The How You know That You Are Getting Old Thread

[strelnik]

Originally Posted by Can't Know

I was talking with a former girlfriend (who is a few years older than I) someplace around when I turned 40 (about 12-13 years after we'd quit dating) and commented about seeing a few gray hairs on my chest, so I lamented that I was getting older.

She replied (with a sigh), wait until your pubic hairs start going gray...

Well, she can always shave....

[raymr]

Originally Posted by G-Benz

I do. Takes a couple of days to get used to them.

Bifocal contacts don't work like bi-focal glasses. Each contact is a "compromise" of the exact prescription of bi-focal glasses. One lens has a stronger near-field optic while the other one has a stronger far-sight optic.

Together, they work pretty well, but I find the far-sight to a bit too blurry for night driving...

It's called mono vision. I found this works best if you use your dominant eye for distance vision.

[Dudesky]

You start to understand why old people usually frown most of the time.

[cmbdiesel]

Originally Posted by Dudesky

You start to understand why old people usually frown most of the time.

[elchivito]

Originally Posted by raymr

It's called mono vision. I found this works best if you use your dominant eye for distance vision.

I chose mono vision for cataract lens implants. With contacts you can take them out so it'd probably be OK, but with permanent, non-replaceable surgery it was a mistake. It works fine when I'm rested and fresh, but as the day wears on I start getting blurry and double vision. I now wear a contact in one eye that corrects the close-up eye to distance, matching the other eye. I wear readers for close up.

[t walgamuth]

Originally Posted by Can't Know

I was talking with a former girlfriend (who is a few years older than I) someplace around when I turned 40 (about 12-13 years after we'd quit dating) and commented about seeing a few gray hairs on my chest, so I lamented that I was getting older.

She replied (with a sigh), wait until your pubic hairs start going gray...

With the old man belly you cannot see them anyway.

[t walgamuth]

Originally Posted by elchivito

I chose mono vision for cataract lens implants. With contacts you can take them out so it'd probably be OK, but with permanent, non-replaceable surgery it was a mistake. It works fine when I'm rested and fresh, but as the day wears on I start getting blurry and double vision. I now wear a contact in one eye that corrects the close-up eye to distance, matching the other eye. I wear readers for close up.

Trifocals for at least ten years.....

[The Clk Man]

Has anyone poster about old people farting dust yet?

[barry12345]

Originally Posted by The Clk Man

Has anyone poster about old people farting dust yet?

Are you perhaps confusing rust with dust? You also sound about ready for does the methane gas ignite test. If you need instructions some member will help you out. All you need to do is ask. They are here to help. .

An old guy once asked me if sitting in a pan of turpentine would help his hemoroids. Told me someone had suggested it to him.

Simply told him if you feel capable of running at thirty miles an hour or more. Then go for it. Or if you can drag your rear end across a rug as dogs do go for it.

The really rough part about being a proctoligist is you always are working where the sun does not shine. We do not have one as a site member or perhaps he would be reluctant to declare it. Too bad as some of your questions would be right up his alley so to speak.

[t walgamuth]

The trouble with some of us is when the proctologist does his digital exam he pokes us in the eye!

(Head up azz joke).

[raymr]

Originally Posted by t walgamuth

The trouble with some of us is when the proctologist does his digital exam he pokes us in the eye!

(Head up azz joke).

My proctologist is a woman. Is that wrong?

[barry12345]

[QUOTE=raymr;3109511]My proctologist is a woman. Is that wrong?[/QUOTE

Not really I just see it as them getting even with us.. Also gives her an oportunity to discuss all the *******s she dealt with all day. Or at least perhaps more so than the average woman.

A friend of mine went for a simple prostrate exam. Told me it hurt. So I simply asked him if it was his finger the doctor used? Did you remember the snapping sound of a rubber glove being put on?

There was an instantainious expression that crossed his face. That was priceless in itself.

[mgburg]

Originally Posted by Mr.Kenny

You know you’re getting old when you can’t stand people who are intolerant.
You know you’re getting old when a fortune teller offers to read your face
You know you're getting old when it takes too much effort to procrastinate.
You know you’re getting old when you regret all those mistakes resisting temptation.
You know you’re getting older when your pacemaker makes the garage door go up when you watch a pretty girl go by.

You know you're getting old when the fortune teller ask for PIA. (Payment In Advance)

[mgburg]

You know you're getting older when the tri-focals aren't doing the job and you wonder if they make quad-focals...

[Brian Carlton]

You know you're getting old when it takes you five months to do a simple tuneup on a Dodge van.