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#1
08-21-2007, 04:22 PM
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Sometimes life for a dwarf sucks
British dwarf's penis gets stuck to hoover
Mon Aug 20, 3:50 PM ET EDINBURGH (AFP) - A dwarf performer at the Edinburgh fringe festival had to be rushed to hospital after his penis got stuck to a vacuum cleaner during an act that went horribly awry. ADVERTISEMENT Daniel Blackner, or "Captain Dan the Demon Dwarf", was due to perform at the Circus of Horrors at the festival known for its oddball, offbeat performances. The main part of his act saw him appear on stage with a vacuum cleaner attached to his member through a special attachment. The attachment broke before the performance and Blackner tried to fix it using extra-strong glue, but unfortunately only let it dry for 20 seconds instead of the 20 minutes required. He then joined it directly to his organ. The end result? A solid attachment, laughter, mortification and ... hospitalisation. "It was the most embarrassing moment of my life when I got wheeled into a packed AE with a vacuum attached to me," Blackner said. "I just wished the ground could swallow me up. Luckily, they saw me quickly so the embarrassment was short-lived." 
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#2
08-21-2007, 04:29 PM
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I used to tell people that my "Dirt devil" vacumn could suck up children and small animals, now I can add this too it. On another note- when i worked in the ER we had a guy come in one night with a vibrator stuck up his whoo haaa and it was in the on position- had to wait for the batteries to die before they could fish it out......
 Try filling out the paper work for that one with a straight face!
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"It's normal for these things to empty your wallet and break your heart in the process." 2012 SLK 350 1987 420 SEL Last edited by Mistress; 08-21-2007 at 04:39 PM.
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#3
08-21-2007, 04:31 PM
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That must have been a "Dong Devil."
__________________
" We have nothing to fear but the main stream media itself . . . ."- Adapted from Franklin D Roosevelt for the 21st century  OBK #55 1998 Lincoln Continental - Sold Max 1984 300TD 285,000 miles - Sold The Dee8gonator 1987 560SEC 196,000 miles - Sold Orgasmatron - 2006 CLS500 90,000 miles 2002 C320 Wagon 122,000 miles 2016 AMG GTS 12,000 miles
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#4
08-21-2007, 04:52 PM
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Nothing sucks like an Electrolux
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It is a truism that almost any sect, cult, or religion will legislate its creed into law if it acquires the political power to do so. Robert A. Heinlein 09 Jetta TDI 1985 300D
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#5
08-21-2007, 04:58 PM
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Dwarf with wank in vacuum hospitalized...
Quote:
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Never a dull moment at Berry Hill Farm. Last edited by R Leo; 08-21-2007 at 05:09 PM.
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#6
08-21-2007, 05:01 PM
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De pain! De pain!
__________________
" We have nothing to fear but the main stream media itself . . . ."- Adapted from Franklin D Roosevelt for the 21st century OBK #55 1998 Lincoln Continental - Sold Max 1984 300TD 285,000 miles - Sold The Dee8gonator 1987 560SEC 196,000 miles - Sold Orgasmatron - 2006 CLS500 90,000 miles 2002 C320 Wagon 122,000 miles 2016 AMG GTS 12,000 miles
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#7
08-21-2007, 05:03 PM
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He should have switched it from suck to blow.
__________________
Satan creates nothing: he only ruins everything. He does not invent: he tampers. And his followers are no different ~ Archbishop Carlo Maria Vigaṇ
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#8
08-21-2007, 05:09 PM
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I love this place.
__________________
"It's normal for these things to empty your wallet and break your heart in the process." 2012 SLK 350 1987 420 SEL
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#9
08-21-2007, 05:13 PM
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Quote:
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01 Ford Excursion Powerstroke 99 E300 Turbodiesel 91 Vette with 383 motor 05 Polaris Sportsman 800 EFI 06 Polaris Sportsman 500 EFI 03 SeaDoo GTX SC Red 03 SeaDoo GTX SC Yellow 04 Tailgator 21 ft Toy Hauler 11 Harley Davidson 883 SuperLow
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#12
08-21-2007, 05:29 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Satan creates nothing: he only ruins everything. He does not invent: he tampers. And his followers are no different ~ Archbishop Carlo Maria Vigaṇ
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#13
08-21-2007, 06:35 PM
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"Suck my dear,......... blow is just an expression".
WC Fields Tom W
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[SIGPIC] Diesel loving autocrossing grandpa Architect. 08 Dodge 3/4 ton with Cummins & six speed; I have had about 35 benzes. I have a 39 Studebaker Coupe Express pickup in which I have had installed a 617 turbo and a five speed manual.  [SIGPIC]..I also have a 427 Cobra replica with an aluminum chassis.
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#14
08-21-2007, 10:50 PM
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A guy calls his buddy, the horse rancher, and says he's sending a friend over to look at a horse. His buddy asks. "How will I recognize him?"
"That's easy. He's a midget with a speech impediment". So, the midget shows up, and the guy asks him if he's looking for a male or female horse. "A female horth." So he shows him a prized filly. "Nith lookin horth. Can I thee her eyeth?" So the guy picks up the midget and he gives the horse's eyes the once over. "Nith eyeth, can I thee her earzth?" So he picks the little fella up again, and shows him the horse's ears.. "Nith earzth, can I see her mouf?" The rancher is gettin' pretty ticked off by this point, but he picks him up again and shows him the horse's mouth. "Nice mouf, can I see her twat?" Totally mad as fire at this point, the rancher grabs him under his arms and rams the midget's head as far as he can up the horse's twat, pulls him out and slams him on the ground. The midget gets up, sputtering and coughing. "Perhapth I thould rephrase that; "Can I thee her wun awound a Widdlebit"?
__________________
 Behind every great man is a great woman. Behind every great woman is a great behind.
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#15
08-21-2007, 10:55 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Satan creates nothing: he only ruins everything. He does not invent: he tampers. And his followers are no different ~ Archbishop Carlo Maria Vigaṇ
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