Hey guys,

Last Wednesday night, my beloved anthracite gray on black 1985 Mercedes Turbo diesel sedan with 180K miles was totaled. She was in cherry condition, and she saved my life. I was t-boned on the driver's side by a guy doing forty miles an hour through a red light. I walked away. If I had been driving my husband's 95 Corolla, I doubt I'd be here to tell the tale.

I had an auto body guy I trust come by and evaluate the damage this morning. He said the frame is significantly damaged--yes, perhaps it could be unbent, but that the car would not be nearly as structurally sound as it once was, and definitely not as safe. My trusted long-time mechanic concurs. I made an agreement with my husband that I would take this guy's word as the final verdict. (My husband knew that it was a total the minute he saw it, but I was having none of it. )

My sense of loss and emotional attachment are embarrassingly huge. I know it's just a car, and I know I should be grateful to be okay. I am, but I hurt big time over the loss of this grand automobile. It was the best car I ever had by a long shot. Despite the fact that I'm in my 40s, this was the only car I ever picked out myself and loved, rather than just bought out of desperation or lack of funds. My husband bought her for me a couple of months after we got married. I appreciated it and loved it every single day of the seven years I had it. We're both teachers, and I never dreamed I'd have such a singularly beautiful car.

Thanks to this forum, I learned how to clay bar and wax with a buffer. I installed my own stereo and did other small things like bulbs and fuses. I was preparing to pull the dash and redo the vacuum and lights. You guys all showed me how and gave me the confidence to do it. Mostly, I just lurked and got all the advice I needed. Your help to complete strangers means something, and I really appreciate it.

My mechanic said my car was the cleanest example of a W123 that he has ever seen, and he works almost exclusively on older Mercedes. Broadway German Auto Service in Long Beach, CA--could not ask for a more stand-up place.

Needless to say I'm in a battle royale with my insurance company over the value of the car. . . Actual cash value my ass!

So . . . I'm not writing about trying to get it fixed. I guess I just needed to commiserate with people who actually get how special these cars are in good condition.

I do wonder if I should let them take it away though. I wonder if someone else could use the car's parts. It's got a newly installed AC system, four new tires with the rubber hairs still on 'em, a solid, well-kept original engine with 180K on it, and all the rest of the stuff--all functioning perfectly well, including a new regulator arm.I put a lot of money into keeping her in fine fettle.

I can't part it out. It would kill me, and I don't have the garage space for it as we live in a condo. If I had endless cash and/or serious expertise, I'd buy a junker W123 and combine them!

What would you guys do? This is not about the money--though my insurance company is going to give me a bit less if I don't surrender the car. The idea of having the car's awesome innards live on in some form for someone else is appealing as hell. It seems like a sad waste to have it just sit somewhere and rust out. And the idea of her sitting in a pick-a-part place doesn't sit well. So few people seem to really get the sheer awesomeness of this particular model of Mercedes. (God knows Farmer's Insurance has no clue.)

A real effing heartbreaker, folks! I know it's silly, but I feel like a treasured friend has kicked the bucket. Sorry for being so long winded and thanks for listening.