Here is just some of the nonsense from today as well as the last 8 years. ENJOY....

- PHONE CALL: Um, yes. An Audi customer just had an accident down the road and the air bags deployed. Can you send someone out to assist ? Sir, I suggest you dial 911. We already did but can you send someone out to assist ? Assist HOW sir ? We are not POLICE or PARAMEDICS. Are you sure someone called 911 ? If not I' can call for you right now. HE hung up.

- PHONE: I just had an accident with one of your cars. How do you handle that ? You had an accident with one of our loaner cars ? No, I LEASE it from you so it's YOUR car. Do you give me a loaner car and have it repaired ? Um, mam, let me stop you right there. Whether you LEASED or PURCHASED the car, it's YOUR car. You pay the insurance on it. I suggest you call YOUR insurance company and file a claim for the repair. Y'all don't have a contract with a body shop to fix leased cars ? Again mam, you would handle that thru your insurance. Do you provide me with a loaner car while it's in the body shop ? No mam. You might want to check your insurance policy for rental car coverage. We do not provide loaner cars for any body work.

- IN PERSON: I'd like to drop my E320 off to have the hood repaired. Someone vandalized it. And pick up a loaner car. Let me see if the body shop manager is free to write you an estimate and set up an appointment. Oh, I have to pay for that ? Well sir, as you said, someone VANDALIZED the car. That's an issue you'd take up with your insurance company. Well I thought when you lease an expensive car like this, this type of thing would be covered. That's not the case,sir.

- PHONE: My Q7 is 3 weeks old and none of the MMI controls are working. I'm so pissed off !! Did you spill something on it ? No !! Of course not !! Bring it right down.
NOW IN PERSON: The buttons are awfully sticky mam. Let me pull it apart. SILENCE. 10 minutes later: Something was spilled in the controls mam. ABSOLUTELY NOT !!! Well mam, there's staining from some type of liquid down both sides of the console and the wood has streaks like a liquid was wiped off, and my guess is BEER. Would you like to smell the controls ? I have them right here. CALLS THE HUBBY ON HER CELL: Handle this, she says. Explain what I found: DOESN'T MY LEASE COVER THAT ? No sir. BEER was not on the options list. It's about $980. She drives out.

- IN PERSON: Bubble on the right front tire of a C320 with 700 miles: You have to replace the defective tire on my car. That's not a DEFECT sir, that's an IMPACT BREAK. You hit a pot hole just hard enough to cut the inner lining and the air is migrating between the layers of the tire. Had you been traveling 5mph faster, you'd have blown the tire on the spot. Well I didn't hit ANYTHING. SO this black mark on the wheel and the bend on that same spot means the wheel is defective also ? No, it's an indication of a pothole impact. Well it's a brand new tire. That shouldn't happen. Well then let's apply that logic to the entire car. That's a BRAND NEW STEEL fender. If I kick it, will it dent ? Left and went to a local tire shop. Came back to me and bought a NEW tire.

- This conversation took place in MAY (forget the year). Issue was a ML320 needing an engine due to lack of servicing for 24,000 miles. Rep declined a warranty claim: It's YOUR responsibility to bring the car in for service. I was JUST here in SEPTEMBER for brakes and no one told me I was due for a service.

- I'm sorry the tech can't fix your car. He's a dumbass and deserves to be shot. That's just ME thinking out loud sometimes.

- I'm sorry I forgot to call you back. I'm a dumbass and deserve to be shot for having to deal with the above nonsense before your needs. Again, ME thinking out loud.

I can continue. There's PLENTY more...

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Sharing my partner's 2012 Forte 5dr SX til I find my next 123 or 126..
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Do I miss being a service advisor ???

May I suggest a week-long vacation somewhere without automobiles and cellphones?

Yeah I would just start calling people idiots and making fun of them.

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1999 SL500
1969 280SE
2023 Ram 1500
2007 Tiara 3200

Priceless,,, I loved the replies.

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95 SL500 Smoke Silver, Parchment 64K
07 E350 4matic Station Wagon White 34K
02 E320 4Matic Silver/grey 80K
05 F150 Silver 44K

- PHONE: My Q7 needs a new windshield. I'd like to drop it off now. Well mam, it would be better for me to make the appointment for 2 days from now as I have to order the glass. You're looking at about $715 installed with tax. Oh, I have to PAY for that ?

- IN PERSON: I'm doing a walk-around/damage report before a ML430 goes into service. You have to replace the Mercedes emblem that just fell off the tailgate. I walk to the back.... Did it FALL off after the garage door scraped down the length of the tailgate right across it ?

- PHONE: Just gave a $27,000 estimate to replace the hydro-locked S430 engine.
I have to pay for that ? The water wasn't THAT deep !! Sir, the air intake for the engine as 3 FEET off the ground. Certainly not THAT deep but more than deep enough to damage your engine. (IT'S A GERMAN CAR NOT A GERMAN U-BOAT YOU MORON).... I thought.
Back to my early days under the cars:

- IN PERSON: Just flushed the cooling system on an old Firebird. 5 minutes later I was called to the service desk. My speedometer doesn't work now !!! What does flushing your radiator have to do with your speedometer ? Well it doesn't work now. Give me the keys. I don't take 1/2 a step out the door back to the car: Tell me how you know your speedometer doesn't work NOW when the car hasn't moved from EXACTLY where I parked it ? Silence. Here's your key back... (F*CKWIT).. I thought....

IN PERSON: Drunken bastard comes in with the car his wife came in with earlier. She had a note written by HIM as to which tire goes where,etc. SLURRING: UUUU put da t. ti. tires in thr rung placcccce. Waaaddayyaa gnna doo abooot it ? POKES ME IN THE CHEST. The first thing I'm gonna do is break your f*cking finger off and stick it in your eye if you poke me again. YEEEEAAAHHH ??!?!!? Yeah. Turns and goes back to his car. I called a friend who is a member of the local constabulary AND is on duty.. Being the upstanding citizen that I am.

- Christmas eve. Closing soon. A VW DASHER pulls up sounding like a cow bell. Luck of the draw, it's my car to check out. CHECK BRAKES on the repair order. I get in the car. Signs of something askew.
#1 - a brake caliper sitting on the passenger side floor. Not a new or rebuilt in the box. A dirty, used caliper laying there.
#2 - I Start it and push the brake pedal before I release the parking brake. THUMP !!! The brake pedal goes to the floor without a hint of resistance. I pull it in, warning everyone to MOVE ! I put it on the lift and start removing wheels. Checked the master cylinder - bone dry. I remove the right front wheel. Solid rotor nearly as thin as notebook paper. Right rear wheel - wheel cylinder blown out and what's left of the shoes are saturated in a mix of brake fluid, brake dust and thinned bearing grease. Left rear nearly as bad. And on to the left front wheel. Well... Now I know where that caliper belongs..... And remember the "cow bell" sound ? The left rotor had been worn so thin (friction material long gone on both front pads that the backings had shredded the rotor facings) that the friction facing separated from the hub surface and was spinning on the left axle like a hula hoop. Driven in, remember ? Genius has $50 available credit and wants to DRIVE the car back home. In no uncertain terms do I let him take the car. Well within the law, I leave the car on the lift and tell him he is not taking the car without a tow truck or flatbed.

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Sharing my partner's 2012 Forte 5dr SX til I find my next 123 or 126..
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Do I miss being a service advisor ???

You need a new tabloid star Kristen "hummer", a double Martini, and friend who listens to reggae to be a friend indeed, in no particular order.

I just resigned after almost 4 years as a body shop estimator/service writer in a MB, BMW, Porsche, Audi, Land Rover, Lexus, Infiniti, Cadillac dealer bodyshop...couldn't deal with another whiny person. We like to say that a poor person who is nuts is just nuts, a person with some dinero who is nuts, is pampered and babied and is, at worst, eccentric.

I'm going back into the funeral business, thank God!

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2002 Ford ZX2
2 x 2013 Honda Civics

Best of luck in your change of field.

Now you make me wanna start a thread on service advisors.

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You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows - Robert A. Zimmerman

By all means.. Most every one Ive worked with sucks..

You weren't one of those phone calls were you ?

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Sharing my partner's 2012 Forte 5dr SX til I find my next 123 or 126..
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Do I miss being a service advisor ???

Heh... Actually, for me the Ford service advisors were always spot on and to the point. My VW ones are the worst. My first MB service advisor pissed me off so bad that I switched dealerships.

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You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows - Robert A. Zimmerman

Here's a beaut from Friday...'08 Lexus ES350
came in Monday for repair, he called Wednesday for a status update, which I relayed to him through my assistant. The reverend came in Friday, yelling about how nobody has told him what's going on, sat on hold for 35 minutes on Wednesday and never spoke to any one, wants me to pay for his rental...
The assistant who he spoke to on Wednesday was standing there, and reminded him of the long conversation they had...he walked out the door, muttering the whole time about what a bunch of racists we are. We caught him lying his ass off, and we're the bad guys?!

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2002 Ford ZX2
2 x 2013 Honda Civics

We have been accused of stealing the following out of customer cars:
1. leather coat, 2 different coats, on 2 different occasions, from the same customer
2. prescription sunglasses
3. non-prescription sunglasses
4. garage door openers, so we could break into their home?!
5. floor mats...he called back to apologize, they were at home
6. cargo net in the trunk, more than I can count
7. siphoning fuel
8. a Prada keyring
9. CD's, change from the console
7. tires, said we switched her new ones for worn ones
The list goes on and on. The sad thing is that if you are a good enough customer, and buy, say a dozen cars a year, chances are, we'll replace whatever you say we stole, and you'd be amazed how many people buy a dozen cars a year from a luxury store...we have created monsters and continue to spoil them.

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2002 Ford ZX2
2 x 2013 Honda Civics

We had one last month accuse us of stealing 200 cd's from her car...

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Sharing my partner's 2012 Forte 5dr SX til I find my next 123 or 126..
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Do I miss being a service advisor ???

Advisor Guy I feel for you guys literally. It is a tough job dealing with the public and my heart goes out to you. There is something to be said of the stone age.

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"It's normal for these things to empty your wallet and break your heart in the process."
2012 SLK 350
1987 420 SEL