Divorce - Page 2 - PeachParts Mercedes-Benz Forum

aklim · #16 09-14-2008, 12:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by iwrock

Family friend is a divorce attorney. He makes something like 40% on cases...

AFAIK, you can do a DIY divorce or do it cheaply if you and the Mrs can put your differences aside and play nice. But if you can't, well.... Think of it as 2 kids squabbling as to who gets to play with the toy. Well, somebody helps them figure it out but gets to play with the toy first.

raymr · #17 09-14-2008, 12:59 PM

Its a terrible situation when kids are involved. Some kids need the security of the family unit, no matter how dysfunctional it is. Others might not be affected by a divorce at all. Everyones different, and unfortunately the kids mental state often gets put on the back burner during divorce proceedings, and afterwards as well.

POS · #18 09-14-2008, 09:51 PM

The lawyers make the clients paranoid - like everyone is out to get them. In this case, it's the spouse.

A) I work hard to make sure all is good with my wife and I so I can try to keep divorce as a non-option.
B) If we ever do seperate, I'd like to think we could work out the split without lawyers.

Honus · #19 09-14-2008, 10:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aklim

IOW, Fools and their money are soon parted. No biggie to me...

It's a biggie because the parties have no idea how the legal system works. It is their lawyers' job to explain it to them.

Quote:

And how can the other side know that the first side didn't hire a shark? If I was divorcing the Mrs, how can I be sure that she won't hire a shark? How can she be sure I won't? As such, we each get our own shark.

My guess is that hiring a shark backfires more time than not.

aklim · #20 09-14-2008, 11:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dculkin

It's a biggie because the parties have no idea how the legal system works. It is their lawyers' job to explain it to them.

My guess is that hiring a shark backfires more time than not.

The question is whether the lawyer told them what was best for them or what they wanted. If the lawyer was asked "How should I make sure I get the most money from my soon to be ex?", should he give them the most economical solution or should he give them the answer to their question? Being ethical, he could say "Well, if we try to settle amicably we might save you the most money." OTOH he could say "We'll ask for $300000 and he will try whittle us down and we will settle at $150000." and make more money for himself.

I would think not. If I don't hire a shark, how can I be sure that my soon to be ex will not?

Jim B. · #21 09-15-2008, 05:25 AM

In the property fights, there comes a point of diminishing returns.

I knew one man who got divorced, whose wife's lawyer told her, "Why do want to keep paying me $250 per hour to argue about who will get a $6 pair of scissors?"

Angel · #22 09-15-2008, 08:05 AM

I'm a child of divorce, I was 16 when it happened. My mom thought that she was being abused, but now I don't believe her (she's said all kinds of carp since then...) so she checked the local laws, and all it took was an affadavit to get dad kicked out.

I kinda wish I could have lived with the "walking on eggshells" - I've seen the boatloads of crap that came from the divorce ("who has the kids this weekend", kids taking sides...temporarily, young ones with only one parent to go home to (where previously I had a stay at home mom)

. I can't make an objective judgment, but I think that sometimes, it might be better for the couple to stay at home "for the sake of the kids" - it would have been nice to have a father within walking distance, and a mother that was just as physically reachable.

-John

Dee8go · #23 09-15-2008, 08:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jim B.

In the property fights, there comes a point of diminishing returns.

I knew one man who got divorced, whose wife's lawyer told her, "Why do want to keep paying me $250 per hour to argue about who will get a $6 pair of scissors?"

That's exactly right, Jim. People will waste thousands of dollars finghting over stuff neither one of them cares about. Everything becomes laden with emotional symbolism.

I would rather give my ex and kids my money than to give it to a lawyer. It IS possible to get a divorce without too much acrimony (or ALI-mony, hopefully).

dannym · #24 09-15-2008, 09:28 AM

I was divorced about 10 years ago. I don't know how much I spent but it wasn't much.
I was appalled when a friend of mine told me how much money he spent and still didn't have a resolution. He told me the lawyers keep filing measures, counter measures, counter counter measures........ and so on forever.
I told him to go see his lawyer and tell him to GET ME A COURT DATE RIGHT AWAY. And if you don't I'm calling the BAR and anyone else who will listen.
He got a court date a few weeks later.
Unbelievable!

SwampYankee · #25 09-15-2008, 10:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JenTay

This year, I know of two couples going through a divorce. Each couple has two young kids. On the surface, no one would have guessed this was going on.

What the h*ll is going on???

They are all friendly and cordial about it until the lawyers get involved. All of a sudden, there are new demands that come from left field that seem more spiteful than practical.

Apparently, it costs a lot of money just to get the process going. Now all of them are working overtime to earn extra money to build up their war chest. Talk about that proverbial slippery slope.

Just want to vent.

It wouldn't surprise me if there are more and more financial problems behind the divorces. It's certainly a growing issue given the economy.

My employee's uncle is a successful divorce attorney and had one of his partners represent my employee in his divorce (wife wanted out and already seeing someone). Very contentious over everything especially custody of their son. On the surface, he made out well. He's got custody (his ex's new husband is a real scumbag so it's amazing that was a difficult to work out as it was) and she pays him palimony and child support. Under the surface he's got a $30K+ legal bill (at the "reduced" family rate) to work off.

AdvisorGuy · #26 09-15-2008, 10:44 AM

On one side, I have the Jerry Springer episode: Gary & Kim. Married in 1997 (we've all been friends since 1987) when their daughter was almost 5. Kim decided she wanted a divorce after some things came to light about Gary. The most serious was getting a b/j in a drunken stupor at his bachelor party in 1997. They've been separated for 2 years. She's delayed getting papers filed in her usual procrastinating ways and is expecting another man's child within the next week...
On the other side is the Law & Order episode with Tom in jail on $750,000 bail for attempting to hire a hit man (turned out to be undercover cop) to have Teresa killed....

I need to get new friends or become anti-social.....

aklim · #27 09-15-2008, 11:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SwampYankee

It wouldn't surprise me if there are more and more financial problems behind the divorces. It's certainly a growing issue given the economy.

My employee's uncle is a successful divorce attorney and had one of his partners represent my employee in his divorce (wife wanted out and already seeing someone). Very contentious over everything especially custody of their son. On the surface, he made out well. He's got custody (his ex's new husband is a real scumbag so it's amazing that was a difficult to work out as it was) and she pays him palimony and child support. Under the surface he's got a $30K+ legal bill (at the "reduced" family rate) to work off.

I think that financial problems are part of a divorce. However, I am not sure about it being a growing issue. If it were me and the economy is bad, I would be afraid of getting a divorce because of the cost and my job uncertainty. OTOH, if the economy is booming, WGAS? I can get another better paying job so I can afford to pay a little more to get divorced. At least, that is how I would think.

I do think that is going to be difficult to get the son from the mom. Somehow, I have the impression that the courts favor the mother over the father.

Dee8go · #28 09-15-2008, 11:58 AM

Some people have to make sure they let EVERYbody know what a bastard their ex is . . . . They usually don't realize how bad the whole process makes THEM look at the same time.

Dee8go · #29 09-15-2008, 12:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aklim

I think that financial problems are part of a divorce. However, I am not sure about it being a growing issue. If it were me and the economy is bad, I would be afraid of getting a divorce because of the cost and my job uncertainty. OTOH, if the economy is booming, WGAS? I can get another better paying job so I can afford to pay a little more to get divorced. At least, that is how I would think.

I do think that is going to be difficult to get the son from the mom. Somehow, I have the impression that the courts favor the mother over the father.

There are now people living in the same house because they can't afford the expenses of a divorce and separate dwellings. I think I've heard it called the "Stay at home divorce." Somepeople have mortgages for more than their house is worth and can't afford to get out of them.

aklim · #30 09-15-2008, 12:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HuskyMan

and on another note, both husband and wife's personal and private business is dragged out in divorce court proceedings (in some cases even written up in the newspaper). they ask a perfect stranger (the judge) to make decisions concerning their most personal private affairs. I'll never understand why people don't choose a no-contest out of court divorce.

much much smoother, a HECK of a lot less money (as in $30K PLUS legal bills) and your business remains your business.

What do you do when you reach an impasse? I want the kids every day and so do you? I won't budge and neither will you.