That's funny. It's not out of the question. My mother in law had the hots for my uncle when they were young. My uncle's wife died about six months ago. Maybe she's had plans to hook up with him for all these years!

The problem with a larger apartment is that my father in law is pretty domestically helpless. He's very hard pressed to do any cooking for himself so she would have to do this. I think this would keep the resentment simmering.

__________________
1977 300d 70k--sold 08
1985 300TD 185k+
1984 307d 126k--sold 8/03
1985 409d 65k--sold 06
1984 300SD 315k--daughter's car
1979 300SD 122k--sold 2/11
1999 Fuso FG Expedition Camper
1993 GMC Sierra 6.5 TD 4x4
1982 Bluebird Wanderlodge CAT 3208--Sold 2/13

It just as easy to cook for 2 as it is for one. At times when shes not around, theres always the microwave. Encourage her to travel and visit to get her out of the house some, during which time they can hire a person to come in to clean and cook for him.

__________________
1985 380SE Blue/Blue - 230,000 miles
2012 Subaru Forester 5-speed
2005 Toyota Sienna
2004 Chrysler Sebring convertible
1999 Toyota Tacoma

I found out that the local county council will provide sitters for her to get out of the house, so travel and getting out of the house is an option that might work.
I doubt that either one of them has ever used a microwave in their lives. She still cooks fresh meals every day, bakes pies, cakes etc. They probably don't even know what the frozen food section of the grocery store looks like. When she went to England and left him behind, she cooked weeks worth of meals in advance and put them in the freezer for him.

__________________
1977 300d 70k--sold 08
1985 300TD 185k+
1984 307d 126k--sold 8/03
1985 409d 65k--sold 06
1984 300SD 315k--daughter's car
1979 300SD 122k--sold 2/11
1999 Fuso FG Expedition Camper
1993 GMC Sierra 6.5 TD 4x4
1982 Bluebird Wanderlodge CAT 3208--Sold 2/13

K.E.,

I've an elderly parent I'm caring for presently (no troubles,She's a sweetheart)

One of Mom's childhood friends almost got divorced 15 years ago by her husband
of 40 years.The friend had the initial stages of some sort of terribly debilitating
mental and physical progressive illness (Parkinson's,Alzhimer's) and the husband
just thought that his wife was turning into a *****.After clinical testing and
counseling of both parties , He stood by her until her demise 2 years ago.He
passed away last year.

When we promise to honor,support and love someone "till death do us part"
the actual fulfillment of those vows may include the assistance of extended family.

'Having a large family of brother's and sister's who can act as a support group
can make this a less burdensome task.

I remember my mother changing diapers on seven of her nine children and
helping out as needed.

I will add you and yours to my prayer list.

Kerry- I am sorry you have to deal with this situation and I agree with BOT, get some legal and medical professional help sounds like the MIL might have a bit of dementia?

__________________
"It's normal for these things to empty your wallet and break your heart in the process."
2012 SLK 350
1987 420 SEL

It could be an onset of dementia. My sister in law thinks it depression. But the pattern has been around in their relationship for many years, so I don't see it as much of anything new. My MIL was always the outspoken aggressive one and my FIL was more of a laid back 'accept the world as it is' kind of guy. This has never sat well with my MIL despite the fact that she has believed for religious reasons that she has to accept the authority of her husband. She's played the subservient role for years, despite her innate tendency to do otherwise, and I think it's coming out as resentment in her golden years. My FIL's failing health is the lance that pierced the pustule.

__________________
1977 300d 70k--sold 08
1985 300TD 185k+
1984 307d 126k--sold 8/03
1985 409d 65k--sold 06
1984 300SD 315k--daughter's car
1979 300SD 122k--sold 2/11
1999 Fuso FG Expedition Camper
1993 GMC Sierra 6.5 TD 4x4
1982 Bluebird Wanderlodge CAT 3208--Sold 2/13

I agree with Bot. BUT, twer it me and my parents, due to MILs maltreatment of FIL, I would petition the Court for a conservator to be appointed to see to your FIL, because MIL may be squandering the estate, not obtaining his prescriptions, ect.....Putting her ass on an allowance may also cool her behaviour a little. I only mention this possible solution, because trying to find an elder lawyer, your wife will probably have to narrow the issues a little.