I have been in the acquaintance of very many young single mothers over the last few years and have learned that they live in a different world than you or I are accustomed to.

The opportunity for the father to "step up" is probably not there. $10/hr jobs don't support families or even pay child support.

You have some big adjustments to make in the way you view this to close the gap with the reality of her situation. Do a lot more asking than telling.

Very best of luck with it all JP!

__________________
2001 SLK 320 six speed manual
2014 Porsche Cayenne six speed manual

Annoy a Liberal, Read the Constitution

I graduated high school at 1 pm on a saturday (a looong time ago). By 8 pm 6 guys in my all male class of 161 were married. These things happen to a lot of good people and it's certainly nothing new. With some help from you and yours, she and the baby will do ok. She is very lucky to be in the family she is in. The child is a gift from God. She already has started to make good choices by keeping the child. She will make a fine parent as she has seen both good and bad examples. Tell the expectant mother I said congradulations. And congrats to you too Grampa!

Grandchildren are a blast! (never thought I would say that!)

What? You wanted your life to be BORING?

Some of my grandbabies are EVIL, Sup wid dat?

__________________
For the Saved, this world is the worst it will ever get.
For the unSaved, this world is the best it will ever get.

Clk's Ebay Stuff BUY SOMETHING NOW!!!

they have to be taught how to behave.

__________________
[SIGPIC] Diesel loving autocrossing grandpa Architect. 08 Dodge 3/4 ton with Cummins & six speed; I have had about 35 benzes. I have a 39 Studebaker Coupe Express pickup in which I have had installed a 617 turbo and a five speed manual.[SIGPIC]

..I also have a 427 Cobra replica with an aluminum chassis.

What did people do before priests, rabbis, shamans, imams, rectors, canons, ministers, pastors and the like existed?

Was all sex bad? No sex bad? Some sex bad?

Inquiring minds want to know.

__________________
Strelnik
Invest in America: Buy a Congressman!

1950 170SD
1951 Citroen 11BN
1953 Citroen 11BNF limo
1953 220a project
1959 180D
1960 190D
1960 Borgward Isabella TS 2dr
1983 240D daily driver
1983 380SL
1990 350SDL daily driver alt
3 x Citroen DS21M, down from 5
3 x Citroen 2CV, down from 6

You got a son-in-law who had the personal integrity to step up and do the right thing!!! Evenb if it took a while, he went against his parents and did what needed to be done.

and

you got some in-laws that I would drug and leave on a bus to Tijuana with no clothes, no ID and no money-- just like the new baby who got thrust into this world. See how they would like it!!

And it sounds like the son-in-law proved his devotion and has been successful. Good for them! and for you!

__________________
Strelnik
Invest in America: Buy a Congressman!

1950 170SD
1951 Citroen 11BN
1953 Citroen 11BNF limo
1953 220a project
1959 180D
1960 190D
1960 Borgward Isabella TS 2dr
1983 240D daily driver
1983 380SL
1990 350SDL daily driver alt
3 x Citroen DS21M, down from 5
3 x Citroen 2CV, down from 6

Thanks everyone, I appreciate the support.

__________________
1987 560SL
85,000 miles

Thanks for the kind words.

__________________
[SIGPIC] Diesel loving autocrossing grandpa Architect. 08 Dodge 3/4 ton with Cummins & six speed; I have had about 35 benzes. I have a 39 Studebaker Coupe Express pickup in which I have had installed a 617 turbo and a five speed manual.[SIGPIC]

..I also have a 427 Cobra replica with an aluminum chassis.

Life is not a dried and cut equation and never has or will be.. If it were not for unintended pregnancies there would be a lot fewer people around. In fact I may not have been even typing this nor you being here to read peoples posts if they did not occur in the heat of the moment so to speak.

Sex to me is just part and parcel of the human condition. To constrain it within certain rules never was nor will be too realistic.

People trying to do there best in a given situation is perhaps more important. With the more transient nature of marriages continuing to expand. There have been enourmous social shifts in our time alone. Even pregnant out of wedlock is now a somewhat obsolite expression.

My wife told me that we need to quickly clear out the rental I inherited when my dad passed away, so that my daughter can live there. I have great issue with this, because I think that giving today's young adults everything they need without them working for it is what's wrong with the country today.

I told her that it's a can of worms best left unopened, and that there's no way in hell that I'd GIVE her a place to live, rent free. I had to pay rent when I started out as an adult, and learned to work within my set budget...and that my daughter will need to do the same.

I'm willing to reach out and help financially, if needed, but I'm NOT giving her a house to live in for free.

I'm already putting out a chunk of coin each quarter to cover her college classes and books...

__________________
1987 560SL
85,000 miles

I agree JP I let our daughter live in our rental apartment and let's just say that it didn't work out well.

__________________
For the Saved, this world is the worst it will ever get.
For the unSaved, this world is the best it will ever get.

Clk's Ebay Stuff BUY SOMETHING NOW!!!

fwiw I consulted for a mid-sized non-profit for about a year. The organization focuses on care for teens in times of crisis. Part of what they do is to provide housing and care for pregnant women and new moms (under 21 years old) when no one else will.

You might look into area non-profits to see if there is are similar organizations.

Good call by a great dad.

__________________
1991 560 SEC AMG, 199k <---- 300 hp 10:1 ECE euro HV ...

1995 E 420, 170k "The Red Plum" (sold)

2015 BMW 535i xdrive awd Stage 1 DINAN, 6k, <----364 hp

1967 Mercury Cougar, 49k

2013 Jaguar XF, 20k <----340 hp Supercharged, All Wheel Drive (sold)

I will not offer specific things but suggest that you consider all alternatives carefully before making final decisions. Your long term relationship with your wife and daughter are important to you and your decisions now may impact the future very much, even perhaps the rest of your life. I would want to come to agreement with the wife particularly as you want your marriage to survive your childrens transition from dependent to independent.

I am a negotiator in my business dealings so have a couple of times come up with methods to deal with our kids problems in a positive way when the mrs. was ready to write the kids off and move on.

It is worth a lot of effort to optomize your situation for you, your wife and your daughter.....and of course your grandchild.

My daughter who got pregnant lived with us in a sort of basement apartment which we had fixed up for our son when he was in college. We coached her along and at our suggestion she did not give the child his fathers last name until they were married and refused to live with him until they were married as well. The ability to be indepenent from the child's father until the mother is in a secure situation is essential to your daughter being able to become independent from you later.

Until the father of our grandson married our daughter we treated the grandson as a part of our family, which he was as a practical matter.

Some of my friends like to spout off about what they would do if such and such happened but I always say to them "you don't know what you would do until it happens to you".

__________________
[SIGPIC] Diesel loving autocrossing grandpa Architect. 08 Dodge 3/4 ton with Cummins & six speed; I have had about 35 benzes. I have a 39 Studebaker Coupe Express pickup in which I have had installed a 617 turbo and a five speed manual.[SIGPIC]

..I also have a 427 Cobra replica with an aluminum chassis.