Mid week humor! - PeachParts Mercedes-Benz Forum

JCE · #1 06-19-2002, 02:57 PM

ATTENTION ALL VISITORS TO THE SOUTH HERE'S THA RULES!

1. Pull up your pants and take that earring out. You look like an idiot.

2. It's called a "gravel road." No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your BMW. So, drive or git outta the way.

3. Yeah, we all started hunting and fishing before we started to school. Sure, we saw "Bambi" but we got over it.

4. Go ahead. Bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod-but don't cry when a catfish breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for that little 10 inch bass you're fishing for-we call it "bait."

5. That bent-over farmer did more work before breakfast than you do all week, including your visits to the gym. He doesn't need your respect but he surely DESERVES IT.

6. If your cell phone rings while we're in the woods waiting on a buck, we'll shoot it. You might hope you don't have it to your ear at the time.

7. If you bring "Coke" into our homes, it'd better be brown, wet, and best served over a glass of ice.

8. You have a $60,000 car? We're not impressed. Heck, we drive tractors, cotton pickers and hay balers that cost a quarter million dollars-and we only drive them a few weeks each year.

9. Yeah, we eat catfish, deer, rabbit, and squirrel. You want sushi? It's available at the bait shop.

10. What's that? People are waving at you in your car and smiling at you on the streets? We call it being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

jjrodger · #2 06-19-2002, 03:06 PM

John, I never knew you lived in Northumberland.

#3 06-19-2002, 07:02 PM

You must obey the rules!Remember the
"Deliverance"?

Kuan · #4 06-19-2002, 08:56 PM

Heh, very good. We've been missing some humor here for a while now

Thanks John

Kuan

Frank X. Morris · #5 06-19-2002, 09:17 PM

Howdy John,
I didn't know you had been to El Mirage

I don't think Kuan has been reading our posts lately

MikeTangas · #6 06-20-2002, 12:16 AM

simple and to the point.

For further educational experience, be sure to watch "King of the Hill" on Fox. I consider it to be more of a back home documentary than an adult oriented cartoon. I used to have to explain much of it to the other half, not anymore though

.

MikeTangas · #7 06-20-2002, 12:49 AM

Several of us misplaced Texans have had looong philosophical discussions on the finer points of the show. Supposedly "Arlen" is a combination of Arlington/Garland and a third town I can't recall at the moment. Closest thing to Sugarfoot's used to be a chain (least 'round Houston [the H is silent y'all]) was something like Gandy's BBQ, had the biggest danged spuds and hugh portions, but they went out of business long ago.

The thing the Missus had the hardest time understanding was the opening scenes with everyone standing out front slamming beers. I'd be chuckling quietly, remembering, and she would say something about not seeing the humor

. Once i explained the Ice House meetings and the finer art of passing time, she understands, but it is a difficult concept for a CaliGirl to fully grasp.

Kuan · #8 06-20-2002, 07:30 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Frank X. Morris
I don't think Kuan has been reading our posts lately

Yerright, I haven't been. It's summer

Gotta enjoy what two months we have

Kuan

#9 06-20-2002, 09:04 AM

Thats the same way it is in Nebraska except for Omaha Lincoln and Scottsbluff. People wave at you have nice tractors and think your crazy for having a Mercedes

We had 50% of th Benz population in our garage

Frank X. Morris · #10 06-20-2002, 01:29 PM

Howdy Kuan,
Forgot you're up there in the frozen northlands

Enjoy the summer

MikeTangas · #11 06-20-2002, 06:27 PM

GABBY'S, that's it, as in Gabby Hayes. Can't believe I couldn't remember the name last night, jeez, I mean I ate close to a complete herd by myself there. Of course it has been nearly 20 years since I last ate there.

Now on a side note, is Casa Elena (Mexican restaurant) still there at Kuykendahl and 1960? That was my favorite place to have mexican food and beer for breakfast (offshore days).

Botnst · #12 06-20-2006, 08:32 AM

Dean, to the Physics Department:
"Why do I always have to give you guys so much money, for laboratories and expensive equipment and stuff. Why couldn't you be like the math department - all they need is money for pencils, paper and waste-paper baskets. Or even better, like the philosophy department. All they need are pencils and paper."

Dee8go · #13 06-20-2006, 05:05 PM

John,
Since when is any part of Kalifornia in the South?
Dee8go

Carleton Hughes · #14 06-20-2006, 05:42 PM

Why don't they have Wal-Marts in Baghdad?

'cause there's a Target on every corner.........................

JCE · #15 06-21-2006, 12:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dee8go

John,
Since when is any part of Kalifornia in the South?
Dee8go

Since the civil war:
1)Union troops sent into CA to prevent CA (and the gold fields) from siding with the Confederacy - CA was almost evenly split in sympathy before the war, with a slight majority favoring the South. In fact, just before the war the California legislature (in Northern California, with northern sympathies), had passed a resolution and forwarded to congress the request that the state be split in two parts, with southern California being named "Colorado". Once the war started, the congress ignored the request, and wasn't about to give southern California it's own senators and House seats after the war. So, even more vicious than carpetbaggers, they left us with Sacramento making the laws!

2)The Union troops used CA as a base to fight Confederate soldiers in Arizona, and as a base for their Navy in the Pacific. Union troops from Fort Yuma, CA engaged and lost to Confederate troops 50 miles north of Tucson in the westernmost battle of the civil war.
3)A conflict occured in So Cal between Union soldiers vs California volunteers attempting to leave CA to join Confederate troops.
4)Establishment of Union POW camps in San Pedro and San Francisco. (Alcatraz was a POW facility, and temporary storage facility early in the war for 10,000 rifles the Union wanted guarded by troops to prevent diversion by sympathizers from the California state armory to the Confederacy.)
5)But California troops did manage to reach the south despite Union efforts - The Los Angeles Mounted Rifles. The main contributions of this unit consisted of the following: There were in Los Angels several former officers of the U. S. Army who had resigned their commissions and were awaiting acceptance of their resignations before returning to their homes in the South. including Albert Sidney Johnston and Lewis A. Armistead. The Los Angeles Mounted Rifles were able to safely convey them from California through enemy territory and past union forts until they joined Confederate forces in Texas, after which they proceeded to Richmond. Albert Johnson's friend Jefferson Davis made him the second-ranking General of the Confederate Army. Lewis A. Armistead was commissioned Colonel of the 54th Virginia Infantry and soon after promoted to Brigadier General of a Virginia brigade. All the officers and men of the LAMR took positions with other Confederate units, and the LAMR was disbanded.
6)In 1863 and again in 1864, the Confederate Secretary of the Navy ordered actions against California mail ships and capture of a California ship to become a commerce raider to attack whaling, guano, gold, and mail shipments, and to harass the Union's understrength Pacific Squadron of 1861-1866
7) Two former Confederates who were unsuccessful in their attempts at secession in the 1860’s became very successful at their attempt to secede from Los Angeles County in the 1880’s. Orange County was the result of their efforts - over 700 civil war vets are buried in Orange county. (In Disneyland, I'll take my stand...)

Lots of other southern links between California and the South, including the Mississippi steam boat Delta Queen - originally built as a Sacramento river boat in 1927, comandeered by the US army for use during WW2, then transplanted to the Mississippi in 1946.

So that is why they call it Southern California!