Kid needs help - Page 3 - PeachParts Mercedes-Benz Forum

t walgamuth · #31 03-30-2007, 08:49 AM

well, you need to somehow make him accountable for his actions.

you will figure it out.

spys, maybe?

tom w

aklim · #32 03-30-2007, 09:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by raymr

He had a 3.0 weighted GPA. He's 18 and attending Cal Poly. I have no problem with him 'finding himself', but he is burning up lots of money in the process which, unfortunately for me, doesn't grow on trees.

He is 18. Let him burn all the money he wants to but as long as it is his own.

aklim · #33 03-30-2007, 09:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by raymr

I don't think we're being tough enough. He's going back this weekend. We reviewed his highschool grades and decided English and writing were his strong areas, as well as Spanish. We managed to drop the engineering and science classes, and switched to journalism. In the back of my mind though, I can't help thinking he just got another 3 months of partying and fun-in-the-sun out of us....

Well, you just gave him another 3 month pass so there is nothing you can do about it. If he doesn't shape up, let him do what he wants and find his own direction. When he has to pay for his direction, he will shape up, most likely. That or you won't have to go find your money tree.

raymr · #34 03-30-2007, 09:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aklim

He is 18. Let him burn all the money he wants to but as long as it is his own.

He already burned through the money he earned last summer in a matter of weeks. He really has no money to burn. Sometimes I think he really just wants to be a street person.

Kuan · #35 03-30-2007, 09:52 AM

Nothing wrong with that. Just make sure he stays alive. I lived sans money for coupla years and had the best time of my life.

aklim · #36 03-30-2007, 10:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by raymr

He already burned through the money he earned last summer in a matter of weeks. He really has no money to burn. Sometimes I think he really just wants to be a street person.

Well, if you stop enabling him by giving him more months to party, it would mean he now has to think what he wants to do. Till that day comes, why should he? It is just like welfare. As long as they are getting more money to pop babies out of the oven, why should they change anything?

He wants to stay at your place? No problem. Pay rent like anyone else. That way he HAS to get a job. A few days on the street might make him realize that he best get a job. After that, he might realize that he either has to excel at something or get an education or whatever. That will make him want to find his path instead of lollygagging.

raymr · #37 03-30-2007, 10:18 AM

We have done the withholding stuff already. Thing is, if we don't give him money for 'incidentals', he goes and finds a part-time job for spending cash. Then his grades drop because he spends his extra time working instead of studying. I know this is starting to sound like a broken record (I bet a lot of people here don't know what that means!)..

aklim · #38 03-30-2007, 10:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by raymr

We have done the withholding stuff already. Thing is, if we don't give him money for 'incidentals', he goes and finds a part-time job for spending cash. Then his grades drop because he spends his extra time working instead of studying. I know this is starting to sound like a broken record (I bet a lot of people here don't know what that means!)..

Let them drop. He will be suspended or removed. At which point, he will have his own decisions to make. All you are doing is enabling this state of affairs to continue.

Angel · #39 03-30-2007, 12:50 PM

Can I assume he has no wife/no kids/No other dependants ?

I think our (the forum's) point is that he should be able to get to all his classes and work PT at the same time (weekends, nights, other times...). That kind of time management is expected in the corporate world I exist in.

Its tough being a parent, I don't envy you this situation.

-Joh

raymr · #40 03-30-2007, 02:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aklim

Let them drop. He will be suspended or removed. At which point, he will have his own decisions to make. All you are doing is enabling this state of affairs to continue.

I know. Its tough watching your own kid crash and burn though.

Hatterasguy · #41 03-30-2007, 02:18 PM

I'm able to work almost full time(not this semester so much because I'm between jobs), and go to school full time, and I still have time to screw around on this forum.

Anyway I didn't type that to brag, I wrote it because I know a lot of people who work 20-40 hours a week and go to school; a lot of people do it. Its not that hard, it trains you to take advnatage of your time. 40 hours a week is a lot and startsto wear you down, but 20 is very doable.

Next fall I'm going to have 5 300-400 level business classes, (ones an L so lots of writing). Be working at Re/max full time, and have some real estate projects on the side. Thats going to be a fun few months...

jlomon · #42 03-30-2007, 02:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aklim

Let them drop. He will be suspended or removed. At which point, he will have his own decisions to make. All you are doing is enabling this state of affairs to continue.

I'm curious. Do you have kids of your own?

hill · #43 03-30-2007, 02:36 PM

Find him the crappiest job you can find (labor intensive). After a year or two he will probably welcome college and attack the difficult subjects.

aklim · #44 03-30-2007, 08:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by raymr

I know. Its tough watching your own kid crash and burn though.

Well, you can either watch him crash and burn and hope he will learn to make better decisions or keep propping him up till your money and life runs out and then KNOW he will crash and burn after that. Later, it will be harder. That is the difference. The sooner he crashes and burns, the sooner he can start and pick himself up, if he is going to do it. The later he tries to pick himself up, the harder, if not more impossible it will be.

aklim · #45 03-30-2007, 09:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jlomon

I'm curious. Do you have kids of your own?

No. Not human ones anyways. Didn't want to do that. But let me guess what you will say "Oh, if you don't have kids of your own, you will never understand."