It's hitting me hard.



I've loved her for the past two years. I've done everything for her. She just came clean last night - she's "given please" to another man.

I'm trying to fathom how someone can be so heartless. She even said she'd thought about it before doing it, and how it would effect us.

I kicked her to the curb. She still wants to be friends, but I dont think I can ever forgive her...

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-1983 VW Rabbit LS Diesel (5speed, VNT/Giles build)

She is human, just like the rest of us, and people are naturally not monogamous. What keeps us monogamous is our inhibitions. If she was so consciously willing to do it then its very likely she would have done it to you again (If this was the first time) and will probably do it to her next partner.

"Friends" is just another way for her to get what she wants.

EDIT: Or....it could be one way of her saying she wants a three-way....

I wouldn't forgive her. Just be friends with benefits and boink her till something better comes along then kick her to the curb again.

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01 Ford Excursion Powerstroke
99 E300 Turbodiesel
91 Vette with 383 motor
05 Polaris Sportsman 800 EFI
06 Polaris Sportsman 500 EFI
03 SeaDoo GTX SC Red
03 SeaDoo GTX SC Yellow
04 Tailgator 21 ft Toy Hauler
11 Harley Davidson 883 SuperLow

I'd kick her to the curb and move on; that's the wrong chick.

Dealing with a breakup? Heck no! Married for nine years and still loving it; being single sucked.

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- Brian


1989 500SEL Euro
1966 250SE Cabriolet
1958 BMW Isetta 600

Sorry to hear that, man. I haven't dealt with a breakup in almost 17 years but I know it sucked.

Cut the ties and move on.

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1980 300TD-China Blue/Blue MBTex-2nd Owner, 107K (Alt Blau) OBK #15
'06 Chevy Tahoe Z71 (for the wife & 4 kids, current mule) '03 Honda Odyssey (son #1's ride, reluctantly) '99 GMC Suburban (255K+ miles, semi-retired mule) 21' SeaRay Seville (summer escape pod)

Time to move on.........good riddance.

__________________
99 Gurkha with OM616 IDI turbo

2015 Gurkha with OM616 DI turbo

2014 Rexton W with OM612 VGT

It's good that she told you, and you didn't find out in some other, possibly gross, way.

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1985 380SE Blue/Blue - 230,000 miles
2012 Subaru Forester 5-speed
2005 Toyota Sienna
2004 Chrysler Sebring convertible
1999 Toyota Tacoma

If she did it to you one time she could do it to you ALL the time.


She's not worth the price of admission.




NEXT!!!

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1991 560 SEC AMG, 199k <---- 300 hp 10:1 ECE euro HV ...

1995 E 420, 170k "The Red Plum" (sold)

2015 BMW 535i xdrive awd Stage 1 DINAN, 6k, <----364 hp

1967 Mercury Cougar, 49k

2013 Jaguar XF, 20k <----340 hp Supercharged, All Wheel Drive (sold)

I'm lucky as well - met a fantastic woman early on and have been with her for 16 years now, married for the past 5.

All I can say is - life is far too short to suffer it with the wrong partner. There are incredible people out there - you just need to find the right one. Hang in there. What you did took guts, and you'll look back on it with a smile in a year's time I would wager...

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Chris
2007 E550 4Matic - 61,000 Km - Iridium Silver, black leather, Sport package, Premium 2 package
2007 GL450 4Matic - 62,000 Km - Obsidian Black Metallic, black leather, all options
1998 E430 - sold
1989 300E - 333,000 Km - sold
1977 280E - sold
1971 250 - retired

"And a frign hat. They gave me a hat at the annual benefits meeting. I said. how does this benefit me. I dont have anything from the company.. So they gave me a hat." - TheDon

Wanting to remain friends is simply her way of attempting to shed the guilt caused by her transgressions. She gets to move on with a clear conscience, knowing you have forgiven her (as a result of you keeping the friendship intact).

Meanwhile you are left hurt and disillusioned.

Don't let her make you the doormat. Dumping her immediately was the right thing to do.

Some folks may be able to accept the love lost and move on. I don't believe anyone who has ever been in love can get past a two-year relationship without remorse...we're talking about a person, not a used appliance!

Do whatever you have to while you grieve...Grieving is healthy. Take whatever time you need, then engage in whatever favorite activity that gives you pleasure. But don't look for another companion until you have gotten over this one...women these days are pretty much looking for someone with their heart intact, and they aren't interested in a man who is still pining over a previous lover...

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2009 ML350 (106K) - Family vehicle
2001 CLK430 Cabriolet (80K) - Wife's car
2005 BMW 645CI (138K) - My daily driver
2016 Mustang (32K) - Daughter's car

Like I said before, why not keep her around and boink her till something comes along. Hell, he can even pretend to forgive her and what not. Buy him some time and get laid in the process.

__________________
01 Ford Excursion Powerstroke
99 E300 Turbodiesel
91 Vette with 383 motor
05 Polaris Sportsman 800 EFI
06 Polaris Sportsman 500 EFI
03 SeaDoo GTX SC Red
03 SeaDoo GTX SC Yellow
04 Tailgator 21 ft Toy Hauler
11 Harley Davidson 883 SuperLow

If you lost her,it means you never had her in the first place. The best way to deal with someone like that is to ,not miss a beat,do not let her know you are hurt, by doing that she will think that you did not give a sh$t about her . Trust me ,that will bust her bubble. Move on Brother!

Exactly. The quickest way to forget about her is to find another woman. It stings, it hurts. Don't brood over it.

Probably from before your time.

Dont talk of love,
But Ive heard the words before;
Its sleeping in my memory.
I wont disturb the slumber of feelings that have died.
If I never loved I never would have cried.
I am a rock,
I am an island.
....And a rock feels no pain;
And an island never cries

Paul Simon/Art Garfunkle

Sorry to hear your two years are down the tube. That's a lot of emotion invested. My son had his GF of five years leave him about 7 months ago. they had lived together for at least two years. he hurt pretty bad for about 6 months. then he met a new girl at a party a month ago. Its a commuter (180 miles) romance, but they see each other 1-2 times a week. He just met her family this weekend. Take time to heal and keep your eyes open for a nice new friend.

Jim, you have done well and your advice is right on. But, even a rock feels pain and islands do cry.

I like what G-Benz wrote regarding wanting to be "friends." That is just her way of clearing her conscience of any past guilt. It is a game we all play.

Grieve and cry if you must (tears have a great cathartic effect). Then move on. Life is too short to waste on "what might have beens" or "what could've beens."

Get yourself a nice pair of Manolo high heels and a tub of chocolate ice cream...oh wait, you are the guy, sorry. In that case go buy something for your car and get some new tools for yourself.

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Current Benzes

1989 300TE "Alice"
1990 300CE "Sam Spade"
1991 300CE "Beowulf" RIP (06.1991 - 10.10.2007)
1998 E320 "Orson"
2002 C320 Wagon "Molly Fox"

Res non semper sunt quae esse videntur

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