If you were to die today, why would GOD let you into HEAVEN?
 

Lets hear it! ;)

Whose god?

Oooo.. maybe they're all the same god!

God? Heaven? What are you talking about?:confused:

I have formed a new religion. It is the culmination of all previous religions and corrects their mistakes. If you join of your own free will you will go to heaven and for being one of the first, your name will be revered for eternity on Earth.

Send me $10 and you are in.

Call for more information at 867-5309 and tell them you want it.

FYI-For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.

Too bad worship at the Church of Jenny doesn't correct spelling also...:D

Sorry, she's unavailable. I live with that one.

Faith without works is dead.:D

I give 73 virgins for all martyrs.

But wait, there's more!

If you bring your family, I will throw in complete protection from Djinns and daemonic possessions so long as your whole family stays true and pays their dues.

Did a god create heaven and man, or did man create god and heaven? If the latter, will it be just like Earth, but without taxes? ;)

Those 72 virgins went to CATHOLIC GIRLS' SCHOOLS.:mad:

not that there is anything wrong with that:D http://members.aol.com/pollysci/schoolgirl1.gif

I would like to turn that question around on you:
?NEVAEH otni uoy tel DOG dluow yhw ,yadot eid ot erew uoy fI

That's a good one.

:bowrofl:

Because I love my dog and she loves me.

:D

That is assuming that once one dies, one wants to go there.

Don't know if I want to get in. If its like the Heaven in South Park, hell looks like more fun.:D

Jesus said the Kingdom of Heaven is within you. Kinda jibes with the Buddhist and Taoist concepts of enlightenment, IMHO.

I used to see Christians of some stripe, Campus Crusade For Christ I think, set up at tables on college campuses, with a sign that read:

"Answer these two questions to find out if you're going to heaven."

:silly:

That's a pretty presumptuous claim to that kind of knowledge, methinks.

Reminds me of yet another of my favorite bumper stickers:

"Dog is my co-pilot."

:D

Mike

I'll only agree to this "go to heaven" business if THESE girls are waiting there for me.

http://www.cbs.com/specials/victoria...eries/2/07.jpg

:D
Mike

Yeah, I remember those. Every Volvo station wagon in Berkeley has that, it's required.

Is that one labrador or two you have in there.

Actually, it's three Basset Hounds, in the back of my Mercedes wagon.

:)

Mike

So what's your favorite musical?Annie get your Nug?

Because I can spell Czechoslovakia and drive a Mercedes Benz...

Because the blood of Christ was shed to forgive the sins of the whole world, and I believe in that. It doesn't get any simpler.

Wow . . .
 

. . . took two whole pages before we got serious on this thing.

I dunno, but I'd like to think the way I treat people, including the furry small persons known as animals, will build me some credit Up Yonder.

When my late Maine Coon cat's health began to fail when he was 14, I hung in there with him. I fed him through a stomach tube for a whole summer, then gave him insulin injections for his diabetes for nearly two years more. I was there at the end, when the doctor gave him his final injection (and he turned his head and growled at her). I sprinkled his ashes up in the mountains and paid for a little lucite memorial plaque at the Denver Dumb Friends League.

Most important, I didn't do any of this because I thought it would earn me points in heaven. I did it because he was my friend, and I was responsible for him.

.

Is that Christina Applegate in that pic?

.

Benz, that was a moving story.

I recently listened to Bill Bryson's A Short History of Nearly Everything. In the closing chapter he talks about how mankind has the intelligence and the ability to both preserve animal species or to wipe them all from the face of the earth. It was a very interesting discourse.

The furry creatures in the world would be much better off if there were more people like you.

St. Francis of Asisis would be proud of you.

My dog would make a lousy co-pilot. He refuses to read a map. :eek:

I am serious.

Mike

I am still waiting for someone to produce one about Teddy Roosevelt and George Washington Goethals:
A man, a plan, a canal, Panama.

"The gates of hell are locked from the inside by man's free choice."

Sartre

Hell is defined by some as separation from gods. I believe that Sartre is saying that some of us want nothing to do with gods, whether that is because we don't believe in any or that we would not want to consort with them, should they exist. Or both.

You can change the number of posts per page in the User Control Panel ;)

If hell is eternal torment (another common definition) then Sartre would be saying that we are the undying authors of our own torment.

B

... probably because God has a sense of humor.

While standing in line and in a brilliant display of cynical existentialism Sartre was heard to say that “Hell is other people.”

... or a great sense of irony.

... or was drunk.

….but of course, being an existentialist, he knew the comment was meaningless….

Aren't we? To some degree at least?

BTW, last night I was watching Young Frankestein. I was looking for the scene depicted on your avatar. There are so many times during the film when he stikes that pose. Your avatar, however, seems to come from the opening scenes, when he is still teaching at the medical school.

Funny guy, funny movie.

Because I tell him to

Saint Peter is my bi+ch

John 3:16
 

Correct! Strange that there has only been one reply on a serious note.

Another I like to add- John 3:16 - For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life!

It's a ridiculous and ambiguous question... Why would you expect serious responses?....

Mike

The question is subject to both serious and humorous interpretations/responses.

It all depends on one's POV.

If I was God I would have a great time watching humans trying to figure out my "plan" for them. I may even get a good chuckle or two.

OK, you asked for it, I'm going to type that title backwards:

A man, a plan, a canal, Panama.

Pallendromes, pallendromes, where do you roam, pallendromes, pallendromes, so far from home.

Good point.

My point of view is a little different: If I were God, I would NOT be the egotistical, intolerant, humorless, money-hungry bastard that most religions make him out to be.

If God is truly God, then one would think that he has done pretty well for himself, right?... Pretty much has everything he could ever want or need, since he created it all himself, eh?....

So why does almost every damned religion on the planet insist that he needs constant worship and adoration and servitude and money from us lowly humans?.....

It all seems a bit ridiculous to me. The god I would believe in isn't short on cash, and wouldn't need constant ego-stroking.

Mike

Interesting prespectives Mike.
I've come to think about 'God' mostly in terms of scale.
He might consider us as much as we consider one of our liver cells. Not mutch until it stops doing its job and starts off on some cancerous path.
But no analogy is complete.

Except he really does not need us, or does he?

Yours is an interesting perspective as well, but....

If it is "our job" to provide constant worship, groveling, humility, indentured servitude, and financial support....


...then I quit. I hereby submit my resignation.

;)

Mike