I have no social outlets beyond work or my friends from school. They all have significant others, so they don't go out as often, and I don't think I want to pick up a girl at a bar.

So I am 22, single, living at home, and very little money to spread around. For those of you that met your significant other, where did you do so? I think I missed the boat on meeting her in school...

Well, at 22, you have hardly "missed the boat". When you get to be 48 and you have no significant other for the holidays, come back and talk.

I'm not saying I am out of options, I am just looking for advice as how this game works in the "real world"

Keep trying and look to the future. Otherwise you’ll end up bitter and endlessly grinding axes over your own perceived failings, not unlike a few members here.

There are a huge number of social organizations available. Everything from clubs that go to restaurants and sample different food and wine, to clubs catering to mountaineering snow sports, movie, dance, to classes in pottery, gardening, model building, evening classes schools, churches and well you name it. You live in population dense area. Pick something you like and find a social group, club, or school that serves that interest. Sometimes the goal is less to learn than to simply put yourself in a social setting. Best use of the opportunity and all that.

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...Tracy

'00 ML320 "Casper"
'92 400E "Stella"

Thanks for the advice. I have looked into local social clubs, none cater to memebers my age. All of the ski clubs for example require the memeber to be at least 25, or at least those that I have found. Another thing is my lack of free time. The week is shot for me, and the weekend is spent recooperating from the week, and maintaining existing relationships. Another factor is cost. It seems that every dollar I maked is already ear marked for something else. I guess this is a reality of life.

Your still young and you still have alot of opportunities to meet women.
I would focus on the career and make as much money as possible.
When you become successful, women will be available to you.
You may think that you don't want a girl that is materialistic, but most women are, they just don't show you that side of themselves right away.

So, make money!

I met my wife at a local community theater group where I was volunteering my sound technician/design and stage management services.

As a matter fo fact, our theater has brought together many couples which have lasted many years, kids, etc. Theater is a great place to meet people. You don't have to act, just be a volunteer and show an interest, they will probably be willing to train you in what you want to know. Esther here knows how to use power tools, the plug in kind, that is.
Most community theaters are comprised of folks who have jobs to pay the bills outside.


Check out this photo from a recent production. She met her husband outside of the theater. I think they're divorced,now. Just goes to show you.
Her name is Esther. Maybe I should put this on the Pretty Girls thread.

Theater parties are great,too. I'll stop there about that.

Mainly, do some volunteer work in what interests you LOCALLY.

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85' 300D No inspection, No registration fees, Cheap insurance
"If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits 88 miles per hour, you're going to see some serious %$&^."

Thinking of others rather than yourself is a great start. Do something nice for someone you care for.

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The only thing we have to fear is fear itself!

One of my house mates majored in theater. The parties were worth the price of tuition all by themselves! Lotta very outgoing girls in that dept.

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...Tracy

'00 ML320 "Casper"
'92 400E "Stella"

Start being thankful.

Be thankful you went to college, have a job when many don't, and have a great set of parents that are willing to help you still. All of these are going to set you up later down the road, especially the help from your parents. So many are in debt up to their eyeballs with no end in sight these days.

This time period in your life will pass soon enough. Go home and give your parents a big hug and tell them you love them. Don't focus on yourself so much and be thankful for every little thing you have.

Women have a way of falling in your lap when you least expect it. I'd work hard, play hard, while appreciating what you have, and the girl will come when it's time.


Happy Holidays.

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1994 C 280 117.5k, White (Good as new)
1997 Toyota Camry 149k Miles (Not so pretty anymore)

1990 190e 2.6 95k (Sold-Should not have)
1981 240d Stick ??? Miles...sold

I met mine when I was 27 married her at 30........we met at a neighbors birthday party and she caught me eye...avoid the bar scene...good for picking up someone to bang for the night or pick up an STD...bad for meeting good women. Odds are you will meet miss perfect when you least expect to.....

Women sense desperation and avoid it........I have more women flock to me now than I did when I was single and looking...when you are looking none are interested....when you are not interested thats when they want you.....

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Proud owner of ....
1971 280SE W108
1979 300SD W116
1983 300D W123
1975 Ironhead Sportster chopper
1987 GMC 3/4 ton 4X4 Diesel
1989 Honda Civic (Heavily modified)
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Section 609 MVAC Certified
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"He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." - Friedrich Nietzsche

Pay no attention to these people. They’re all caught up in this spirit of the season nonsense. First thing you need to do is go out and join an athletic club. You’ll feel better and develop the extra energy you’ll need to compete in the boring grind you’ve entered into. Forget about women in bars as long as you live at home, you’ll have to have a place to take them and women in Chicago are into older guys anyway. Learn to use bus depots and if there are blood banks that pay for donors learn to catch them on the way in. Buy an expensive looking knockoff watch. You’ll have the good feeling that comes from not paying full price and the women that are actually impressed will be easy. You may need more stress in your life to make you more aggressive. Start making payments on a really expensive car a get even further into debt. If you want to be great you’ve got to act like you are. Learn to play Poker – this is catching on and most of the player’s stink. It may be one way to get on the fast track in a hurry.
Or if your thinking I’m a complete sh**head, take a deep breath and relax. Right now before you’re really deep into it, sit back and try to find what you really like. Wash all the advertised marketing hype out and consider what really makes you feel good, and your perspective may change dramatically – You really should join the athletic club though – make sure it’s the one popular with the ladies.

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89 300E
79 240D
72 Westy
63 Bug sunroof
85 Jeep CJ7
86 Chevy 6.2l diesel PU

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane."
Marcus Aurelius

Stick with it. Remember, you are just starting out. Make some goals for yourself short and long term. If you decide the job is too much travel and eats away too much time, just try and look for another and maybe even interview b4 you quit so you have no gaps. I met my S.O. in college. Just give it time. At 22 you have pleanty of time. The right person will come along. No need to rush. Best of luck!

Christmas is a ying-yang for me. My five year old still believes in Santa, and it's wonderous. We have all the family here, and it's terrific. But, my Mom loved this time more than anything, and this is my third one withour her. Makes it really, really, really tough.

So, count me on both side, love it, hate it.

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John Shellenberg
1998 C230 "Black Betty" 240K

http://img31.exs.cx/img31/4050/tophat6.gif

Sounds like depression. It could be seasonally induced, if it lasts more then a few weeks definitely consider seeing a doctor. By all means start exercising, take an aerobics class or something that forces you to be around other people in a non work setting.
You are way too young to be worried about having a girlfriend. Get a hobby and don't worry about meeting someone. Assume you will never meet someone and find ways to entertain yourself and keep yourself happy. Of course you will meet someone but why concentrate on something you can't force. It will happen when you least expect it. My friend met his future wife when she walked onto the elevator he was riding.
Would you want to date someone that wasn't happy in their own skin? It sounds cliche but waiting for someone else to make you happy never works and will crush you in the end.
If I could keep my knowledge I would trade places with you in a heartbeat.