Anyone else dealing with a breakup? - PeachParts Mercedes-Benz Forum

Monomer · #1 09-02-2008, 06:13 AM

It's hitting me hard.

I've loved her for the past two years. I've done everything for her. She just came clean last night - she's "given please" to another man.

I'm trying to fathom how someone can be so heartless. She even said she'd thought about it before doing it, and how it would effect us.

I kicked her to the curb. She still wants to be friends, but I dont think I can ever forgive her...

#2 09-02-2008, 06:30 AM

She is human, just like the rest of us, and people are naturally not monogamous. What keeps us monogamous is our inhibitions. If she was so consciously willing to do it then its very likely she would have done it to you again (If this was the first time) and will probably do it to her next partner.

"Friends" is just another way for her to get what she wants.

EDIT: Or....it could be one way of her saying she wants a three-way....

Jim B. · #3 04-21-2009, 08:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ForcedInduction

She is human, just like the rest of us, and people are naturally not monogamous. What keeps us monogamous is our inhibitions. ..

I disagree. I think that is an over generalization.

My parents met one another on a Sierra Club hike, and got married 3 years later.

At the age 29, each of them had NEVER been with anyone before.

They stayed married for 64 wonderful years.

Every single morning they would hug good morning and kiss in the kitchen.

They were both utterly devoted, and faithful for their entire life, to one another.

At 92 years old, one finally died.

Ten days later so did the other.

Of a broken heart, I have absolutely no doubt.

It would have been my dearest wish to get to end like that. It was my model.

aklim · #4 04-21-2009, 12:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jim B.

I disagree. I think that is an over generalization.

My parents met one another on a Sierra Club hike, and got married 3 years later.

At the age 29, each of them had NEVER been with anyone before.

They stayed married for 64 wonderful years.

Every single morning they would hug good morning and kiss in the kitchen.

They were both utterly devoted, and faithful for their entire life, to one another.

At 92 years old, one finally died.

Ten days later so did the other.

Of a broken heart, I have absolutely no doubt.

It would have been my dearest wish to get to end like that. It was my model.

How does that prove that monogamy is not a conditioned thing?

Jim B. · #5 04-21-2009, 02:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aklim

How does that prove that monogamy is not a conditioned thing?

The remark was made in resposne to one which said that people are NOT naturallly monogamous.

My experience was
that as a practical experience, they were.

Do you think another way of living is better?

If so - please share your reasons why, if you have any.

aklim · #6 04-21-2009, 03:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jim B.

My experience was that as a practical experience, they were.

Do you think another way of living is better?

If so - please share your reasons why, if you have any.

So you are saying they were not influenced by societal conditioning and that they were born to be monogamous?

Yes and no. Depends on the person/persons concerned. I have known people to be in a polyamorous relationship and all have been happy. I have know people who are swingers who cannot wrap their minds around a poly relationship. I have known "vanilla" people who cannot even stand their spouses looking at porn. Note, this was years ago for a research project in school so things might have changed since then.

Does steak or lobster taste better?

aklim · #7 09-02-2008, 06:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Monomer

She still wants to be friends, but I dont think I can ever forgive her...

I wouldn't forgive her. Just be friends with benefits and boink her till something better comes along then kick her to the curb again.

POS · #8 09-02-2008, 08:12 AM

I'd kick her to the curb and move on; that's the wrong chick.

Dealing with a breakup? Heck no! Married for nine years and still loving it; being single sucked.

sfloriII · #9 04-20-2009, 10:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by POS

I'd kick her to the curb and move on; that's the wrong chick.

Dealing with a breakup? Heck no! Married for nine years and still loving it; being single sucked.

Couldn't agree more!! Though I've only been married coming up on two years....

SwampYankee · #10 09-02-2008, 08:15 AM

Sorry to hear that, man. I haven't dealt with a breakup in almost 17 years but I know it sucked.

Cut the ties and move on.

Gurkha · #11 09-02-2008, 08:15 AM

Time to move on.........good riddance.

Jim B. · #12 09-02-2008, 08:33 AM

If she did it to you one time she could do it to you ALL the time.

She's not worth the price of admission.

NEXT!!!

Zeus · #13 09-02-2008, 09:50 AM

I'm lucky as well - met a fantastic woman early on and have been with her for 16 years now, married for the past 5.

All I can say is - life is far too short to suffer it with the wrong partner. There are incredible people out there - you just need to find the right one. Hang in there. What you did took guts, and you'll look back on it with a smile in a year's time I would wager...

G-Benz · #14 09-02-2008, 11:23 AM

Wanting to remain friends is simply her way of attempting to shed the guilt caused by her transgressions. She gets to move on with a clear conscience, knowing you have forgiven her (as a result of you keeping the friendship intact).

Meanwhile you are left hurt and disillusioned.

Don't let her make you the doormat. Dumping her immediately was the right thing to do.

Some folks may be able to accept the love lost and move on. I don't believe anyone who has ever been in love can get past a two-year relationship without remorse...we're talking about a person, not a used appliance!

Do whatever you have to while you grieve...Grieving is healthy. Take whatever time you need, then engage in whatever favorite activity that gives you pleasure. But don't look for another companion until you have gotten over this one...women these days are pretty much looking for someone with their heart intact, and they aren't interested in a man who is still pining over a previous lover...

Hatterasguy · #15 09-02-2008, 12:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by G-Benz

Wanting to remain friends is simply her way of attempting to shed the guilt caused by her transgressions. She gets to move on with a clear conscience, knowing you have forgiven her (as a result of you keeping the friendship intact).

Meanwhile you are left hurt and disillusioned.

Don't let her make you the doormat. Dumping her immediately was the right thing to do.

Some folks may be able to accept the love lost and move on. I don't believe anyone who has ever been in love can get past a two-year relationship without remorse...we're talking about a person, not a used appliance!

Do whatever you have to while you grieve...Grieving is healthy. Take whatever time you need, then engage in whatever favorite activity that gives you pleasure. But don't look for another companion until you have gotten over this one...women these days are pretty much looking for someone with their heart intact, and they aren't interested in a man who is still pining over a previous lover...

X2, well said.