Jokes tha dont offend
 

Jokes that wont offend, yet lack a certain..... "something"...good for telling kids.

Two parrots were sitting on a perch. One looked at the other and said "Do you smell something fishy?"

A horse walked in a bar - The bartender said, Why the long face?

A set of jumper cables walked into a bar. The bartender said, " I'll serve you, but just don't start anything.":rolleyes:

Q: What's brown and sticky?

A: A stick

Q: What's long hard and full of seamen?

A: A submarine!

Two cats peer around the base of a tree and see two robbins relaxing on their backs in the sun.

The first cat turns to the second and asks, "Feel like eating some 'baskin' robbins'?"

Howdy All,
What goes in hard and comes out soft and wet........ Gum:D

These two atoms are talking, when the one says: "I think I've lost an electron" The other asks: " Are you sure?" The first one replies: "Yes, I'm positive"

So this baby seal walks into a club....


Also a variation on rsbiomedical's:

Celine Dion walk up to a bar, the bar keep says, "so Celine, why the long face?"

Howdy All,
It was so hot today I say a dog chasing a cat and they were both walking:)

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed. Is there anything you can do for him?"
"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him."
So, he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, checks his teeth, etc.
Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What? Just because he's cross-eyed???"
"No, because he's really, really heavy."

Q: Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

A: Because it didn't have any guts!

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Q: What do you call a Jamaican proctologist?

A: A pokemon.

Why did the monky fall out of the tree?

Because it was dead.