Quote:
Originally Posted by Graplr
Although you are right on the surface, the only people that are losing here are your boys.
You are right that their mother is being a bad mother by letting them do drugs in the house. But if their father gives up on them then they most likely are going to fail miserably in society. You can't give up on him even if it seems pointless. You have to show him that you care about him. It may seem like you are banging your head against a wall right now but it will payoff down the road when he grows up and sees that he actually has a father that cared for him rather than gave up on him.
He will eventually get older and see that his mother took the easy way out and let him do whatever he wanted and that was not what he needed and that you were trying to do what was best for him by showing some discipline. But if you give up on him he may not get to that point.
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Being a parent as well (with nephews who chose the same path), there isn't much he can do at this point. The courts have already ruled in her favor, and they are far too old and determined to change, considering the coddling they already receive for their actions.
I don't know if you ever followed egatworks progressions that led to this point in previous threads, but the barriers to instill any compassion or discipline to those boys were nothing short of an exercise in futility.
Egatwork chose to move on, which IMHO is the best thing to do, for his sanity. It's inevitable that one, or both of them will ultimately wind up incarcerated. Sometimes hitting rock bottom is the only way a person wakes up and decides to change their habits.
My nephews have finally been released not long ago, and they are struggling to fly right, which isn't easy in a society that doesn't welcome ex-cons with open arms. Both of them wished they actually listened to the family's pleadings, instead of pompously forging ahead with their motives.
09-15-2008, 02:01 PM
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