Anyone else's spouse make a crapload of money? - PeachParts Mercedes-Benz Forum

stimpy451 · #1 01-12-2010, 03:40 PM

My wife is filing for bankruptcy (her ex-husband left her with a mountain of debt) and she manages a surgery center. What she saw previously flying out the door is now coming in as income (medium six figures).

I've always been "Mr. Broke-Ass" but I take care of myself and my mechanical habits. Now she's all "you can quit your ****ty job and concentrate on going to school now" and "now you can afford the parts you need for your race bike" etc.

I feel very very odd

Always saw myself as that guy who shows up at a AHRMA or WERA race with a beat-to-crap Norton on the back of a beat-to-crap truck that I sleep in for the duration of the trip. I like minimalist hiking trips. I don't like rich people food.

I've only been married for a year. I don't feel very comfortable. Should I get over it? Maybe I'll be one of those guys who squirrels away liquid cash for a rainy day.

Wondering if there's anyone here with a similar situation. I think the underlying issue is emasculation or something involving cigars, i duhno

JollyRoger · #2 01-12-2010, 03:45 PM

My advice would be to stay away from using her money for selfish ends like a fast race bike or any other kind of material goods, she will lord it over you later, and if you get to liking it too much you will become a dependent sniveling little bum living off someone else, and your friends will see you as such and look down on your sorry ass. I would, however, take advantage of any resources she has that would help you advance your education because that will in the end benefit her as much as you, and it could eventually put you in the same earning class as her, and then you could make her your dependent slave instead.

stimpy451 · #3 01-12-2010, 03:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JollyRoger

My advice would be to stay away from using her money for selfish ends like a fast race bike or any other kind of material goods, she will lord it over you later, and if you get to liking it too much you will become a dependent sniveling little bum living off someone else, and your friends will see you as such and look down on your sorry ass. I would, however, take advantage of any resources she has that would help you advance your education because that will in the end benefit her as much as you, and it could eventually put you in the same earning class as her, and then you could make her your dependent slave instead.

As harsh as this sounds, it is almost verbatim to what I'm thinking. My post-graduate salary will be almost double hers....

I just don't want to wake up one day and finding myself looking forward to my next resort vacation or hoping I get a new Land Rover for my birthday

f*ck land rovers

benhogan · #4 01-12-2010, 03:52 PM

My advice to you is to have a hobby that makes money not one that costs money.

I have transitioned my MB repair skills into fixing small engines on the side (mowers, generators, etc.) so I always have cash in my pocket.

Having cash in your pocket is good for morale because it symbolizes options.

stimpy451 · #5 01-12-2010, 03:54 PM

I really like the group of folks on this forum. It's like my old mantra:

"All the German I needed to know, I learned from Hogan's Heroes"

SCHUUUULLLTTTTZZZZ!!!!!!

My "Magic 8 Ball" is getting jealous.

SwampYankee · #6 01-12-2010, 04:03 PM

Nope. She spends her share, though.

In all honesty, she gave up a pretty comfortable job to stay home and raise our four kids (now 3-12yo). Now that my youngest has started school (kindergarten), I think she's starting to consider getting back into the workforce. It won't be an easy transition for many reasons. I'm trying to talk her into teaching or even special education assistant (she actually got to her last semester in Special Ed and changed her degree, ironically we'd have a son with Down syndrome). Something she'd really enjoy doing rather that what she thinks she needs to do. Quite frankly an extra $20-30K would do just fine.

Take advantage of her furthering your education and leave it at that. Once you're bringing in your (theoretically at least) increased post-graduate earnings, then jump right into the hobbies.

aklim · #7 01-12-2010, 04:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stimpy451

My wife is filing for bankruptcy (her ex-husband left her with a mountain of debt) and she manages a surgery center. What she saw previously flying out the door is now coming in as income (medium six figures).

I've only been married for a year. I don't feel very comfortable. Should I get over it? Maybe I'll be one of those guys who squirrels away liquid cash for a rainy day.

Wondering if there's anyone here with a similar situation. I think the underlying issue is emasculation or something involving cigars, i duhno

So give me the money and you'll all be happy.

I would just get over it. I suspect before her bankruptcy, you have been the one with the money. So what's the difference? You squirrel money and it might just become a point of contention. Too bad you two didn't discuss money BEFORE you got married.

Well, there was a time where I was making the money and insurance when the wife brought in zip. Before she got her job, I sent her to RN school and lent a hand in her NP school. Now she makes the money and insurance and I am broke because I am starting out a new business and do not want to draw from it until I stabilize it. Where is the emasculation? That is, unless you want to cling on to old beliefs where you are the male and the breadwinner.

aklim · #8 01-12-2010, 04:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stimpy451

My post-graduate salary will be almost double hers....

So where is the issue? One day she makes more, next you make more.

#9 01-12-2010, 04:14 PM

I wouldn't lose any sleep over it, it's just money. I also wouldn't go nuts spending. Consider sitting down and putting together a budget including money for both of your hobbies, and including a good amount of savings. If everyone understands the rules, you won't have any hard feelings later because someone is spending too much.

aklim · #10 01-12-2010, 04:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Craig

I wouldn't lose any sleep over it, it's just money. I also wouldn't go nuts spending. Consider sitting down and putting together a budget including money for both of your hobbies, and including a good amount of savings. If everyone understands the rules, you won't have any hard feelings later because someone is spending too much.

Money is one of the major factors in disputes between couples so it isn't just "it's just money". Money is up there with religion and in-laws or out-laws as the case may be.

Yes, there should be some rules laid down that BOTH agree to.

stimpy451 · #11 01-12-2010, 04:23 PM

I guess there's more going on with me than who makes the money. She comes from money, I don't. I thought it wouldn't be an issue....

I'm going to keep going as normal with my race bike. I've had to cut some corners, learn how to machine my own parts, etc. due to necessity. It doesn't mean anything to me if I order a part and put it on the machine.

Maybe I'm afraid of losing touch of myself. I'm gonna go home and touch myself a few times.

aklim · #12 01-12-2010, 04:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stimpy451

I guess there's more going on with me than who makes the money. She comes from money, I don't. I thought it wouldn't be an issue....

Maybe I'm afraid of losing touch of myself. I'm gonna go home and touch myself a few times.

It shouldn't be an issue. Should have discussed it BEFORE getting married so there are no such issues during marriage. The wife and I discussed all of that although we were flat broke. Now, if she raises a stink, I can say "Well, we agreed that........ I kept my part of the bargain so where is the issue?"

Please DON'T send us cam shots of that. I can do without that.

#13 01-12-2010, 04:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aklim

Money is one of the major factors in disputes between couples so it isn't just "it's just money". Money is up there with religion and in-laws or out-laws as the case may be.

Yes, there should be some rules laid down that BOTH agree to.

I'm just saying it's not the most important thing in life (unless you don't have any at the moment). Obviously, both people need to agree with the budget; that's the whole point of having a budget.

How specific the budget needs to be depends on the individuals. My wife and I are pretty casual (no-one needs to check before spending a few $100), but neither of us would make a major financial commitment without talking about it. I'm sure some couples want to keep track of every dollar, but that seems like too much work.

ImBroke · #14 01-12-2010, 04:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stimpy451

I'm gonna go home and touch myself a few times.

TMI!!!!!!!!!

#15 01-12-2010, 04:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stimpy451

I guess there's more going on with me than who makes the money. She comes from money, I don't. I thought it wouldn't be an issue....

I'm going to keep going as normal with my race bike. I've had to cut some corners, learn how to machine my own parts, etc. due to necessity. It doesn't mean anything to me if I order a part and put it on the machine.

Maybe I'm afraid of losing touch of myself. I'm gonna go home and touch myself a few times.

You might be over-thinking this a little. I've been broke, and I've had some money; having money is better, but it's not a defining factor in life. Think of money as a tool, it allows you some additional freedom to do what you want; do not let it become a burden.