We can discuss this Sunday afternoon. :hair:

Well, you literally make the 7th person out of 9 that I know that have divorced after 3 years of marriage! I was just over 3 years.

Amazing.

I'll assume you were the Plaintiff?

Pete

I guess I'm a crusty old veteran -- I made it to 4! :D

Let's not and say we did :)

ya'll in the *open discussion* freakin' amaze me -- in a good way!!

I began reading this thread for some unexplained reason, found myself in tears, literally, on the first page -- decide to cut to the chase and see wuts up on page eight, and ya'll are exchanging divorce antecdotals. Gotta luv it. Excellent.

Nice, smart people, wish I worked with some...

Made it to fifteen. She came home one Friday night and decided she was not happy anymore and left. It has been two years since and I still can't get back into the dating scene. Probably will stay single for the rest of my life.

I was "married" for 17 years. Really 10 but we lived together for 7 years before tying the knot. Once you get through the emotional pain and establish a comfortable new routine you start seriously considering whether living with another person is worth all the crap you put up with the first time around.
I guess it depends on your personality but I find the freedom of not having to live up to someone else's expectations (ie: doing the dishes at a certain time, remembering to put the seat down or the various and sundry things I did or didn't do that irritated my ex) outweigh my need for constant companionship.
My outlook on relationships has changed. I no longer have the idealized vision of "love conquering all". Instead I am looking for someone that I like, that's fun to spend time with, that isn't looking for me to "fix their life" and that will respect me and with whom I have that elusive chemistry.
Will I find it? Don't know and don't really care. I enjoy the tranquility of not having to live the ups and down of anyone elses emotions. Love my kids, my job, my house, my cars and my friends.
What do I want in life that I'm lacking? A 6 car heated garage with a lift, hot and cold running water, a big ass compressor, killer stereo system and great lighting! :)

Agree 100%. I found her and we'll be married in February :sun_smile

To think I started out looking for answers to a friend's heated seat issues in his W124, then I stumble onto this thread. A man goes through a terrible, painful ordeal and has virtually no one to turn to. He posts here simply in an effort to release some emotion and what does he get? A whole lot of caring from great individuals that did all they could given the circumstances. In their efforts, they consoled him, made him move on quicker and realize that he needed to help himself. Slowly but steadily, his posts became brighter and much more positive, to the point where we fast forward over a year later. Happiness has come back into your life Gottadiesel, am I safe to assume?

GONGRATULATIONS on your achievement and congratulations to those who TYPED (gotta love the net) such great words to help this otherwise stranger!

MB owners rule :)

As a veteran of such things in my long past, here's what little advice I have to give. I don't know how long you were married, but it sounds like a 10-30 year marriage where the wife is leaving because "the thrill is gone." Well of course it is, because that's the way it works. Maybe the "intitial thrill" somehow didn't get replaced with the longer term committment that is supposed to replace it. And perhapos, just perhaps, you never really had what you thought you did. But all this, of course, is just speculation on my part.

One thing for sure is to avoid becomming either a constant bother or enemy to her. Just be friendly and distant. Most important: be open to the possibility the something better may come along for you, maybe from the leasst expected of places and persons. After all, you DO have a future as well as a past, and that future could include a women far mor compatible with you than any you have know before. Just keep you mind, and your eyes and ears, open.

Good luck,
Richard

Thanks again for all the kind words. :)

Three year marriage... and no children. Really never will have to see or talk to her again (although I have to admit, I never did get the real reason for her leaving, but that seems to be the norm these days). I wish her all the luck and happiness that the world has to offer her.

Pete :)

Glad to see you are working through this, GottaDiesel. I generally lurk in the diesel and classifieds forums, and only saw this thread today. I read through the ENTIRE thread and am so glad to see your progress has been so healthy. You are on the right track, it seems.

I am only 32, but I can reflect upon all sorts of bad decisions over my few dating years. It's funny, though. I loved my first girlfriend with a wild passion, but after dating her for 4 years, I screwed it up. I spent years afterward wallowing in self-pity and wondering "why me?" Finally, at 28, enlisted in the Air National Guard, went back to school for my Mater's degree, and just started doing things to make amends with MYSELF. For the first time in my life I really started to like myself, and found that my happiness could be internally rather than externally motivated.

Boy, I'm rambling. Anyway, to make a long story short, the last few years of my life have been spectacular. I just met a LOVELY girl who I am just infatuated with, and things like my military job (aircraft maintenance) and my car hobby have made me confident in all sorts of new ways. Keep up the positive attitude, and you'll find that things really do happen for good reason(s). Treat others well and you will be treated well in turn. Keep your chin up and pat yourself on the back, friend! The worst is over!

Chris