That is when you do everything in your power to make her life miserable till one of you dies or hell freezes over.

That is something people try to use as a refuge. Quite often, another 1000 days may not be sufficient to make things better. Sometimes 1000 years might not be enough.

I'll try to remember to NOT call you if I feel inclined to blow my brains out, Aklim. I think I'll call you "Mr. Optimism."

I've since "recovered" quite nicely. I live in a very nice house with a pool that I own outright. I am married to a great wife and we both have very good jobs that we work from home 95% of the time at. Am very happy!

She on the other hand I found out has been in and out of rehab three times for meth. Been arrested twice more for drugs and theft. I also see that she has declared bankruptcy last year! Good! :D

Meth?! That's some wicked stuff. I don't know if I'd wish that on an ex-wife even. Maybe on the guy I used to work for . . . .

I didn't wish it on her... believe me, it was her OWN idea. Not mine!

Same here except it was the divorce in the first marriage!

I got a great daughter out of the deal though, so it was worth the pain.

Tom W

And I would treat you like an adult. If you thought about it and wanted to do it, have at it. Sorry, I don't do the "Friends don't let friends....." thing.

Reason I said that is that you don't know what the mentality of the person you are dealing with quite often. For instance, if I discovered that you crossed me once, hell will freeze over and heaven burn before I even consider forgiving.

I thought there was no such thing as a "recovered addict"? IOW you are always at risk of going back more so than others? Quite a few people I know of who are addicts have told me time and time again that they will NEVER be normal. If they even take a sip or toke or whatever they were addicted to, they are more than likely going back again. Not sure.

Perhaps. But what did YOU do to make her get more pain and suffering?

What an absolute waste of your own life.

If you have the mentality to actually let someone else’s actions control you to the point of spending the rest of your own life making theirs miserable…. It must really suck to be you.

Question: Do you consider people who spend time to do arts and crafts wasting their life? What about those who fly kites or model airplanes? I take it as a hobby. Something I enjoy. If you cross me and I get the chance later on to make your life miserable, it gives me pleasure. Just like those who do arts and crafts. It gives me a rush to see people I don't like suffer. Even more so when I am the one that inflicted the suffering.

Wow. I absolutely understated that “sucks to be you” part.

Sorry. (And in more ways than you are capable of comprehending, for sure.)

Not sure I mentioned that phrase here so I am not sure what you are trying to say with that phrase. Do I spend every night and day plotting and scheming? No. However, I will always be on the lookout WRT those that caused me problems deliberately. If there is any way I can make their life miserable down the road and give myself pleasure, why not? Think of all the time you wasted on your hobbies, be it golf, making crafts, etc, etc. Consider this as a hobby of mine. Doesn't take all day but if the chance provides itself, why wouldn't I take it and make myself happier? It does give me pleasure when I watched someone I didn't like have a migraine attack and I even found his expensive glasses and destroyed them. It took me all of 5 mins to destroy the glasses and a bout of sex I had to give up to watch him suffer. However, that viewing made it worthwhile. You spend your time doing things that give you joy too, don't you?

As my old instructor used to say "Sorry don't feed the bulldog".

I was working off shore Iran during the Iran/Iraq war is 1988. My wife and kids had gone back to the States in preparation for us moving back permanently. I got a radio/telephone call at 0300 hrs. telling me that my mother had died. I had to spend another 2 months off shore before I could get back in to Dubai. It took me another 3 weeks or so before it got the house transfered, the car sold, and everything shipped back. Not a fun time.

Sure I do.

Lowering myself to someone else’s level for the simple pleasure of knowing I did to them what they did to me, is not one of them. If that’s how you like living, fine.

I’ve been screwed a few times, sure. But I’m more inclined to walk away from them (and again, if we ever cross) than to lower myself to plotting revenge. I’d rather put that energy into being happy with my own life, without bringing them back into it again. It’s called “moving on”.

I’ve been around long enough to see how simple Karma can wreck havoc on those who have done me or those I care for, far worse than I could ever plot.

Have a nice life, dude.