Brace yourself....... - Page 2 - PeachParts Mercedes-Benz Forum

Ridge · #16 07-20-2002, 05:34 PM

David,

Wow, that took a lot of desperation and courage!

As a former instructor, I know how many kids were pushed into drug use for ADD or ADHA by schools.

The facts are that most diseases, a lot of mental conditions and people's eventual deaths are caused by "Nutritional deficency".

As an example and this may very we be the cure for ADD or ADHA, 20% percent of the people surveyed in the U.S. had no DHA in their systems, another 40% had only minimum amounts. "So what?" you ask. Well, it seems among other things that a sufficient amount of DHA in your system leads to increased mental accuity.

What is DHA? A simple amino acid found in fish and fish oil. Now wouldn't you rather be taking something that's natural and better yet, beneficial than a drug designed to make a drug company rich?

Now, probably you're at least a little depressed too. Firstly, I'm old enough to be your grandfather and I'll be the first to tell you that we're all depressed at sometime in every week. Two, all of us had real problems transiting adolesence whether we were straight or gay. I'd only go back there given the chance, if I could take the understanding that I have today.

Three, Life's a test. Yeah, a test! We're all trying to get through it, there isn't a text book on how to do it and some of us have great tests than others. I find, that when I'm feeling depressed, that I damn good workout "pumps-me- up" something fierce. Now, I'm sixty-four but my 33 year old son can't keep up with me when I'm on a tear. So drag yourself outside somewhere inspiring and take a long walk with some short runs thrown in. I guarante you'll feel better when you finally drag yourself back to the car.

By the way, it's the first half to three quarters of a mile when most people stop. They feel the lactic acid burn, think the whole thing is going to feel that way and give up. Push through it. Depression is a mental "lactic acid burn". Push through it. Get out there!

Stress in life is the norm, without stress we all take the easiest route and generally make life even more difficult for ourselves and others. You can either focus the stress on yourself like a gigantic searchlight and let it burn you to a crisp or you can focus that searchlight on a worthwhile goal in life and make yourself the best person that you can be, whether straight or gay.

Life's a battle everyday, win it!!

P.S. Your mom's like all the rest of us in older age, we want grandchildren so she's hurting, too. Little people give us all a new look at life through the eyes of wonder in a small child.

Ben

David C Klasse · #17 07-20-2002, 05:53 PM

Ben,
What you said could not have come at a better time. First of all, what a great post.

Secondly, my mom is going with some girlfriends to the Hollywood Bowl tonight. So my dad and I are going to go to dinner and a movie. But before that, we're going to go on a run together. We have been talking about it for a long time. For the past week, I have started jogging again. And yes, it feels GREAT!

I know what you mean about pushing on through after the first mile... I use to be in Cross Country in High school.

Thirdly, I have 3 brothers!! I'm sure one (probaly) of them is bound to give her a grandchild, or two, three or four!

David C Klasse · #18 07-20-2002, 06:21 PM

Well... nobody is home, and my legs have been killing me since I started running (pushin on through...

). So I just went in the jacuzzi, blasted some music.... and went at it!

6 months ago I never danced. I was so embarrassed to dance. Slowly, but surely (and sometimes with the help of some alcoholic beverages), I have been able dance at clubs, with friends, etc. I also think this is an action showing my road to security! (IE, rather than being insecure).

Anyway... I have been thinking about this thread all day, and there is always more that comes to my mind, so I guess I'll just add things here and there....

CYA

Kuan · #19 07-21-2002, 08:27 AM

David!

I don't know much about Ritalin. I don't know much about Paxil either, nor do I know anything about being gay. In fact, reading your post leads me to believe that there's a whole other side of life and living which I don't know about. But I gotta tell you, it took real courage to stand up and tell everyone about all you're going through. You're past the apex now... it's pedal to the metal from now. Hang tight!

Kuan

The Warden · #20 07-21-2002, 03:54 PM

David, you're lucky on that aspect...that you have the physical excercise (running, etc) that you can turn to. I know that it can help with the depression and whatnot.

I used to bike. Mainly on flat roads and whatnot, but I got to the point where I was able to do 10 miles a day (I even did 80 miles once; took me 6 hours, but I did it) with a standard Schwinn setup; no shocks or anything (I still have the bike). Probably the best I've ever felt in my life.

However, I can no longer do that. In fact, really any excercise is severely curtailed (I'm currently in a swimming class at school; I can barely handle that). I can do work in brief spurts (that's how I'm still able to do my own automotive work, thank goodness), but any heavy lifting or extended excertion is out of the picture. About 3 1/2 years ago now, after making the mistake of not riding my bike for 2 months, I was forced to ride a total of 25 miles (trying to fix a non-running car). This blew out two discs in my lower back region. To this day, I get phantom pains in my hips and upper legs, occasionally making me collapse and fairly often necessitating crutches to help me walk. The worst thing is that it doesn't hurt all the time, and that plus my tendency to push myself when it isn't hurting, is making people (including my mom, before she saw the MRI results) believe that I'm faking it.

It was only properly diagnosed (MRI) a year or so ago (the first doctor, after 3 months, tried to tell me it was a cramp

), and my mom lost her job pretty recently, so, other than bein on a prescription medication which actually helps a bit, I haven't been really able to treat this. It'll probably wind up needing surgery anyways...

I miss riding my bike...

And I can definitely attest to the concept of lack-of-excercise contributing to depression. I'm battling that myself.

jsmith · #21 07-21-2002, 05:35 PM

david,

just try to keep an even keel - hard to do in these difficult times but i think you have the right idea. i suggest you reassess what you are doing with ritalin. let the paxil do its job - it's supposed to be a wonder drug and i know people that have had success with it. i've read of cases in young children with ADHD where switching from ritalin to paxil shows remarkable changes. bottomline is that it's speed. it just so happens that it works to a certain degree with ADD/ADHD but they are not even sure why. as others have suggested, find someone that will help you with your treatment. i really doubt that anyone would prescribe both together, in either case such medication should be monitored and supervised. and finally, speed makes you jittery and error-prone. you don't want that, specially when you're working on the benz

David C Klasse · #22 07-21-2002, 06:38 PM

No no no... Paxil does not calm me down. At any time, and especially when going out at night with friends or whatever, I am totally out of control when I don't have ritalin. I am a loose canon, and I make a big fool of myself, but don't care at the time! I know, and most of my friends hope, that I should really take ritalin when I go out at night.. maybe just 1/2 dose, but something atleast.

And I have been properly diagnosed with ADHD.

jsmith · #23 07-21-2002, 10:02 PM

david,

first of all, i am more than twice your age and admit that i did my share of experimentation in my misspent youth. also, i actually have a degree in pharmacy so i do know a lot about drugs.

it sounds an awful lot like you are self medicating if you are popping one before you go out at night. if you are on paxil and ritalin too - there may be an issue with drug interaction. while both are specific to ADHD they work in different ways. paxil is very different from other drugs because it has an indirect action unlike ritalin which has more of a direct stimulating effect on an understimulated part of the brain. i don't even want to hazard a guess as to the possible effects. this is best left to a professional and you should tell that person about your symptoms and how you have been going about dealing with them.

and lastly - it goes without saying there is no judgement here, just trying to help...

G-Benz · #24 07-22-2002, 12:28 PM

Just a footnote guys (and gals)...

...while this has been an enlightening thread and demonstrates the cameraderie and friendship among us MercedesShop members, I would caution all of you regarding documenting past or present drug abuse on this thread.

While I'm not a lawyer, there seems to be a potential to use this thread as admissible evidence of confessed drug use, depending on which one of you gets indicted for such in the future.

Consider the paranoia after 9/11 that "Big Brother" is even MORE vigilant on the internet.

Moving right along...

David, it took a lot of courage to do what you did on this thread...probably will be regarded as the the most historic thread ever started on this forum!

I too feel that you should seek help to remove yourself from the need to be prescribed Ritalin for your life on this planet.

I did some research (after suspicions that teachers were unfairly targeting pupils as having ADD) and found that schools get kickbacks up to $150,000 per child successfully enrolled in the Ritalin program! Here in Texas, we can enter a typical elementary shool and witness dozens of students lining up at the school nurse's office for their Ritalin meds!

I too, was being treated for severe depression, and was told that I would be on depression medication for the rest of my life! I refused to accept that statement complacently, and even though it is a daily uphill battle, I haven't been on any prescription medication for three years!

So keep fighting...and never give up. Life really sucks when you concede defeat!

chowpit · #25 07-24-2002, 11:28 PM

David,
I knew in the past with some of our exchanges that you seemed to be uncomfortable with your sexual preference and how people might react. I figured in due time that you would deal with it in your own way.
IMO you made the right choice and I'm sure you feel better about yourself.

A tip of the hat to you. That took a lot of testicular fortitude.

David C Klasse · #26 07-25-2002, 12:06 AM

Thanks Scott (and G-Benz, Bill, Joe & everyone else) for the great words.

*speechless?*

:p

Jason Beal · #27 07-25-2002, 05:19 AM

David

Well that was the last thing I expected to read on this forum. And what I am about to write is probably the last thing I ever thought I'd write too.

I abused alcohol and cocaine for well over an entire decade. I tried for so long to quit drinking and it seemed impossible. I began to drink at a very early age and even then it seemed tough to quit. I understand self-medicating very well, and I also understand what it is like to get tangled so deeply that it seems you will never get out. This is a point in drug use that you couldn't comprehend until you actually become that person. It may start as "self-medicating" but eventually it is much more than that.

I've seen drugs destroy so many lives of people I know, and some I've never known. I have seen many gay men (more so than women it seems) who began using alcohol or drugs at an early age to deal with their sexuality. By the time they were in their mid twenties they were hard drug users. I hate to see this cycle in anybody -period. It does (in my life experiences thus far) seem to be common place in gay men to abuse drugs. I also know that the suicide rate is much higher for gay teens (I know you are at the end of that age group now) than heterosexual.

If you feel that you have a problem with drugs, do yourself the biggest favor you could ever do and address it. There are gay AA/NA groups that would probably help you tremendously. In more ways than one. It sucks to learn things the hard way, especially with drugs. And let me tell you, you will learn the hard way if you continue to use drugs. One crappy lesson after another. I don't think I've ever sat around a table and heard a person say, "Hey since I've started snorting this stuff, my life has been awesome!" Not once.

I met a man back a little over five years ago who had almost eleven years sober. That man was gay. He had consumed alcohol most of his life because he didn't want to deal with who he was. He became my sponsor and good friend for some time. He rented out a room in his house to me, got me in the gym, drove me (I had no car, never had one until I got sober in 1997) to an AA meeting every night, taught me about nutrition and how it effects the body/mind and basically gave me a chance when there was nobody left (including my parents) willing to help me. I learned a great deal from that man, and he basically saved me life. He wanted nothing in return except for me to pass the favor one-day.

I haven't had a drop of alcohol or used cocaine/freebase since September 10 1997. Today I have my own home, a wife, two kids, two dogs, and a life, which is completely drug free. I have been able to do things I never dreamed of doing since becoming sober.

There are so many examples out there for you to learn from. Why not use them? I'm sure all of them would say the same thing, "If I knew then what I know now..."

Don't make excuses for anybody for who you are. You are you and that is that. But you have to be willing to accept that too.

Good luck my man.

Jason

#28 07-25-2002, 09:33 PM

Dittos Bill. Posts like those prove that even the seemingly bleakest of times can be overcome.