I love Tirebiter's signature line,

"You can get farther with a smile and a gun than you can with just a smile."

"If I had a dollar for every dollar I've spent on my car... my car wouldn't run!"

How about, "You can't get there from here?"

Give a man a fish and he'll have food for one day. Teach a man to fish and he'll have another expensive hobby.

He who hesitates, masturbates.

A bird in the bush is worth two in the hand.

Here are some of my favorites:

I'd rather be judged by 12 than carried by 6

Every time you buy Lexus - a cute puppy dies.
Every time you buy MB - a hot girl gets implants.

You can't copy a reputation.

When reason fails, personal attacks ensue.

The difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know, and I don't care.

Don't believe everything you think.

Freedom is not free

"May you live as long as you want to....and want to as long as you live"

Balzac:
The more you judge, the less you love

Ralph Waldo Emerson:
We are reformers in spring and summer; in autumn and winter, we stand by the old; reformers in the morning, conservers at night.

Robert Anton Wilson:
It only takes 20 years for a liberal to become a conservative without changing a single idea.

Wendy Kaminer:
A liberal is a conservative who's been arrested. A conservative is a liberal who's been mugged.

Willis Player:
A liberal is a person whose interests aren't at stake, at the moment.

Winston Churchill:
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains. http://www.quotedb.com/quotes/1358

Will Durant:
The trouble with most people is that they think with their hopes or fears or wishes rather than with their minds.

Winston Churchill:
You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.

Friedrich Nietzsche:
In heaven all the interesting people are missing.

Dan Quayle
I stand by all the misstatements that I've made.

P. J. O'Rourke
If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.

Emerson
I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.

Bob Dylan
A hero is someone who understands the responsibility that comes with his freedom.

H. L. Mencken
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.

H. L. Mencken
It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.

H. L. Mencken
It is the dull man who is always sure, and the sure man who is always dull.


Clarence Thomas:
"One of the reasons I don't do media interviews is that the media often has its own script. One reason these stories are never told is that they are contrary to the script that people play by. The media, unfortunately, have been universally untrustworthy because they have their own notions of what I should think or I should do."

That's a good one.

Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz.
Janis Joplin

“There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.”


“It is a good idea to "shop around" before you settle on a doctor. Ask about the condition of his Mercedes. Ask about the competence of his mechanic. Don't be shy! After all, you're paying for it.”
Dave Barry

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
Tim Allen

In France you have two teams, but they are never competitive at the same time. In Italy you have only Ferrari and some small teams.
Alain Prost

Aerodynamics are for people who can't build engines.
Enzo Ferrari

The client is not always right.
Enzo Ferrari

Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform. - Mark Twain

"Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on." - Winston Churchill

"Government is not reason. Government is not eloquence. It is force. And, like fire, it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master!" - George Washington


" Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors. And miss." - Robert A. Heinlein.

1. True

2. That's what I say.

3. Typical Euro mindset.

4. Amen.

5. Be VERY wary of the IRS.

"IRS: They've got what it takes to take what you've got."

:mad:

Mike

i'm so busy i don't know whether to wind my butt or scratch my watch.

"If I told you you had a great body, would you hold it against me?" - One of my all time favorites.

I guess that's really a pick up line, but I couldn't resist putting it in here.

Ballin ;)

*** An oldie, but a goodie... ***
 

Socrates: "I drank WHAT?!?!?"