Originally Posted by SoCalBomb

LOL . . . a couple of seconds into the call I always tell the telemarketer , "Hey, can you hold on for a second?" . . . They always say "Okay" . . . that is when I just lay the phone down on a table and walk away. I figure that since they want to waste my time. .. I will waste theirs

Originally Posted by cmac2012

My niceness quotient has gone way down too. I just say, "Unemployed! Can't do it!" as soon as they mangle my name (sure tip off).

My sister's married to a guy with a French name (all right, all right) and her brother in law has a tactic. The name is Boudia, pronounced Bow-day, and when he gets a call where they say, "May I speak to Mr. Boo - dee -uh please," he says, "Hello...hello....(bangs phone against hand, then shouts to the side) Honey, we gotta get this damn phone fixed!"

I got on the "do not call" thing and it helped but I kept getting calls from about 3 Native American relief agencies, having made the mistake of sending one of them $20 about 7 years ago (that'll teach me). One day I said to the guy (I didn't like his attitude) "By the way, I'm on the do not call list," and he says, "that doesn't apply to us, sir" in this limp, snotty sounding voice and I said "Well it applies to me and if you call me again I'm gonna give you an ear fulla $h!t, you got that!"

They still call. Apparently non-profits are exempt (nobody consulted me about that) It's those damn fund raising companies - you're never speaking to an Native American - and these *********s don't know how to do anything else. I mean, Jeez, you'd have to give them $100 a year just to break even on the fund raising asses before a Indians get a penny. And what's worse, I keep getting these calls where my cell screen says "private call" and there's no one there. I'll get two or three of those in an afternoon sometimes, fishing my cell out of my pocket while I'm upside down under some cabinet, and then finally, same "private call" notation, there's the damn telemarketer. Turns out they have these machines that will call several numbers at once and they'll take the first one that answers (saves their precious time not having to listen to a bunch of calls where no one's home) but then they're kind enough to call you back so you don't feel left out.

WHERE'S MY BASEBALL BAT!!

I'm beaten.......damn.

Originally Posted by boneheaddoctor

I hang up as soon as it starts to sound that way............


my wife screens calls that are for me by pretending to be the maid.........with her thick accent they drop the issue real quick.

Originally Posted by boneheaddoctor

I keep getting them some some damn police benevolent assosication..........saying I owe them money..............

Well two years ago they called adn pledges started at $40 and up....I said I had no money...they asked could you do $20 and I agreed foolishly.

Well few weeks later I get a bill for $40...........twice what I agreed to pay...I tried a few times to call the 800 number but it was always busy...I tore it up and threw it away............they must have called a dozen times to remind me we owed them money..............First few times I told them I offered to donate a certain amount...they send me a bill for far more. I refused to pay that.....send me a correct bill and I would do it...........after about the 6th call I told them to go F*&K themselves......they had me pi$$ed off at them now and it would be a cold day in hell before they saw one penny from me.

They tried calling my wife and getting money from her.......during which time she convieniently forgot how to speak english...........no calls from them in months now.

Originally Posted by Plantman

YOU married a foreigner? What kind of a conservative are you?

Originally Posted by J. R. B.

Most of our telemarketers call from out of state usually from down south(I can tell by the drawl). Here is one that I used it worked and I had fun.
Telemarketer-- Mr. J.R.B. I am from the blah, blah, blah, fund and I would like to know if you would like to donate.
Me-- Haven't you been listening to the news?
Telemarketer-- No why?
Me-- Then you haven't heard that we had another Indian uprising here in North Dakota and I'm still trying to patch things back together. My neighbor even lost his scalp.
Telemarketer-- I'm so sorry to hear that Mr. J.R.B. I hope that everthing turns out alright and I won't bother you anymore.
She never did.

Originally Posted by boneheaddoctor

I'm going to try this one next call I answer.............

Do you have any recipies for cat........I ran over one on the way home and would hate to let it go to waste.

Originally Posted by J. R. B.

Great one! Do you mind if I use it?

Originally Posted by boneheaddoctor

feel free to. Only one condition .....you need to tell us what their answer is.