joke thread

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-Marty

1986 300E 220,000 miles+ transmission impossible
(Now waiting under a bridge in order to become one)

Reading your M103 duty cycle:
http://www.peachparts.com/shopforum/831799-post13.html
http://www.peachparts.com/shopforum/831807-post14.html

The BBC was interviewing an 110 year old Irishwoman upon her birthday,full of reminiscences of days gone by.

The interviewer asked if she had ever been bedridden,at this she blushed and replied"oh,yes me lad,many a time,and a few times in the hayloft."

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http://www.humor-day.com/funny_pictures/1162.jpg

I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

Bad cop! No doughnut!

You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.

Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on Cops?

So, uh, you on the take or what?

Gee, Officer! That's terrific! The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

What do you mean, "Have I been drinking? You're the trained specialist!"

Another Google Opppssie
1- Go to www.google.com

2- Type in "french military victories", without the quotes

3- Instead of hitting "Search" hit "I'm feeling Lucky"

4- Tell your friends before the people at Google fix it.

http://www.funny-games.biz/pictures/428-lapd.html

http://www.funny-games.biz/pictures/434-trooper.html

http://bigpicture.typepad.com/writing/images/icycars.jpg

A Skeleton walks into a bar and says "I'll have a beer and a mop"

Shaun

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1992 Pearl Black 500E (08/91) SOLD
1997 White C36 AMG (T-Boned by Chevy truck)
2003 Silver C32 AMG (lease due, traded up)
2002 Pontiac Montana VisionSOLD
2007 Volvo XC90 3.2
2005 E55 AMG (newest ride)

I don't get it........

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'87 924S
'81 280SEL

Sold ->

81 300SD -
93 300E w/ 3.2
85 300D-
79 300SD
82 300CD
83 300CD - CA
87 190E 5 spd
87 Porsche 924S

"..I'll take a simple "C" to "G" and feel brand new about it..."

Polish guy who locked his keys in his car,

He had to use a hanger to get his family out.......

__________________
'87 924S
'81 280SEL

Sold ->

81 300SD -
93 300E w/ 3.2
85 300D-
79 300SD
82 300CD
83 300CD - CA
87 190E 5 spd
87 Porsche 924S

"..I'll take a simple "C" to "G" and feel brand new about it..."

It was a pot shot at the french, I very nice one might I add. I'm going to show that to my friends before people fix it.

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Seth

1984 300D 225K
1985 300D Donor body
1985 300D Turbo 165K. Totaled. Donor Engine. It runs!!!
1980 300SD 311K My New Baby.
1979 BMW 633csi 62K+++? Dead odo

why did the chicken coop have two doors?



Because if it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.

Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs!"

Top Ten New President Bush Strategies For Victory in Iraq


10. "Make an even larger 'Mission Accomplished' sign"

9. "Encourage Iraqis to settle their feud like Dave and Oprah"

8. "Put that go-getter Michael Brown in charge"

7. "Launch slogan, 'It's not Iraq, it's Weraq'"

6. "Just do whatever he did when he captured Osama"

5. "A little more vacation time at the ranch to clear his head"

4. "Pack on a quick 30 pounds and trade places with Jeb"

3. "Wait, you mean it ain't going well?"

2. "Boost morale by doing his hilarious 'Locked Door' gag"

1. "Place Saddam back in power and tell him, 'It's your problem now, dude'"

__________________
'87 924S
'81 280SEL

Sold ->

81 300SD -
93 300E w/ 3.2
85 300D-
79 300SD
82 300CD
83 300CD - CA
87 190E 5 spd
87 Porsche 924S

"..I'll take a simple "C" to "G" and feel brand new about it..."