Sigh - PeachParts Mercedes-Benz Forum

ramonajim · #1 08-11-2009, 01:38 PM

Just in case things starting feeling oddly calm (NOT!), Ed's right hand has been numb off and on the past few days. Yesterday, he couldn't move it, and his tongue "got swollen."

Darling Wife and I tried to cajole, bully, guilt, and otherwise convince him to get to a doctor. He was "better" by the time we got there - no dice. Not going. "I'll go tomorrow if it is worse."

This morning, he can't move his arm at all. Sounds like a drunken sailor. Can't get himself dressed. STILL refusing to go to the ER. Darling Wife somehow manages to get him (all ~ 300 pounds of him vs. 108 pounds of her) into the car while I'm driving back to Frederick from work.

So here I sit, at the Cottage on Ma watch, while Meridythe is trying to convince Ed to tell the f'n doctor what has been going on. Parents aren't supposed to be this much work before they're 60.

Sigh.

kerry · #2 08-11-2009, 01:41 PM

Who's Ed? Those symptoms are ominous.

ramonajim · #3 08-11-2009, 01:57 PM

Ed is Darling Wife's 'adopted as dad' and therefore sorta my father in law. Half of the Ma & Ed team (they've been together for 18 years, never got married) that we moved into The Cottage for Ma and Ed here in Frederick a few months back so Darling Wife didn't have to drive 65 miles each way to take care of Ma after she got her lung cancer diagnosis.

Ma is kinda stable (lungs are clear, but cancer has spread to her brain - radiation treatments cut 'em to half their size, but all six tumors are still there) except that her vision is hosed (water in the sink is electric blue, yellow walls turn pink then grey) and her balance sucks. So leaving her alone isn't an option.

Ed has been out of work for several months, which works out well - he can be here all day with Ma, so Darling Wife's load is 'only' that of full time organizer, doc interpreter, bill payer, house cleaner, etc. etc. etc. Ed's been taking care of making most of their meals, going to the grocer, and even doing a bit of laundry now and then.

Oh - and we just found out last week that the shore house (ANOTHER long story from this wonderfully sweet but oh so broken family) which has been sitting empty for the past 30 years is in immediate danger of getting condemned - which would break Ma's (and Darling Wife's) heart. So now I'm dealing with the county trying to find out what our options are. Looks like I'm going to be pulling permits to raze and rebuild the garage (seriously only 4 corner posts and a pile of rubble at this point) at a minimum.

link · #4 08-11-2009, 02:03 PM

At the risk of being direct. Dial 911 and have them send paramedics and an aid vehicle.

If you know him to be having serious problems and do nothing, in the eyes of the law you are probably liable for doing nothing. in other words you could go to jail for your inaction.

Do the right thing.

beevly · #5 08-11-2009, 02:09 PM

Ed may have had a stroke. Unfortunately, if so the damage is probably done by now, but the emergency room is where he belongs right now. I'd call an ambulance if he refuses to go.

Sorry for your troubles, I don't know if I could've dealt with that much.

SwampYankee · #6 08-11-2009, 03:22 PM

Jeezus, just what you needed on your plate.

Sorry to hear that, Jim. That can't be good. Our thoughts and prayers are with you all!

Ara T. · #7 08-11-2009, 03:22 PM

Wow.. sorry to hear about that, what an idiot.

WVOtoGO · #8 08-11-2009, 03:28 PM

^ next time. Try going without that last part, Ara.

Jim -
Our thoughts and prayers are with you all as well.

ramonajim · #9 08-11-2009, 03:41 PM

Idiot is perhaps a bit strong, but I surely understand the sentiment. Also understand the 'take control' mentality (tossing him against his will into an ambulance) - not gonna try to second guess (or rationalize) our actions yesterday other than to say that we're dealing with a terrified teddy bear of a guy, symptoms had pretty much cleared by the time we got here, and he's got a doc appointment (first one in over a decade) for Thursday. Last card was a hard commit from Ed that he'd go this morning if things got bad. Figured he wasn't gonna stick to that, so Darling Wife was here first thing in the ayem to chase him out and get his butt to the ER.

Ed was convinced for years that he was going to die young (he has polycystic kidney disease, killed several of his family members). His "plan" was to die just before the money ran out - but he out lived his plan.

He's been dealing with pretty major depression, barely able to keep his own stuff together. Absolute sweetheart of a guy, would do anything for anybody, but he (like Ma) ran out of functionality cards a few years back.

Just heard from Darling Wife, docs are assuming stroke (duh), waiting on a CT scan and a plan. Ma's fed (gal is eating like a frickin' horse these days), and I'm about ready to rip a new posterior exit in a supplier (work stuff). My own little pressure relief valve I suppose

beevly · #10 08-11-2009, 04:02 PM

They're fortunate to have folks like you two with them. Best of luck.

sunedog · #11 08-11-2009, 04:47 PM

Jim -- I'm a Medical First Responder at work. Those were classic stroke symptoms. Next time, don't delay. Call 911 immediately. Let the pro's assess him. If a person can get to an ER soon after the stroke onset, the doctors can administer clot busting drugs and may be able to prevent long term or permanent damage.

You and Darling Wife are shouldering an enormous burden and I send you my best thoughts.

I've sent the following to all family and many friends with strict instructions to print it out without delay and put it on their fridge:

The warning signs of a stroke are:

Sudden numbness or weakness of the face, arm, or leg, especially on one side of the body.
Sudden confusion, trouble speaking, or understanding.
Sudden trouble seeing in one or both eyes.
Sudden trouble walking, dizziness, loss of balance or coordination.
Sudden, severe headache with no known cause.

The four easy tests are:

1) ask the individual to smile.
2) ask him or her to raise both arms.
3) ask the person to stick out their tongue. (It should be symmetrical.)
4) ask the person to speak a simple sentence.
If s/he has trouble with any of these tasks, call 911 immediately, nd
describe the symptoms to the dispatcher.

Squabble · #12 08-11-2009, 04:47 PM

good luck with all that, i don't look forward to this with my parents in their early sixties, it's going to come soon.

word too the wise, i wouldn't post the wife's weight on here, you're troubles would just be starting if she found out...!

ramonajim · #13 08-11-2009, 05:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Squabble

word too the wise, i wouldn't post the wife's weight on here, you're troubles would just be starting if she found out...!

She's quite proud of finally getting past the 101 mark! Teased her more than a little bit about becoming a fatty, and needing to trade her in on a couple 15 year olds when she hits 30 next summer

Quote:

Originally Posted by Squabble

good luck with all that, i don't look forward to this with my parents in their early sixties, it's going to come soon.

FWIW, neither Ma nor Ed are outta their 50's yet.

Latest word is that the CT scan showed nothing conclusive, but docs want to admit Ed for the night to give him a complete going over. Looks like I'm gonna be gathering Ma and her goodies for a sleepover at our place. Which probably means I'll have to find the damn television (pretty sure Barb and Louis brought one down last time they were here...) so she can at least watch movies (both Ma and Ed dang near imploded when they were without cable for a couple weeks).

Dee8go · #14 08-12-2009, 09:03 AM

I was guessing stroke, too, from the symptoms you described. It's nice to know I was on the same track as you guys who actually know what you're talking about. Ed and Ma are lucky to have you two there.

Having watched my own mother die of lung cancer exactly one year ago, I have some sense of what you're going through. It's hard to go through one one hand. On the other hand, it is a great opportunity to do and say all the things that need doing and saying. It sounds like you and Meridythe are doing a great job in a tough situation.