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  #1  
Old 10-19-2005, 01:11 PM
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Stroke victim(dad) comes home....

If you guys recall, my father had a stroke back in March.

After 7 mos, he's back home. My house anyway.

After leaving the hospital, he went to a rehad/nursing home for 2 months then to an assisted living facility near my house.

When he entered the ALF, he was completely incoherent, had sever dementia and was out of it, in addition to being in a wheelchair.

I'm happy to say that he's 85% of what he used to be and hopefully will continue to improve.

His mind has recovered for the most part and even the nurses at the ALF were asking me why he was there.

Phsically, he is still slightly impaired and limps a lot when tired, although he doesn't notice it.

He's been here for a week now and I have left him alone for 3 hours at a time with no accidents, fall, etc.....

As long as I leave him espresso(decaf, he doesn't know) and cigarettes( I know, but he won't quit) he seems to be fine.

Being the malcontent that he is, I'm sure he'll be unhappy soon. He looks for reasons to complain and be unhappy than the opposite.

I've noticed that he sleeps a hell of a lot though. Baseball is his passion and that will be over in a couple of weeks.

We'll see what he wants then.
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  #2  
Old 10-19-2005, 01:32 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Plantman
He looks for reasons to complain and be unhappy than the opposite.
For many, that just seems to be part of the aging process. My mother is the same way. I've already instructed others to kill me if I fall under the same affliction...
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  #3  
Old 10-19-2005, 02:10 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GermanStar
For many, that just seems to be part of the aging process. My mother is the same way. I've already instructed others to kill me if I fall under the same affliction...
I remember he used to tell me the same thing. Now that he's acting like that, he think he's normal and everyone else is messed up.

When he was in the ALF, he would tell me all the things he needed to be happy, I got them for him and he was still the same.

Now he's here and he mentioned that he needed his CPU so he could keep himself occupied. I set that up for him awhile ago and he just stares at it.

He only seems to be happy when he's uhhappy or complaining.

I've taken 2 weeks off so I can supervise him and see how able he is to be alone and find all of this amusing actually.

When he was in the ALF, he would lose things and blame all of his co-residents or the employees.

Well he lost his lighter here and I'm waiting to see if he blames my dog....Lol! Or one of my kids.....
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Old 10-19-2005, 02:19 PM
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I'm glad to hear he's home. I was wondering how he was doing.
My mother-in-law is the same way when it comes to happiness. She just moved herself and my father-in-law, who has one foot in the grave (86 yrs old), back to England from Canada because she claims she can't be happy in Canada. Her children are unhappy because they will miss their father.

I wonder if the affiliction is a matter of brain chemistry or a psychological issue with confronting death.
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  #5  
Old 10-19-2005, 06:01 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GermanStar
For many, that just seems to be part of the aging process. My mother is the same way. I've already instructed others to kill me if I fall under the same affliction...
Why wait? Avoid last minute hassles.
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  #6  
Old 10-19-2005, 06:02 PM
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Originally Posted by kerry edwards
I'm glad to hear he's home. I was wondering how he was doing.
My mother-in-law is the same way when it comes to happiness. She just moved herself and my father-in-law, who has one foot in the grave (86 yrs old), back to England from Canada because she claims she can't be happy in Canada. Her children are unhappy because they will miss their father.

I wonder if the affiliction is a matter of brain chemistry or a psychological issue with confronting death.
Appreciate the concern. My best friend and I compare father issues all the time, and it seems that the ones that retire early and don't do anything with their time have a tendency to lose it more rapidly than others.

The other day, he stumbled after I had warned him and he replied that he did it purposefully so he can excercise his hands...
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  #7  
Old 10-19-2005, 06:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Botnst
Why wait? Avoid last minute hassles.
LOL!
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  #8  
Old 10-19-2005, 06:04 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Plantman
I remember he used to tell me the same thing. Now that he's acting like that, he think he's normal and everyone else is messed up.

When he was in the ALF, he would tell me all the things he needed to be happy, I got them for him and he was still the same.

Now he's here and he mentioned that he needed his CPU so he could keep himself occupied. I set that up for him awhile ago and he just stares at it.

He only seems to be happy when he's uhhappy or complaining.

I've taken 2 weeks off so I can supervise him and see how able he is to be alone and find all of this amusing actually.

When he was in the ALF, he would lose things and blame all of his co-residents or the employees.

Well he lost his lighter here and I'm waiting to see if he blames my dog....Lol! Or one of my kids.....
Needs a consuming hobby. Take one up with him. Try watercolors every afternoon instead of vegging in front of the tube. By doing it together you will encourage him and give him something to look forward to that will probably be a challenge and a reward for both of you. I took-up watercoloring this spring. I suck, but I enjoy it anyway.

B
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  #9  
Old 10-20-2005, 01:41 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Botnst
Why wait? Avoid last minute hassles.
Snort!

glenmore
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  #10  
Old 10-20-2005, 08:55 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Botnst
Needs a consuming hobby. Take one up with him. Try watercolors every afternoon instead of vegging in front of the tube. By doing it together you will encourage him and give him something to look forward to that will probably be a challenge and a reward for both of you. I took-up watercoloring this spring. I suck, but I enjoy it anyway.

B
How about making him clean up after himself. Or better yet, not waking up in the middle of the night to" have somethin hot" and making a mess in the microwave and the stove underneath it. I can live with just about anything he says, but I cannot and will not accept him making a mess in my house.

My father is the opposite of me in that he'll walk around with a stain on his shirt in public and not realize it. When he does, it still won't bother him. Never has, and definitely never will.

I'm going to tell him in a minute that my wife gets up early to go to work and the last thing she needs is to wake up and see a dirty microwave before she leaves.

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Old 10-20-2005, 09:20 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Plantman
How about making him clean up after himself. Or better yet, not waking up in the middle of the night to" have somethin hot" and making a mess in the microwave and the stove underneath it. I can live with just about anything he says, but I cannot and will not accept him making a mess in my house.

My father is the opposite of me in that he'll walk around with a stain on his shirt in public and not realize it. When he does, it still won't bother him. Never has, and definitely never will.

I'm going to tell him in a minute that my wife gets up early to go to work and the last thing she needs is to wake up and see a dirty microwave before she leaves.


I bet it reminds him of you when you were a teenager, you're doing the right thing taking care of your dad! When my grandfather became to sick with cancer my family had to take care of him, at first it was a burdon and the burdon got even worse with time but after he passed we realized how wonderful the time we spent with him was. He developed stronger bonds with my children, even my 3 year old contributed.

You're dealt the cards now its up to you to make it a positive thing, I yearn for the opportunity to repay my parents for everything that they have done for me.

How old are your kids? maybe there is a hobby that they can do together like model building, wood working, or something internet related where your children can teach him. I never realized how smart the old farts are until I gave them the opportunity to teach me something.
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  #12  
Old 10-20-2005, 11:25 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Plantman

I'm going to tell him in a minute that my wife gets up early to go to work and the last thing she needs is to wake up and see a dirty microwave before she leaves.

Compassion and tolerance are tough, but don't compare to berating a someone who is recovering from a debilitating event. Maybe swat him with a rolled up news paper, too? That'll teach him
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  #13  
Old 10-20-2005, 12:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by narwhal
I am wondering the same thing as Kerry. Tell his doc about his attitude. Maybe something a little pill may help.

Maybe pack some of his cigarettes with some pot would help (of course, after he gets over his balance problem)
That would give him the munchies......


and make more messes in the microwave and kitchen
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  #14  
Old 10-20-2005, 01:16 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by narwhal
I will make no bones about it--when I retire and move to the beach house full time, I am going to quit on the booze and be a cocktail hour pothead instead. My psych professor in college did one of the longest studies ever on costa rican banana pickers that smoked 20-30 joints/day. The results were suprising. Smoking a joint once a day does less damage than breathing smog (to the brain and the lungs). Of course, I will never encourage this behavior in my children, and won't do it in front of them, unless I hit like 80 Y.O.
Me too. I'll keep a spot free of dog hair on my couch for when you visit my beach house. Between hurricanes, that is.

(Psst, narwhal. Going to White Lake next week to measure salinities. Rumor has it that the storm surge introduced salt.)
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Old 10-20-2005, 02:13 PM
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I read somewhere that marijuana can be lethal for stroke victims It raises the heart rate, blood pressure and can cause at least severe anxiety. Plus it’s effective potency is said to be about 10x stronger for folks who’ve had a stroke.
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