Kid needs help - Page 2 - PeachParts Mercedes-Benz Forum

BENZ-LGB · #16 03-29-2007, 09:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Austin85

As long as he doesn't decide to go to the military or law school you are OK...

....

Hey watch that...I can "give" you a criminal record you know.

BENZ-LGB · #17 03-29-2007, 09:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by truckinik

Yes, I agree with most everyone here. Being only 28 years old, and a business owner with many regrets still. I own a trucking company, of which I also drive one of my trucks. I wish, so often that I had persued something else though. I make a $hit load of money, but still not happy. I two major accounts with a leer service and ship items all over the world which also gets me world travel, to meet new clients. Still not happy.. Wish I'd done something else,Teacher perhaps, anything to do with wildlife or science, executive/Office related. Or Law enforcement, CIA,DEA,FBI something along those lines. The point I'm making is.
I was more or less forced to either get out into the work force, or go to college. My father and mother gave me problems while I tried to "Find myself".
My father forbade me from his business (International arms dealer) due to politics, legal and illegal practices, morals, ethics, and generally a bad way of life. See movie called "Lord of war" Nicholas Cage = My father. Anyways, being forbidden from the "Family Business" and not sure yet what I wanted to do. I was more or less pressured into the work force by my parental units. This is a regret now for me. I feel if they had given me a chance, to "Find myself" I'd be doing something more self fulfilling. Money is definately nowhere near everything. I can spend, and spend for the rest of my life right now with the money I've got put away, and not be happy. I have plans for attending school again full time in September. I'm taking placement tests, and going to finally decide on which one of these options I'll go with. Since I love kids, and passing knowledge on. I will probably persue a career in teaching. I don't need money as I said, but I will be happy with the job. Of course I'll keep my trucks, and Company and it will run itself as it has for a while now anyways. I'll just be out of the truck, and in college, and working instead. Let your son think for a while, about what he'd like to do for himself.
At that age, and with the way kids, and education are today, it is wiser to let him choose, and take his time doing it. Do not worry. He will make a sound decision for himself and he will also consult you for input on it before he finalizes his plan. If it's a year from now, so be it. Just try not to let him get stuck too far in the work force, for atleast a year. (In other words, No career type jobs w/unions, or any of that) No major commitments, with long term obligations. If he ends up in some union job, or something like that, it is possible that he will be blinded by the bennies, pay whatever. He may regret a decision to stay there, a couple of years from now, and have wasted a lot of time finding out. Keep us posted

Hey, One more thing...Keep him out of a big truck, if you can. It's a business a lot of drivers, unintentionally get "sucked into" and regret after time. Most drivers out here started by saying..."I'll drive for a few years, see the country, and go do something else" This doesn't work. It's hard to persue something else if you're behind the wheel of a truck all the time. You can't attend college (Unless online Joke) and you can't even put in a job application, or check out places for school or work. I can't look at colleges, for full time school, 'til I get my rear-end out of the truck perminently. Today I'm in Ohio, Yeterday, Nebraska, tomorrow North Carolina. No time /way, to do much else.

That was a very insightful post (unlike your post about getting a ticket while smoking in your turck's cab

)

You make a couple of good points:

1. It is important for parents to gie their kids the freedom to find themselves and not push them into directions that the kid may hate for the rest of his/her life.

2. Money is not everything. i know lots of people with money who are NOT happy. I gave up a practice at a big lawfirm because even though I ws making good money I was not a happy camper. Now I am "poorer" but happier.

3. The trucking life sounds exciting, but it can be a trap. I have a friend who owns his own rig in Georgia, but the work is hard, the hours are crummy and after a while the excitement of the open road wears off.

Are you a fan of "The Critic?"

The Critic

There is one real funny episode where he quits his job as a film critic and becomes a long haul driver. I think you will enjoy the humor there.

Buy the set, watch the trucking episode and enjoy the rest of the series. you will not be disappointed.

I really lke the one where he goes to Cuba!

raymr · #18 03-29-2007, 09:28 AM

Thanks all for the great suggestions. This morning I wrote a list of options for him:

- community college and part-time work

- AmeriCorps for 1 year

- US Coast Guard enlistment

- return to CalPoly with weekly drug/tobacco testing and a curriculum change
to match his strong highschool subjects

We think drugs might be an issue, though he says otherwise. He's got the charisma thing, but he's not a team player, as in organized sports or clubs. As we have said here elsewhere, when you're in a hole, the first thing you do is stop digging.

Kuan · #19 03-29-2007, 09:29 AM

How'd he get into Cal Poly anyway?

Have you considered a tutor? I've been one and I know a good one can do wonders.

raymr · #20 03-29-2007, 09:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kuan

How'd he get into Cal Poly anyway?

Have you considered a tutor? I've been one and I know a good one can do wonders.

I wondered that too.

Then I heard they had to fill a quota for male engineering students, or some such. He says he got tutoring during his free time. Not sure how much, or whether it even made a difference. That's why I feel he is squandering this huge opportunity, we are trying so hard to make sense to him, and its just not 'clicking'.

Kuan · #21 03-29-2007, 09:38 AM

Nah he didn't get tutoring.

BENZ-LGB · #22 03-29-2007, 09:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by raymr

Thanks all for the great suggestions. This morning I wrote a list of options for him:

- community college and part-time work

- AmeriCorps for 1 year

- US Coast Guard enlistment

- return to CalPoly with weekly drug/tobacco testing and a curriculum change
to match his strong highschool subjects

We think drugs might be an issue, though he says otherwise. He's got the charisma thing, but he's not a team player, as in organized sports or clubs. As we have said here elsewhere, when you're in a hole, the first thing you do is stop digging.

Sounds like a good approach.

CalPoly at San Luis Obispo has a nice campus, but a lot of distractions, i.e., the beach.

Every kid goes through a phase during the first year of college.

I drank and partied a lot. Fortunately it did not affect my grades. Once I got that out of my system, I settled down and...well, here I am--an "old conservative."

Sounds like you love and care a lot for yur kid.

That my friend, is half the battle!

Buena suerte!

Unleashed · #23 03-29-2007, 09:52 AM

Let him drop into what he wants. I pretty much failed everything at high school, don't have any college or university qualifications but I'm still in a better job, earning more, with better future potentials than any of my friends. I just gto a job as the drawing office boy in a metalworks as a fill in until I decided what to do, enjoyed the company and the overall work, but not the job itself. I moved into estimating, and that's where I am now. I'm also a qualified welder through the company, I qualified for site work and next year I'll start training as a Civil Engineer.
All in all a success story, from not knowing where I was going to having a good career purely by luck. Hopefully the same will happen to your son.

Kuan · #24 03-29-2007, 09:58 AM

Whatever you do, don't let him become an IE.

Hatterasguy · #25 03-29-2007, 08:47 PM

Going to a state or community college with an undecleared major, is a great way to stay in school; and figure out what you want to major in. I did it for a year and a half, and it worked great. Figure the first two years of school you are pretty much doing requirements, anyway,

Ara T. · #26 03-29-2007, 08:54 PM

He should go to community college. Not much sense in you paying money for school when he doesn't know what he is going to school for anyways.

truckinik · #27 03-29-2007, 09:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BENZ-LGB

That was a very insightful post (unlike your post about getting a ticket while smoking in your turck's cab

)

You make a couple of good points:

1. It is important for parents to gie their kids the freedom to find themselves and not push them into directions that the kid may hate for the rest of his/her life.

2. Money is not everything. i know lots of people with money who are NOT happy. I gave up a practice at a big lawfirm because even though I ws making good money I was not a happy camper. Now I am "poorer" but happier.

3. The trucking life sounds exciting, but it can be a trap. I have a friend who owns his own rig in Georgia, but the work is hard, the hours are crummy and after a while the excitement of the open road wears off.

Are you a fan of "The Critic?"

The Critic

There is one real funny episode where he quits his job as a film critic and becomes a long haul driver. I think you will enjoy the humor there.

Buy the set, watch the trucking episode and enjoy the rest of the series. you will not be disappointed.

I really lke the one where he goes to Cuba!

Well, Thanks for the compliment. I will check out "The Critic". I haven't seen it before, but if it is anything at all like "Family Guy", or "Simpsons", I'm sure I'll enjoy it. Sitting in my truck right now, in Whitsett, North Carolina, Near Greensboro, at a truck stop, and wish I had some "New T.V." to watch. Sucks to just sit here, and look at my dog, and ponder my next mods, and repairs, on all of my Mercedes. Wish I was at home in Ct. working on one of them right now. Anyone out here, in the Winston Salem, Greensboro area, of North Carolina wanna hang out.. Tonight or tomorrow? Maybe grab some lunch and talk cars for a while. I'll be in town for atleast the day tomorrow, and possibly the whole weekend.

benzforlife · #28 03-29-2007, 09:07 PM

i think that comunity college for a year or two might be a good option until he figures out what he wants to do.
the military might be a good thing for him if he needs some guidance, but i think it will come to him with time....

t walgamuth · #29 03-29-2007, 09:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by raymr

Thanks all for the great suggestions. This morning I wrote a list of options for him:

- community college and part-time work

- AmeriCorps for 1 year

- US Coast Guard enlistment

- return to CalPoly with weekly drug/tobacco testing and a curriculum change
to match his strong highschool subjects

We think drugs might be an issue, though he says otherwise. He's got the charisma thing, but he's not a team player, as in organized sports or clubs. As we have said here elsewhere, when you're in a hole, the first thing you do is stop digging.

you look to be on the right track.

my son was on the edge of flunking out of purdue, living with an alcoholic and drinking way too much himself.

his mom was ready to cut him loose. i said "let me try to work something out with him". i convinced him to move into our basement apartment. i fixed it up so it would give him privacy. i drafted an agreement whereby he agreed to spend 40 hours a week working on his studies. we made up time sheets, even.

he bought into it and within a year and a half was getting good grades. he graduated and is now selling real estate and doing very well, beginning his third year. he has self discipline and puts in a lot of hours at it. he also is polite and personable and is respected by the other older realtors.

but there was a while there when we were afraid he was going to wind up dead with what he was doing.

oh yeah, he is married with a son and his wife is expecting twins! yikes!

you are on the right track. tough love.

tom w

raymr · #30 03-30-2007, 08:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by t walgamuth

you look to be on the right track.

my son was on the edge of flunking out of purdue, living with an alcoholic and drinking way too much himself.

his mom was ready to cut him loose. i said "let me try to work something out with him". i convinced him to move into our basement apartment. i fixed it up so it would give him privacy. i drafted an agreement whereby he agreed to spend 40 hours a week working on his studies. we made up time sheets, even.

he bought into it and within a year and a half was getting good grades. he graduated and is now selling real estate and doing very well, beginning his third year. he has self discipline and puts in a lot of hours at it. he also is polite and personable and is respected by the other older realtors.

but there was a while there when we were afraid he was going to wind up dead with what he was doing.

oh yeah, he is married with a son and his wife is expecting twins! yikes!

you are on the right track. tough love.

tom w

I don't think we're being tough enough. He's going back this weekend. We reviewed his highschool grades and decided English and writing were his strong areas, as well as Spanish. We managed to drop the engineering and science classes, and switched to journalism. In the back of my mind though, I can't help thinking he just got another 3 months of partying and fun-in-the-sun out of us....